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slowmutant
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23 May 2008, 9:00 am

how can obliviousness be deliberate?



TUnoriginal
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23 May 2008, 9:44 am

I saw this post and I what most people have said describes me perfectly. In school I had severe issues with authority, if something seemed illogical or not right I refused to comply as a "matter of principle", even if I was fighting someone else's battles for them. I was regularly suspended in high school (well over 15 times). When it comes to work I butt heads with superiors quite frequently. If I feel they are wrong I refuse to comply to their "orders" and fight them on it. I can never call anyone Mr./Mrs. or Sir. It feels like I am subordinating myself, which I can't allow. Everyone is called by their first name only.

I actually made the decision a year ago to be self employed as I could no longer "push someone else's agenda" and became very frustrated doing anything people told me to do.

Overall I treat everybody exactly the same, whether that be a parent, sibling, grand parent, boss, stranger. I don't see why my reaction to a situation should be altered depending on the person. I tend to be very emotionally detached from situations until I feel wronged, then I am overwhelmed with anger and frustration (verbal, not physical) and "have to" see the situation righted.

I am very good at arguing points on logic and pointing out the illogical ways of people I feel are wrong. This "skill" has served me well, and I am very good at "winning" arguments or disagreements.

I'm happy to see I'm not alone in this view!



merrymadscientist
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24 May 2008, 3:29 pm

I'm not even aware that there are hierarchies where I work - perhaps there are and its me who doesnt know about them. I dont think it matters too much though where I am concerned. I have so little self esteem that generally I will act as though everyone is higher up in the hierarchy than me.



juliekitty
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24 May 2008, 5:05 pm

TUnoriginal wrote:
I can never call anyone Mr./Mrs. or Sir. It feels like I am subordinating myself, which I can't allow. Everyone is called by their first name only.


Where I work, everyone is called by their first name only and there's an affectation of casualness, yet it's the most retardedly hierarchical organization I've ever worked for.

I'd almost rather bin the hypocrisy and call people "Sir", "Lord" or "Your Highness" according to their position.



Greentea
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31 Aug 2008, 4:07 pm

People who are always in a position of power over you, even if it seems ridiculous that it should be so:

The mechanic - you need your car fixed more than he needs your money right now.
The hospital nurse - you need your health more than they need their job
The hospital doctor - same
The baker at closing time on a weekend's eve - you need bread more than he needs the 0.2c right now
etc.


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Greentea
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31 Aug 2008, 4:09 pm

People who are always in a position of power over you, even if it seems ridiculous that it should be so:

The mechanic - you need your car fixed more than he needs your money right now.
The hospital nurse - you need your health more than they need their job
The hospital doctor - same
The baker at closing time on a weekend's eve - you need bread more than he needs the 0.2c right now
etc.


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ManErg
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31 Aug 2008, 6:31 pm

Greentea wrote:
The baker at closing time on a weekend's eve - you need bread more than he needs the 0.2c right now
etc.

Surely Bakers have no power since 24 hour Tesco's exists? 8)

Seriously, Greentea, you have an interesting subject here (as you so often have!).

My ignorance of the accepted heirarchy has been mentioned at work. Apparently you are supposed to behave totally differently when in the presence of the head honcho. Suddenly common sense must be ignored and if head honcho says "the sky is green" you have to agree with him. More than that obvious stuff, though, it's about subtle body language cues. AS = "oh dear".

Nothing to be proud of, basically I treat the office cleaner the same as the CEO because I am equally uncomfortable in the presence of either. I have no choice, it;s just the way things are. Of course most colleagues are horrified by the lack of respect I show to someone who hasn't yet earned my respect (the CEO, not the cleaner).

1 ounce of the real is better than a million tons of the ersatz.


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Greentea
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31 Aug 2008, 6:49 pm

I meant the person at the Tesco's bakery counter, of course.


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claire-333
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31 Aug 2008, 11:05 pm

Hmmm...I missed this thread somehow. Very interesting. This is a problem I also have. I am very fortunate to have a boss who puts up with it. I work directly under the main director for our facility and I have been known to correct or argue with him in front of a room full of people. He is a pretty good sport about it though. I think it is because he knows if he needs something done, I will get it done. I have heard him say...That Claire stays on top of me.



Magique
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01 Sep 2008, 12:27 pm

Power relations are interesting. I don't have a problem following an organizational chart, but the unwritten rules get me. Work, unless I'm really lucky, is an exercise in dealing with primates. I play the game well enough to get my bananas, but I don't identify with it (or I try not to). It is exhausting. I get along fine with bosses who can relate on a human level, but not at all with bosses who are "The Boss". It does drive me nuts when the boss requires something that is unethical, illogical or just plain wrong despite my having it pointed it out. At that point I detach. I just work here.



astarisbored
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17 Sep 2008, 5:31 am

Shayne wrote:
WE'VE GOT THE RIGHT TO CHOOSE AND
THERE AIN'T NO WAY WE'LL LOSE IT
THIS IS OUR LIFE, THIS IS OUR SONG
WE'LL FIGHT THE POWERS THAT BE JUST
DON'T PICK OUR DESTINY 'CAUSE
YOU DON'T KNOW US, YOU DON'T BELONG

OH WE'RE NOT GONNA TAKE IT
NO, WE AIN'T GONNA TAKE IT
OH WE'RE NOT GONNA TAKE IT ANYMORE



Oh You're So Condescending
Your Gall Is Never Ending
We Don't Want Nothin', Not A Thing From You
Your Life Is Trite And Jaded
Boring And Confiscated
If That's Your Best, Your Best Won't Do



juliekitty
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18 Sep 2008, 9:06 pm

ManErg wrote:
Of course most colleagues are horrified by the lack of respect I show to someone who hasn't yet earned my respect (the CEO, not the cleaner).


I do enjoy their dumbfounded looks.



Greentea
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21 Sep 2008, 12:22 am

You enjoy? Don't you fear for your job? 8O


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Igor
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23 Sep 2008, 5:33 am

At work I respect the hierarchy, but I also expect to be respected as a person. So if my boss tells me to do something, then I do it to the best of my ability. If anyone else asks me, then if they're polite and respectful I will do what I can to help; however, if they're rude, then I have been known to lose my temper at them.

As I work in Higher Education as a member of support staff, this can lead to the occasional clashes. Some of the higher-up academic staff think that their qualifications somehow make them superior to support staff - that I can't tolerate. I'm fairly senior amongst the non-academic staff and only answer to the Head of Department; I do not like being ordered around or looked down upon by the pretentious academics.

I've been lucky, in that I have worked in departments that are fairly enlightened (though have their moments :roll: ) but I have colleagues who work in departments where the academic staff expect the support staff to kowtow to them. That would really annoy me.

Personally, I treat all people the same. I expect the staff I'm responsible for to do what's asked of them, but in no way do I ever treat them as inferior. In fact, I respect the skills they have that I don't and try to use their knowledge and experience to make the team work better.



slowmutant
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23 Sep 2008, 5:37 am

Life is full of hierarchies. Accept it and learn to deal with them. :idea: