Question for those who felt worthless or suicidal as a child

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I can remember laying on the bathroom flooring, crying, wanting to die and go to heaven while my parents raged out side the door. They turned spousal abuse into an Olympic event. (both have equal blame in the fights. both would start them)

I was 5.

This was 1969.

When they heard me crying, my dad said screamed, " What are YOU crying about?".

They were both worthless maniacs who should have never had kids.

I was probably situationally depressed growing up because my home life was a tire fire.

And from the ages of 5-12 wished I would drop dead and go to heaven.

Suicidally depressed kids isn't a new thing.

I was feeling worthless and suicidal BECAUSE I was being yelled at and called an idiot by my family. A lot of people with mental health issues are also hyperempathetic so they absorb negative emotions from others and internalize them. The best way to stop someone from killing themselves is to stop the negative thought processes. With yelling, you run the risk of making the thoughts worse.

Well, I developed a theory. If the day started out bad, odds were it would finish up ok. Start out good, take care to keep out of the way. That was back when I was eight. I left home at 15

Wow! I was looking at some of these posts and some of them are truly scary! When I look at an old post I made years ago under a different name, my problems are nothing by comparison.

my parents yelling belittling things at me definitely made me feel worthless and suicidal. one would have to have been born deaf to avoid such a result.