mil1lion wrote:
I weary of this crushing non-specific pain of unkown etiology.... it's a vicious circle, I feel bad so I go out, I usually have a good time, then I crash, and I feel bad so I go out, I usually have.... the only drugs that help I get from Willie down the street, he's also my bartender... Synergy is a way of life, it seems to have worked out okay thus far, I earned my BFA in photography as an honor grad. Some days I feel like I'm wading through waist deep pudding and other days you can't hold me back. I see the word 'Normal' appearing all through this thread, if normal means I lose my 140 IQ I will remain the tortured ponce I am.... only wishing for someone to talk with from time to time...
that crushing non-specific pain is a
known etiology, mil1lion. The cause is your body's inability to metabolise the organic chemicals that were produced by the fermentation of sugars, especially glucose, (alcohol) is the manner of causation of the disease or condition you might be experiencing. (dipsomania)
I suggest this because I, too have that condition,and may I say, you described it
perfectly!. I had to dig out from that pudding and live in the non-pudding world. I know what you mean about synergy and relaxing on the wave of being in the right place at the right time (i showed up to the (1st)Woodstock Festival, FFS.)
Then I had finally had enough with what you are describing, I drew people towards me (like you are doing) that saw my problem and (listen,this is important)
I listened to them, and put those new practices to work in my life. What a difference it has made!
See, I didn't know I was autistic when I drank, and didn't know I was autistic when I stopped the crushing non-specific pain in my life, so I was never tempted to say. . . "but I am
difffffferent!! you don't underrrrrstand ~_~
I want to assure you that it works even for people like us. So put the kibosh on all the skepticism, dispose of moral superiority, and re-learn a little intellectualism discipline and literally get with the program. Please care enough for that person you were and do it for him.
But you won't lose your brilliance of thoughts, if anything, you will brush off that degree and smoothly move yourself into a whole new gear in your professional life. It works, if you work it, and damned if it isn't so!
I was the other way around, I didn't get my degree and career until after I kicked that crushing pudding filled life to the curb. You can too! It's only the most difficult thing in your life, but you will respect yourself throughout eternity.
you can post me privately, if you like
Merle
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Alis volat propriis
State Motto of Oregon
26 Mar 2018, 2:45 pm
