Appears socially successful but has aspergers?

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Yes, I assume as much, might be interesting to look for an association there - I'm still looking for a BSc thesis topic and I want to do something about AS but I'd probably have difficulties finding sociopathic participants... Maybe as a PhD, sometime... I think the mechanisms used for "learning" social interactions might well be the same ones in AS/HFA/Sociopathy. Just the motivation can be quite different for the latter making it more"destructive" for social environments.

The hot and cold feelings are a really good description. Maybe most people around me have more hot running feelings so when I try to describe mine they categorise that as "no feelings". I have yet to find a way to describe how I truly care about someone so they understand it as "caring" and not as "using them to make myself feel better"...

The big difference I see is that I tend to figure out how I want to act ahead of time, and then when the emotions turn on it confuses me. A lot of other people seem to act on their base emotional instincts in the moment and then rationalize their behaviors after the fact. In this manner, you could say there's learning by deciding and learning by doing. Learning by deciding is more difficult and takes more time and is very less instinctual, and the addition of emotions confounds it. Almost everything in my life that I learned I CHOSE to learn. I chose how to be outgoing. I chose how interact with this group or that group. I chose how I wanted to walk and how to poise myself and what personality I wanted to exude in this moment and that and what I wanted my handwriting to look like. I choose every day I walk into the grocery store if I'm in the mood to smile at the other patrons or not, but it's still based on some level of emotion, including feeling bad if I'm not smiling. If a true sociopath is indeed disconnected from their feelings, then they have no emotions confusing that process. Feeling bad about not smiling would not affect a sociopath. Knowing that not smiling might not net a certain reward is what the sociopath will focus on. At least, that's how I look at it.



"I have never understood why it should be necessary to become irrational in order to prove that you care, or indeed why it should be necessary to prove it at all."

at 1:55 - Avon is my hero.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SWHLU8fwi80&feature=youtu.be[/youtube]

That's a good quote

And, yeah, that's what I meant with the different motivations.
I would choose to smile because I know it makes group interaction smoother and the other people wouldn't change their behaviour towards me because they think I'm weird - which would mean additional (emotional) stress for me. But I still switch it off and on based on what I know about the situation and the effects of smiling vs. non-smiling. (and sometimes I notice, I forget to switch it off again when I meet someone I know and go on smiling at the next few people walking past me until I realise I still have a smile on my face... XD )

If I was sociopathic I would choose to smile because when those people like me I will get what I want from them more easily. If they didn't have anything I wanted, I wouldn't smile. Probably...

Still, would be interesting to conduct a comparative personality/neuropsychological study...

A picture I stole

Reminds me of Silent Hill 2. Looks like James in the elevator in the hospital. If it is, then I just scored 10 points to my geek cred. (All my housemates and I are gamers, so I can't help but keep a look out.)

If you can do that, that would be awesome. I like coming up with ideas and creating tests for stuff like that, but actually running participants bored me to tears (I think that's the whole purpose for having undergrads to work with). All of my cognitive psychology lab work dealt with either dyslexia (because that was the post-grad's interest whom I was working under) or neural imaging during false memory tests. My interest, though, is in judgment and decision making as well as child development - as it relates to A.I. I'm not too horribly interested in cognitive dysfunction except for how it interplays with the above. I do find interest in the exceptions, though, because seeing how things break gives glimpses into how things are supposed to work.

You just earned 10 points, lady! Bonus points +5

Woot! I really want to get this painting as a huge Giclee print for my wall. I've drooled over that thing ever since I first saw it in game. Your icon would make a pretty nice print as well.

[Yeah, I should get back on topic ]

I think it's very possible for Asperger's to be successful and lead completely "normal" lives.
It all depends on their determination and interests.

as well as a generous dollop of good luck, good acquaintances and better timing. and anybody who would callously say "you make your own luck" has some learning to do.

I guess I've had some good fortune.
Luck can be late though so it's not all about having luck by a certain age, too.

That's a good point to keep in mind. I can get depressed thinking about how much better things could have been had things been different in childhood and about how it's just too late for me now, bla, bla, bla.

Very interesting video. Thanks for posting it!

I have found that there are certain circumstances when I want to "fake it" but the majority of the time I feel hypocritical if I do so I don't.

I'm wondering how all this plays into socializing with others on the spectrum. Is it easier or harder for you?

I'm beginning to think that I gravitate toward others with aspie traits because it is less "tiring" to communicate with them.

NicoleG: Learning by deciding is more difficult and takes more time and is very less instinctual, and the addition of emotions confounds it. Almost everything in my life that I learned I CHOSE to learn. I chose how to be outgoing. I chose how interact with this group or that group. I chose how I wanted to walk and how to poise myself and what personality I wanted to exude in this moment and that and what I wanted my handwriting to look like. I choose every day I walk into the grocery store if I'm in the mood to smile at the other patrons or not, but it's still based on some level of emotion, including feeling bad if I'm not smiling.

I'm newly diagnosed and still very much at the stage of learning how much of the way I've developed is actually not typical of all people, despite the fact I'd always assumed it was. What you say is absolutely true of me, but I've only realised it through reading your post – thank you for setting it out. I've learned far more about myself from reading snippets about people's life experience than I did from the medical/developmental literature.

With me it depends what the situation is, and it is all very much related to how I'm having to communicate or socialise with people.

I can do a presentation in front of 200 people, but head down in my notes, rarely looking up, I am generally quite good at this, and often get great reviews from people. As I've got older, I can now do a lot more of looking up at the audience and running my eyes over the scene, but this is a learnt action and I find it very weird and still unnerving to do this.

Stick me in meeting though, with 5 or 6 people, and I'm a wreck, especially if I have to give a report or comment on something. Here, you'll find me starting sentences and trailing off into silence as I am clearly centre of attention, but in a very personal way. Nearly always I come out of meetings feeling like a complete idiot, who didn't get anything right and sounded like a 5 year old.

On a one-to-one basis on the whole I'm fine, and can manage all the learnt small talk and nod in the right places - I can even do an appropriate amount of eye contact, whilst avoiding this ... . Usually, people will quickly get bored with my ramblings and wander off, especially if they have other options. Stick two or more people with me though, and that's it - I am just a shadowy figure who no-one else notices and even if I manage to butt in, I'll be stared at like I'm an alien or something. Even if I'm walking in the middle of a group of 3 people, the other two will still talk across me, as if there was just some strange gap between them and not a person.

So at social events, I'll be the one sat in the corner, usually being completely ignored. This, however, is preferable to being noticed, as I'll might get dragged into doing some stupid attention-seeking social thing (games, whatever), and probably end up having a meltdown, as that is still the absolute limit for me. Social events leave me completely exhausted and stressed out.

With all of these, I'm much less able to cope if I'm tired, so sleep is key to my life running smoothly and age has helped as I have gradually learnt more and more coping mechanisms.