The Married Aspie Cafe Thread (discussion of marriage, etc.)

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I pm'ed you the contents of what I read. The way they put it is disgusting, really. I'm also not crazy about NT bashing either. As I said in another post, we have to meet halfway and learn about each other.

I saw it. My NT husband thinks it's just the Jerry Springer set and you should quit looking at it before it rots your brain. LOL He's not very sympathetic to the emos.

I like him better every day.

Ha, ha. Mine says the same thing. But he knows I'm an intp and have to pound a dead horse to powder before I'm satisfied.

That's okay. We tried to socialize with people from my work which turned into the fiasco of the year. There was an art show there and he said, We should have just gone to the art show. He was absolutely right. The only thing I got out of the fiasco was a headache and a feeling of nausea.

I'm thirty something and been married for 15 years which has at times felt like a life sentence, i am not an aspie and do not suffer from any ailment at all apart from when i have PMT well then i am a psycho bat! If my marriage ended would i get married again .....................NO!! !! !! !! !! ! marriage is an institution.

What happened at the social event? Are you ok with it now?

I'll just have to remember not to get sucked in again. It was one of those things that went from very small get together to friends from out of town, to kids involved, etc. Add in an additional, unexpected 45 min to the drive, the people not being where they said they would be by the time we got there, me leaving the cell in the car, etc. After an hour of noise after that, we went and sat on the beach. That's when he said, We should have gone to the art show and dinner.

It's no big tragedy. He thought my co-worker was pretty flakey anyway when she started telling him about my natal chart. I think he was more annoyed that I forgot how much I hate these things and how people like that always turn them into something I can't deal with, but we both forgot it by today.

The weather is crappy today so we still can't go to the art show. The one next week has my favorite photographer though, so we'll go to that one.

My co-worker will probably be freaked out tomorrow and need some pacifying. I think I'm a little beyond her realm of experience.

I'm fortunate that my NT partner doesn't care about these things any more than I do. We discuss dates & milestones, but neither of us is "into" occasions or celebrations. There's no expectation to remember specifics, we each possess different strengths in our recall, only some of which overlap.

It's peculiar reading all the books that assume the dx'd person in the relationship is male (I'm female). I sometimes joke w/my companion that he's an honorary autistic person just because he's male (he's mildly OCD, unofficially). That happens when he says something that sounds just like what I've seen listed as a symptom/indicator "typically" associated with AS (esp. if it's something unlike me, the "official" aspie). Gets baffling to sort out which miscommunications are due to male-female ("Mars/Venus" stereotypes) vs. "AS/NT" differences-and which category either of us fit into, depending on the description. Very wobbly concepts.

Everyone pretty much agrees you can throw mars and venus out with me. As my younger brother likes to say, my second X isn't fully formed. LOL I don't know that I have any sense of nuturing or domestication. I keep trying to think of something.

Anyway, I feel bad about the birthdays and anniversaries because he gets me such thoughtful gifts and does wonderful things for me on those days. He's sentimental that way, but just about me.

I wonder if Aspie women like OCD men? I've never liked a single man who wasn't at least very Anal Retentive. Those types are also the ones who are usually attracted to me.

I think we would drive the therapists crazy with their half-baked notions of what our marriages are, but as my husband points out, they only see spouses in unhappy marriages so of course their perspective is skewed.

I rarely forget birthdays and anniversaries, but I do have a real problem getting my backside in gear to do something about it. I just never know what to do, what to get, or how much is an appropriate amount to spend. If I had a £1 for every time I'd said "I'm sorry, I haven't got you anything for X" I'd be a rich man.

I think my wife seems to have resigned herself to that now - when we were first married we had some cracking rows about it. Daft thing is when I get my act together I do usually find something that is well appreciated (or is that because of her shock in actually getting something ).

Or am I just being a man?

What is a natal chart?

I believe a natal chart refers to Astrology, being the alignment of the stars at the time of your birth, and all that ...

It is an Astrology chart!! ! Anyway, that pretty much did her in with dh. He's not much for that.

Cerrunos, I think typically it is. In our house it's him buying me all kinds of gifts all the time and me forgetting everything. When I get him something it's good, but forget remembering dates.

I think an astrology chart would have gone over as well as Tarrot cards with my hubby.

I find I'm more accepting than he is of other people's strange ideas. I think he would have found an excuse to leave the party before me.

Once I forgot hubby's birthday and I'll never do that again (BIG TROUBLE). Amazon will send you email as a reminder.

Hubby bought me a small George Ohr vase for my birthday. I'm convinced he was autistic:

http://www.smithsonianmag.com/issues/20 ... php?page=1

what do you think? Autistic or crazy? I like collecting art by crazy and/or autistic people.

I have no idea what to get hubby for his birthday now.

I think he has great taste! He must be related to my husband. LOL

Oh, she does the tarot cards as well. She was hilarious today. She actually said to me, "I told my husband you were all stressed out and that it was my fault. I never should have invited you to a party with all those people! What was I thinking! I can't believe I did that to you." She was so upset and I was like, "Oh, I have forgotten about it."

She currently holds the prize for NT apologies for placing me in overload situations. She swore she would never do it again. We'll see if she remembers.

SeriousGirl, yer hubs must be obssessed with art ! ! It must be a lovely work ! !
I once gave the Missus a lab bottle that looped inside itself. (She works in a hospital lab, and I think she showed it to one person before stuffing in a cupboard.)