Inexperienced over 40 men

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I think each and every person has their own time table and we should not judge people by when they've had their first full on sexual experience. I am high functioning and had mine at 36 years old. It doesn't mean that I am deficient or broken. I take personal issue with The 40 Year Old Virgin. It does nothing but reinforce an artificial expectation of society.

Some men are extremely sensitive and want their potential partner to be really accepting of them before they will feel comfortable engaging in sex. I had no problem with oral but I always felt awkward for that I wouldn't do everything right. I had some psychological hangups. Even after my first experience, I didn't particularly enjoy it. I still don't see what sex is cracked up to be. I get far more pleasure from getting and giving oral or hand jobs. Yes, I actually like going down on a girl. I like getting her off and feeling her respond to my hand.

I'm clumsy and awkward when it comes to sex. It's going to take a very special woman to put up with me and right now I'm content to be single and enjoy my working life for the first time ever. I've found my new career as a truck driver to be incredibly satisfying. So much so, that for the time being, I've lost the desire for intimacy. I've never been very good at juggling personal and professional lives. Usually when one is doing well, the other suffers. Right now though, personally and professionally I'm content.

I am an autistic woman and far from asexual. Sex, it seems to me, is, along with music, the greatest thing about being alive - not that I get much chance to be with anyone, because of all the social problems and emotional overload stuff.

The idea that someone would be derided for being a virgin appals me What the hell does it matter? If you care about someone, you'd want to be with him, regardless of how many or how few partners he'd had. It's as bizarre to me as caring about the colour of someone's hair.

Someone said something above about women being "shallow" or whatever. The thing is, I think some inexperienced men get into a sort of mindset that no woman will ever want them. They are oblivious to the signals women give out. Also, right or wrong, there are social roles in place for heterosexuals: a behaviour which is expected and whose absence is read as absence of interest. Classically, a woman will "signal" that the man may approach. If he doesn't, she assumes she's mistaken - he's not interested. And she feels mortified at her error.

Yes, some women can be cold, rejecting or patronising, but believe me, so can some men. "Women only want men who are... " Yes, well, I could say, "Men only want women who are... "

The other side of this "can't get a girlfriend" coin is pages of women talking about how the shy man they have a crush on seems indifferent to them and keeps backing away.

Anyway, I wouldn't care if it was a man's first time when he was with me. All I'd care about is that he was in general kind and loyal to me. What else matters?

It probably is more of a hetro guy thing. The former "old maid" stereotype has died out with the widespread acceptence of the career women but the old "frigid" women or female who will not "put out" is a politically incorrect thing to say but it is still said in private. Inexperienced guys were when I grew up and are still are considered lower then liars, cheats and most types of criminals by most other hetro guys. Back then they called
people they suspected were virgins homophobic slurs now that that is a incorrect thing to say in public they are called losers or autistic. Yes autistic, the perception of sexual inexperience is part of the reason autistic has become a semi acceptable slur.

Just try IRL or online saying you are a guy virgin over the age of 20 and see what happens. You will be like I wrote two years ago mercilessly attacked or given, patronizing, condescending "advice".

Of course Autistic virgins are often not going to pick up signals from somebody else that they have the hots for them especially subtle signals. That is still is a common part of the condition.