What are late 30's early 40's women suppose to be like?

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Its funny that after I start this post I end up buying a Baja Hoodie which is the ultimate in slumming it. Oh well can always wear on the weekends.

Bet it's nice and comfy too.

I wrote I myself but it took me about 45 minutes.

I look at magazines and see the way people dress for different occassions. Like if I am going to be around mothers and children, I look at Womans Day and usually the way they dress is appropriate. If I am going to a club (when I lived in Vegas for two years coworkers would go on Friday nights and invite me) I went to a club the first time and saw how they dressed and everyone kind of dresses the same so it was easy to do.

With my aspie bf, he for some odd reason likes me to dress up like a slut when he takes me out to dinner at restaurants. He likes cleavage and back and short dresses with four inch heels. I don't mind as long as kids are not around. I would never wear the club or dinner things to work or around family type functions. It would look ridiculous. Since I have no idea how to put clothes together with accessories, I copy magazines, or mannequins and keep it simple. My makeup I have applied at the makeup counter and I just tell them where I'm going.

If I had my way, I'd wear my pajamas and charlie brown tshirt all day and night in and out of the house. My cat doesn't care

I suspect he asks this of you so you are sort of like a trophy wife. Seeing how its hard for many AS guys to get a woman he's probably really big into showing you off as a means of boasting how "manly" he is. No disrespect intended but I'd be careful showing off cleavage and wearing backless dresses at your age as it looks really bad and will cause you to be treated badly in public unless you are one of those special people like Tina Turner who have a hot body even as a granny. Most of us lose the hot body somewhere in the 30's, or in my case mid-20's.

Incredibly hot

Don't try to live up to some arbitrary standard of chronological correctness! Just do whatever comes naturally. Honestly, I'm 36, I have no 'biological clock' urges, I don't ever want to be a house frau or office gossip-monger...it just doesn't appeal to me in any way. I can only be me.

Last edited by theOtherSide on 06 Jul 2009, 4:24 am, edited 1 time in total.

No matter what you wear, you'll probably look hot. (just joking)

I'm not sure what 40yo ladies are meant to be like. But in a fashion sense, usually the clothes are more conservative/sensible and 'smart casual' to my knowledge.

Try getting books from the library by Trinny and Susanna, like 'what not to wear'. They gave me a real complex, but hell, I started overhauling my wardrobe immediately!

For a smart look without appearing to try too hard and lose respect, try taking the basic things you wore when you were younger and making them a little more dressed up. Like-

T shirt, get some that have a scoop neck, and are longish and fitted to your body (not tootight) instead of widely baggy and crew necked.
If you like jeans, don't wear baggy faded ones with straight legs. These are too casual, so get a pair of darker blue 'boot cut' jeans.
Get a nice posh coat you feel comfortable in, and wear flat closed toe shoes like ballet flats. Shine up leather ones.
Brush your hair and tie it up. Wear a little bit of mascara, and a bit of tinted lipbalm.

I'm not sure if this is the sort of advice you're after, but people seem to treat me better when I do these things, and they tell me I 'look smart today'.

Ps. Don't worry, yuppies just love to stare people down. On the train one day I was being openly glared at by some middle aged lady in hideous jewellry because I sometimes look gothy.

Maybe I'm not "getting" this thread, but when I passed 40, and also had to stop working, I experienced a wonderful freedom to wear whatever I damn well pleased! Sometimes, I wear a frilly, feminine dress with flats. Sometimes, I wear a men's flannel shirt over a t-shirt, with slacks and riding boots. Sometimes, I wear shorts and a t-shirt. I look about 20 years younger than my age, but that never mattered to me. In fact, I wish I was as healthy as I was 20 years ago! Maybe if I had to keep up a professional appearance at a job, it would matter more? Anyway, this is a cool, interesting thread!

I've always thought women that were 40 and up were "distinguished looking and acting." I am not that. Like the poster above, I wear whatever I want because I hardly care what others think anymore. I've been told I look and act younger. I hardly care what the standard is for seeming 40 because I don't want to seem that old.

I've seen that I can tend to be treated younger, so I'm trying to find ways to dress and speak to make people realise that I'm actually not a kid.
But that said, I also like my comfort too much to be that strict about it.

I don't think there is a standard any more. I'm 41 and what friends I have are a similar age. Most of us wear clothes that we find comfortable and can afford. One of my friends wears a lot of designer clothes which are hand-me-downs from her wealthy mother-in-law. The rest of us buy our clothes from charity shops and supermarkets. We also hand on clothes to each other if they don't fit any more or if we don't wear them. We tend to wear flat shoes, and little or no make-up.

I think my mother's generation aged more in terms of clothes and how they appeared than my generation does. Even work clothes seem similar for women of all ages.

I'm a 42 year old NT. I think the key as we get older is to take care of ourselves - eat well, stay in shape, exercise our minds, learn how to handle stress - all around wellness, I'd say.

For clothing, I really don't look to women my age to see how to dress. I just buy what flatters me. You'll have colors and styles that will look good on you, and other stuff won't - it doesn't matter what age it's for. I buy jeans that are marketed to teens because they fit my body. I usually go to the Gap, J.Crew, Banana Republic, Marshall's and TJ Maxx. I couldn't describe to you what I look for, but I know what I like when I see it. And I do wear lots of t-shirts.

When I'm at work and have patients to see, I'm not allowed to wear blue jeans, but it's pretty relaxed, and I wear scrubs at deliveries.

How should you act? In the NT world, I'm amazed how adults can't stand in a line or take turns. It's very frustrating. If you read a book on manners, and just try to be 'polite', you'll be ahead of most others who're considered 'normal'.

As far as my interests, I have tons. I LOVE books - I buy tons of them. I love art and architecture. I was a mosaicist for a few years, but now I'm back in school studying to be a midwife - I want to work with women in third world countries. I'm trying to learn French, massage, hospice care, prenatal care for moms with AIDS, etc. I love the sciences, and I enjoy watching shows about marine biology and astronomy. There's so much in the world to enjoy.

Now, having said all that, I'm not an aspie, but I also don't fit in with my peers. So my way isn't probably the norm either, but, like you, I'm used to being on my own and being different.

I have a couple of things I can wear out to dinner or whatever (summer sundress, shoes to go with). Mostly, though, I find something I like the feel and look of, and buy several of it in the same color. Colder weather, that color is usually black; warmer weather, usually white. I am a big fan of the several-of-the-same-thing method:

1 - you don't have to think about what to wear.
2 - it dramatically delays the moment where you have to think about buying clothing again.
3 - it also delays the moment where, for some insane reason known as "fashion trends," you can't find the things you like anymore.

I rely on my husband to tell me if I am wearing something inappropriate for a particular outing, or that it's time for new shoes, coat, etc. Other than that, I rarely think about what I wear.