What is it about AS that makes people hunger for a diagnosis

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It’s interesting. I was diagnosed last year and, every once in a while, have doubts about the diagnosis. Mostly because it is such an imprecise science. As my wife reminds me, no one is normal.

What I find fascinating is this. Since first learning about Aspergers, I have become more “locked” into being “me” (assuming I am an Aspie, this means more Aspergian). I suppose I am comfortable with that. But, it has some bad side effects.

As an example, I have begun to avoid things that I know I am not good at. Previously (before I ever learned about Aspergers and Autism), I still attempted to do things that I was not good at (e.g. attend social events, attend job-related networking events). I didn’t really want to attend these, I only did so, because I thought, “I should”. While I would typically leave those events with that “empty feeling”, I would still try. Now, I figure “why bother”.

Perhaps, it’s depression. Or, perhaps, it’s part of the aging process. I no longer have the drive to do something wonderful in the world (by making a difference). In many ways, I feel like I am reverting back to how I felt as a child (where I would sit in my room in solitude, staring out the window, wondering why I was brought into the world).

As a note, it was depression and anxiety that led me down this path of self-discovery in the first place (leading to a diagnosis). My depression and anxiety have since receded back to steady state (which the psychologist described as, “ongoing, underlying, mild depression”).

My case is fairly typical in this regard.
The idea is that there has been something peculiar about you,
something psychologically strange or wrong about you, for some
time. However, none of the previous diagnoses you may have had
really make sense of what was and is happening to you. A diagnosis
of Asperger's syndrome/high-functioning autism just may make
sense of the situation.

i would assume it would be the norm for adults to get a dx due to comorbids in fact the 1 st gp I was with put me straight on disability and I didn't even have to tell him I was in break down mode

Before I was diagnosed, I thought I was a crazy actor who was simply playing the part of being normal,and wondered when the 'truth" would come out. I thought I was intellectually inferior to almost everyone, but that I had one savant trait, and that was that I was capable of portraying myself as near normal in IQ. Before I was diagnosed, it FELT like I truly cared about people, but I wondered if I was in denial. After all, if I cared about someone how could I possibly forget how they liked their eggs, what style of socks they preferred, or {EGADS!] their birthday. Before I was diagnosed, I tried so hard to fit in, to do things "the right way", but obviously I didn't try as hard as most other people, or I WOULD have figured it out.

It might be different for the younger people, but these were all huge reasons for being thankful for my diagnosis [ well, after that 'lack of empathy' myth was cleared up]

I am actively seeking a diagnosis, because taking in all the information I have over the last couple years has already felt like a huge weight off my chest. Symptom after symptom is immediately familiar, and when I joined WP and started reading the stories and experiences of others, I found myself in the exact same situations, wondering the exact same things, all my life.

As a kid I was always told how smart I was but friends, family and teachers, but it made it worse, because I was a mediocre student and always being reminded about, "how much potential I show" despite feeling as if I fail at everything. It didn't help that everyone seemed to act weird and inappropriate, but treated me as if I was the weird and inappropriate one.

I want a diagnosis, because if it is ASD, I can focus on improving myself using the criteria best suited for the condition, and if it isn't, I need to figure out what it is, because it isn't, "normal." My parents never bothered to get me tested, shrugging and saying that I probably have ADHD.

Gifted children often show signs that are highly likely tobe confused with those of ASD. The problems occur, because our school system takes hand of average and weak students. The gifted ones can take care of themselves, they think.
Nothing could be more wrong. Highli inteligent children have just as special needs as those below average, but nobody seems to care.
There are lots of highly gifted people in the street, between drug addicts and criminals.

Check out this:
http://mcgt.net/wp-content/uploads/2011 ... cklist.pdf

I know a a better one, but there seems to be a certificate problem with the site.

For me, it was:

The need for Vocational Rehab and SSI.
To clear up previous misdiagnoses.
Intellectual curiosity about ASDs. I have enough of the traits to warrant an evaluation, so why not use myself as a sort of guinea pig, go through the evaluation to see what it's like?
ASDs are made up of several components, none of which are necessarily readily apparent. Self-diagnosis can therefore be difficult and error-prone.

Ditto. Could not have explained it better myself. I am writing this as someone diagnosed in their late 30's who never suspected it at all until I stumbled upon it. Up until then, I had come to believe what everyone had told me thus far, I was half crazy and half mean.

I have no theory, but I can explain what I have been through in the last year and a half.

I started to study it because the people at school said my son needed to be assessed by a developmental neurologist. The neurologist diagnosed ASD/Aspergers and I did not believe it.

As I studied and discussed the issues with his teachers and paid more attention to aspects of his interactions with his friends, it became clear that they were correct. But the more I read about Aspergers and Autism, the more I recognized aspects of myself in the description.

And suddenly, I knew. And it was a profound shock.

I felt like Neo waking up in the "farm" in the Matrix. I spent a lot of time going through all my 47 years of memories, recognizing the way the signs of this neurology were completely woven through every part of my life.

The way I hated other children's birthday parties when I was kid, the sensory issues, the endless feeling of being in a slightly different reality, shut out from the party. The troubles at school, the motor skills issues, The anxiety and depression, The very weird testing, The many sessions with the specialist in fourth grade, practicing "eye contact." The sudden conflicts with friends that seemed to blow up out of nowhere. I could go on and on.

Then I started remembering specific things people said... and understood them in a new way.

The people at one job who were having a conversation while I was out at lunch, and when I came in suddenly cut the conversation off--but one of them said, "Some people really shouldn't have children."

Or the time another person responded to me when I said, " I used to think that everyone thought like me, but now I realize that most people don't think like me." She then said, very emphatically, "No! they really don't think like you."

That same person had tried to tell me on several occasions that she thought I had aspergers, in one of those conversations disclosing her own aspergers to me. I was blind to it. After my diagnosis, when all these things were churning through my mind, I had to call her to confirm my suspicions. She had suspected this about me for a decade! I had no clue!

How could this thing, so simple in nature, but so profound in consequence, be anything but riveting, fascinating and enthralling to me?

ASD has become a "special interest." I can't imagine how it could be otherwise.

It's like the adoption analogy and also a heredity issue. I think about that genealogy show "Who do you think you are?"

That is the deep question that all this put in the spotlight for me. And when I looked a little deeper, what I learned absolutely blew my mind.

I haven't packaged these experiences into a theory, but they are certainly an explanation, for me.

Does that make sense?

It does.
Another thing is.......many have tried this: You are in therapy for loooong periods, and they always end with:"You won´t let go, will you?" or "You seem to be very resistant to treatment" (desperate therapist).
It is important to know, so you don´t have to waste a lot of time and money trying to get rid of your "neurosis".

I think this is a very good answer well illustrated with examples. Also, I like your Matrix reference

Last edited by Gizalba on 26 Jan 2014, 2:51 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Yes, this has happened to me. Don't know if I have AS, but if I do, the explanation would be very valuable and would help me learn ways to manage who I am and make the most of who I am, rather than trying to 'recover' from who I am because my deficits in functioning have for a long time indicated to family, friends and myself that all my problems with living in this world are due to mental illness.

It does (make sense) to me. Thanks for sharing. Once you have packaged this into a theory, please do share.

the complaints people write about here look more like anxiety than asd dr tony atawood reckons "autism is anxiety looking for a target" his right

I am a 62 year old grandma, wife, retired, many things to many people but discovering I have Asperger's recently has been a huge relief to me. It explains so much. Explains why I always felt like I was on the outside looking in. Explains why I felt I had landed on the wrong planet from who knows where. Explains why I didn't seem to "get" the social secrets of relating that everyone else seemed to know. Explained my level of anxiety, stress, propensity for depression and rejection. I have had a successful life and happened to select jobs which suited me, On a social scale, not so much. On a first meeting, I could say all the right (practiced) things. Second meetings, forget it, unless I really clicked with someone and felt safe. Very rare. Everything was fine (with other people) when I was a people pleaser. Employers love us and so do friends for whom we would do anything just to fit in. Not the authentic self though. Didn't have to worry about any of this too much when I was busy, busy working and raising my family. It hit me between the eyes when I retired and moved to a different area. Wow - why couldn't I "connect?" I forced myself to engage, to be "productive" in socially acceptable ways and not be isolated. So hard. Not understanding what was wrong. I was - again - doing everything "right." I am on the path to getting diagnosed - hopefully. Took the first scary step of seeing my doctor today for a referral and actually said out loud "I think I might have Asperger's." I was one of the lucky ones. He neither judged nor criticized me but was sweet and accommodating. I have read with other Aspies it has not been so easy. Luckily, I have a neuropsychologist in my area who does this but it is expensive. Hoping insurance will cover part, but not really counting on it. Anyway, like I said, this has been such a huge relief knowing that I have done everything I could do and haven't been doing anything "wrong." A big step will be sharing with my husband. I'm not sure when or how. Strangely, or maybe not, he has some Aspie traits too. Thank you everyone for being here, for posting your thoughts for connecting here. It makes me feel like I do have a planet, maybe just not this one!