Any Aspies/High Functioning Autistics living on their own?

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im getting my own apt. in two or so months. Do you guys have any other tips for someone with aspergers moving out of their parents house? This will be my first time and I'm actually starting to get really nervous since it's so close to now.

I live on my own and stopped living with parents about 12 years ago - been on my own on and off ever since (currently on my own again).

At first it was tough (especially as I didn't even know that I was an Aspie and because I moved about 200 miles away to a strange place where I didn't know anybody) but once I managed to get a routine in place, things became easier. Moved since then to where I am now and routines have had to 'adapt', get altered etc. but having that kind of structure in place makes things a lot easier e.g. I know that on Sunday I have to do the housework, on Wednesday I go grocery shopping, blah, blah, blah. In fact in the past couple of years I've even been able to break routines and become slightly less structured (used to be that I would have the same meal on the same night of the week each week. Now though, as long as I plan things for the week ahead I'm fine with it - it's still a routine and a structure but it's more 'adaptable').

Only other things that I had to really get my head around was organising and paying bills (a lot easier once I got past my paranoia of direct debit, and having specific places for paperwork etc.) and making sure that I kind of 'governed myself' - all night Quake sessions (yes, it was that long ago) are great...but not when you have to drag your ass into work the next day . So, chores first, collapse and Wii/TV/internet afterwards.

Loneliness and isolation is another thing though

Been living on my own since I was kicked out of my parents' house just before my 16th birthday. Luckily, I was going to uni a month after I was kicked out, so I had a place already set for me. Living on my own was never as much of a challenge as I'd expected it'd be, but I have ALWAYS had trouble living with other people (despite having grown up in a crowded house) Living in that claustrophobic ROOM in uni with a roommate was one of the worst experiences of my life! I'm currently sharing a house with a NT friend of mine who, after having lived with her for about a year, is really no longer my friend. Hopefully this'll be changing soon, cos I'm going nuts. I can barely pick up after myself, I really can't stand having to do it for her as well....

I'm 40 and my family and BF both support me financially, even though I'm on SSDI and have a PT job. I also need a social worker and lots of support groups to get by.

I have had a pattern of making it on my own and falling flat on my face throughout my life.

However, I went to grad school on my own when I was 21. The problem was that I couldn't take care of myself.

I have lived on my own since 21, I lived in college dorms at first, then switched to living in apartments. I support myself right now with college loans, it also helps to get a girlfriend/wife who works =p

Does your husband know you need alone time from time to time? I think my need for periodic alone time was part of what caused my last gf to break up with me.

My need for alone time, as well as way more personal space than most people, makes it virtually impossible to live with someone else. I have NEVER (including now) been entirely happy and comfortable when not living alone.

^^^
RoisinDubh, what you just said above, I could've written that.

I visualize a 10 or 20 foot circle around me and if anyone comes into that area without my permission, it feels like my personal space has been violated. It works the other way around too. If I have to conduct some business which requires me to be within another's personal space, I feel like I'm intruding...it doesn't feel right to me, and I can't wait to get out of their space...it's a palpable feeling of not being where I need to be and of being somewhere I definitely should not be.

Fortunately I love living alone in my hermitude. If it became necessary to live with others, I would try to find a living situation with as many roomies as possible in spite of the constantly dirty dishes which no-one ever washes. And the bills that some people never pay their fair share of. The anonymity which a lot of roommates generally provides is an absolute necessity for me. I do like one on one relationships but not for anything serious. Anything serious would either be me alone or with a group of other people with whom I felt I could be myself. When a one on one gets too close, I feel suffocated. Literally. And living with 2, 3, or 4 people--no matter how well you know them--is the worst hell I could ever imagine.

I've shared, I've lived with a girlfriend, but have lived by myself for the last 8 years and have never been happier.

When I have relationships I think I almost subconsciously vet them to make sure they are independently self sufficient with regard to accommodation.

I’ve actual messed up relationships by collecting all of a girlfriends belongings from around the house and taken it back to hers. My thinking being that this was practical in case they needed something at short notice, again on reflection I think there was probably something subconsciously going on there. Needless to say this action hurt her feelings.

However, I still vote for living alone; people = grief.

I runaway or was taking away when I was 13 so I have learned to be independent from a young age. No doesnt give you any support. You go to one agency to the other. If some one likes you, that is good because in regards to self esteem that was my survival. Didn't have to opportunity to go to university or to finish junior high.

I am not saying I had it harder than any one else. In fact, I never been happier the day I left home.

I've lived alone most of my life, so far. Beginning with my first post in the Army - where I had a room to myself in the barracks. When I was later stationed in Belgium, I rented a house on my own.

When I left the army, I lived with my parents for about 6 months - until I couldn't take it anymore (my muscles were literally knotted up with stress - very painful!) I moved to the nearest big city, got an apartment, got a job - and have been here ever since (although I've changed apartments in the same building, from an efficiency to a 2-bedroom.)

I think I would be capable of living with someone else - as long as I had a room to myself, where I could decompress if things got too stressful.

Both of your posts, RoisinDubh and Alba, ring so true to me. I need acres of time and space to myself. After a day at work spent talking on the phone and to colleagues, I'm all tapped out. There is a woman at work who has no concept of personal space. If she has to look over my shoulder, she has this habit of leaning right over me. She gets so close her boobs poke me in the shoulder sometimes *shudder*.

My house is my oasis and unexpected phone calls or door knocks will often go unanswered - I resent the intrusion hugely. I am "off" to humanity once my front door closes.

I remember a couple of years ago, there was a run of about five weeks where there was something "social" happening every weekend that I couldn't get out of. By the end of it, I was frazzled. I booked a week off work and basically didn't leave the house. I needed to put myself back together - all that "social" stuff had left it's mark and the only way to repair it was to have a stack of time alone.

I moved out when I was 22 years old. I had a two year old daughter. My mom was scared that I wouldn't be able to take care of the two of us. This always seemed odd to me (I didn't suspect that I might have AS at this time). I did alright, but I borrowed a lot of money from student loans to finance my life. I was a "career" student because I could go to my office and read stuff..... I snapped and had to leave my PhD program because I felt really paranoid. After this, I moved back into my mom's house. At this time I was 30 and my daughter was about 10. I couldn't move out again because I couldn't make enough money to support us. I also have HUGE student loans. I worked teaching as an adjunct at a university off and on until I met my husband about five years ago. Since then, my mother has passed away. I remember at my mom's funeral having several people mention to me that my mom's greatest concern was "who will care for Whipstitches and her daughter" (obviously this is not my real name). She was apparently really relieved that I had married, but had never actually told me. I think she knew that life was really difficult for me and that I had a lot of "issues". I was out of the house, but my existence was totally artificial. The only thing that kept me going was my "subject of study" and the "solitude" of my office. I have only come to realize that there may be something "else" besides anxiety and depression. I think I have AS. I have a referal out for an assessment. Thank goodness that I have my husband. I don't know what I would do without him because I don't really know if I could manage on my own or not.

I have been living on my own since i was 18. now that i am 34 and have been living on my own for the past 16 or so years.

I live with 3 roomates

I live alone, and have been since I was 18. Everybody thought I was "normal", even if a bit weird sometimes, so I have been treated that way all my life.