The Married Aspie Cafe Thread (discussion of marriage, etc.)

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Not at all. I find all the stories fascinating as I always thought I was the only one and that my husband was the only OCD man stuck with such a strange wife. LOL But now I read about more and more of us. I love to read about all the different ways we found to make it work, whether we all had children, what we did with our own lives. It's great!

I think you did a good job of finding your way through and so did he. You did well with your children despite everything, including your own challenges. I'm not sorry at all to read about that. I'm quite happy. I'll look for that book. Thanks!


Oh and I do remember Jesus People! Took me right back.

I'm married 3 years in June to a wonderful man who's more than likely at least slightly Aspie, though he's taught himself to cope. Either that or he just has a lot of Aspie traits.

He's wonderful, though, with me and my son (from a previous marriage), and we've gotten to the point where we can literally talk about anything, and since learning what Aspie /really/ means, as opposed to the vanity self-diagnosis going around the US, we've had some really amazing understandings happen. He's fully supportive of me, including my depression, and is a wonderful stepfather.

I just wish we had more money so I could get my own computer and we could stop fighting over who gets to use this one.

I have been married 17 years to a very understanding wife. (She has to be to have put up with me all these years!) Our marriage was heading down-hill fast, but then my wife starting talking to my mother and especially my sister, who has a daughter with Asperger's. All these years she thought I knew that I had Asperger's but did not think it important enought to tell her. Meanwhile I had no idea what was wrong with me. The only thing I knew is that I did not know how to let her understand how much I love her, and how much she means to me. Now that I have a name for my problem, things are going much better with our relationship, and the future looks bright! All I can say is that I would have found it very difficult to have gotten through life without my wife.

I find the stories on here fascinating and am so glad I decided to give up my fear of strangers in cyberspace. I have been married to my AS husband for 4 years and been with him for 9 years. We have a 6 year old girl and he chose to be step-dad to my 3 boys ( 2 with AS and one extremely social, cuddly, excitable NT). We didn't know he was AS when we met at a computer academy. I just thought he was refreshingly old fashioned and was so glad that he thought it was cool that my idea of a perfect date involved a solitary walk in the park or going to the library.I have social anxiety and ADHD so the social part binds together. His AS keeps me grounded and my ADD keeps him from sinking completely into himself. The bills get paid and the chores get done because he won't let me forget about them and he has learned to be a little more flexible and have some fun (within his capability of course). My NT friends tell me he needs to pay more attention to me but considering that I don't like to be hugged and cuddled and I think flowers are a waste of money ( watching them die is depressing) I think I'm far luckier than they ever will be. He also is in perfect sync with my AS teenage sons and finds my NT son quite amusing. Our daughter is a challenge because she has ADHD like me and doesn't get that Daddy isn't really good at dropping his current activity for the park but he is very accomodating of her. Wow! I didn't realize just how much I like my husband It's not all perfect but I wouldn't trade him for anyone alse!!

Welcome new folks, and bravo! It is very encouraging to read your stories of acceptance and problem solving. You all show a positive attitude and I think that is the most important thing in an aspie/NT relationship.

Glad to see so many Married Aspies here ! ! Welcome to all of you ! !!

And you thought there wouldn't be many of them...

I guess I'm a bit of a skeptic, aren't I ???

Well, if all NT's had to put up with the likes of you....

They'd wot ?? Run screaming into the night??? Start drinking Cointreau at 9am?
Develop a nervous twitch ??

Do finish yer sentences, luv.

I think I pushed the right button this time....

Hi--I'm married 17 years to a strong NT lady who tries to understand (w/ lots of marriage counseling). She's seems lots happier now that she doesn't feel like she has to "fix" me anymore (at least that's why I like to think she is laughs more...).

I'm 25. I've been married to a accused NT for two years and we have a one-year-old son. I love my wife dearly. She has taught me to take chances.

I met her two and a half years ago through a mutual friend, for the next three weeks we spent every available second together. Spring break rolled around and we decided to take a weekend trip to my uncle's in Utah. When we pulled in to Logan, Utah, we decided that we were already half-way to Vegas so we went.

Various "good omens" later, we ended up getting married in a small chapel off the Vegas strip and we lived happily ever after, so far. Our son is beautiful and our relationship is perfect. She is very verbal with her emotions so I don't have to spend a lot of time puzzling out her facial expressions. She is patient and loving and encourages my quirkiness. We've started a band together and with her help, I feel like we can change the world.

Jack - do you live in UT?

I'm not in Utah...I'm in Montana.

Ah, that's sort of close... I'm in UT.

Where in Utah? I have family all over down there. I'm in SW MT.