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Dylanperr
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29 Jan 2019, 2:11 am

livingwithautism wrote:
I've never considered having children. I'm not interested and I don't like children.

Me to.



Social_Fantom
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04 Feb 2019, 2:17 am

^ Same

But my biggest reason for not wanting any is that my children would have a very real chance of being like I was as a child, and am as an adult, it's an act of love to not put them through that IMO. I would rather adopt, give a child that is already alive a home, and not tribute to the overpopulation of the world by having any of my own.


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nick007
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04 Feb 2019, 7:58 am

I do not want kids because I never even liked kids when I was a kid. Me & my girlfriend both have aLOT of disabilities & we can barely take care of ourselves with lots of help from the government so I really do NOT feel we are capable of taking care of a kid.


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gsilver
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10 Feb 2019, 7:52 pm

Part of me really wants to, and part of me thinks that it would be immoral. There's too much genetic predisposition to autism, depression, and other mental illness. If I had a kid that suffered from any of the above, I'd feel like I was to blame for every bit of suffering that they went through.

...but given that no one of the opposite sex is interested enough in me to even bother to reply to a message on a dating site, I don't have to worry about that any time soon.



nick007
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10 Feb 2019, 8:39 pm

gsilver wrote:
Part of me really wants to, and part of me thinks that it would be immoral. There's too much genetic predisposition to autism, depression, and other mental illness. If I had a kid that suffered from any of the above, I'd feel like I was to blame for every bit of suffering that they went through.

...but given that no one of the opposite sex is interested enough in me to even bother to reply to a message on a dating site, I don't have to worry about that any time soon.
You could adopt but I'd imagin it's much harder for a single guy to adopt than for a couple in a committed relationship.


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11 Feb 2019, 12:53 am

I did, immensely. Somewhere in middle school it hit me that if I had kids they might turn out like me (I did not know I had Aspergers then) and that filled me with grief and guilt. Of course then occurred to me that I would probably be alone my whole life so it didn't matter, heh.

Now I suppose I'm on the fence. There's a part of me that still would like to have children but there's more than a few complications for that. My relationship status/history, worries of my ability, worries of genetics, and it really seems irresponsible to bring more children into this -not so nice- world, onto a dying planet.


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yogiB1
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11 Feb 2019, 6:26 am

No. I don’t like kids.


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Dylanperr
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16 Feb 2019, 2:27 am

Don't know.



Kenya
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17 Feb 2019, 11:06 pm

I'd like to have children at some point in my life. I believe this mostly stems from a desire to continue my lineage, especially having a son to carry on the family name. At 27 years of age, though, I'm starting to worry that that day might not ever come.



Sandpiper
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18 Feb 2019, 3:36 am

I've never wanted children. I don't think I have ever had the skills or personal resources needed to look after someone who would be totally dependent on me. I have enough trouble looking after myself sometimes. In any case I decided when I was quite young that the world was already overpopulated enough without me adding to it.


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22 Feb 2019, 11:54 pm

No. I made up my mind at four years old I was never going to have children. I haven't changed my mind since and ended up needing to have a hysterectomy because my periods were making me anemic. Everyone was like "You will regret this when you are older!" I never have regretted it. I don't think I could honestly bond with a child. Thankfully, my boyfriend doesn't want children either. We have considered possibly adopting a teenager from foster care but most likely the closest thing we will do involving children is sponsor a child in a third world country.


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Farunel
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25 Feb 2019, 11:47 pm

I'm torn. I was convinced up until a year and a half ago that I'd never have the desire for it. But then I met somebody, and it started to sound appealing... He's gone now. But that feeling still lingers. I'm fairly maternal. But again, I am torn.

I value my freedom, the lack of that level of responsibility. There's enough people in the world already, we don't need more. But at the same time, there's that urge in the back of my mind, and we only have this one lifetime. I already told myself I want to experience as much as I can in my lifetime. And that is an extremely important aspect, and life changing for so many. I almost don't want to miss out, if that makes any sense. But I have time to decide. I'm in no rush.



Joe90
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03 Mar 2019, 8:26 pm

I do want children, even just one. But there are a few things that are putting me off.
First it's my phobia of vomiting. A lot of women experience morning sickness, and other ailments too, and you have to be careful with what drugs you take to stop it, because various drugs could harm the baby. And it's not only that. When the child starts preschool and mixes with other children, they often pick up bugs like norovirus, and I have a terrible fear and anxiety of norovirus, because of a past traumatic experience I've had with it. I got stressed when I worked at a care home and had to leave my job because of it. I think the 24-hour bug is rather preventable for healthy adults if they wash their hands, but norovirus is an aggressive bug, and I've learnt that no matter how hygienic you are, even if you wear a mask, you still have a high risk of catching it if you are directly around people with it. My mum said that when my brother was 2 he got a norovirus and was throwing up for a whole week, with diarrhoea and all, and both my mum and dad caught it - and even the cat was being sick too! That bug must have been a strong and aggressive Motherf***er, and small children manage to pick these up all the time.

Secondly, me and my brother have an ASD, and the gene that carries ASD is as aggressive as the norovirus, and has a 50-50 chance of being passed down to your children if it is in your family and especially if you have it as a parent. After all the emotional pain and stress I put my mum through growing up with behavioural and emotional issues due to my ASD and ADHD, I don't think I would want to have to go through it all myself. Not only me, but I also don't want my child to have to suffer being different and difficult either. I'd rather have a child with no mental or physical disabilities, where they reach all their milestones normally and go through school without requiring special needs, and is a normal, happy child with lots of friends and going to birthday parties, and being able to bond with me and say "I love you". I know NT children grow into self-righteous teenagers and some can get into drugs, but then children with disabilities can too. Some autistic teens hate social isolation so much that they turn to drugs to either self-harm, cope with their difficulties, or to fit in. As a parent you can't control everything your child does, but if you bring an NT child up well, chances are they may become happy teens and not choose the drug road. But a lot of teens on the spectrum can become angry because of bullying or social rejection or other factors that are beyond your control as a parent, and decide to turn to drugs or some other illegal habit, or even fall into the wrong crowd and be vulnerably led into danger.


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shortfatbalduglyman
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03 Mar 2019, 8:31 pm

Children take time, money and energy

Bad genes

Overpopulation

Anyways I am 35 years old postmenopausal



ezbzbfcg2
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03 Mar 2019, 8:40 pm

shortfatbalduglyman wrote:
Children take time, money and energy

Bad genes

Overpopulation

Anyways I am 35 years old postmenopausal


I don't get the joke.



valarmorghulis
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06 Mar 2019, 11:34 am

I did but I have missed my chance. I'm 35 and single. I never had a relationship stable enough to even think of it really. Maybe it's better this way, after all. I have so many restrictions that it would have been very difficult.