Miscarriage

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Anyone here ever had a miscarriage? How well did you take it?

I think I am taking it well, I was sad but I didn't cry. I just found out today when I went in for my prenatal check up and there was no baby and only the sack still but it was bigger. Then I went in for a another ultra sound to see if it's a miscarriage or if we are a month off in my pregnancy and it was a miscarriage just as I thought. But my husband cried though but he still went to work. I just didn't want to talk about it. We'll just try again and hopefully the next one will succeed and hopefully it won't take us years to get pregnant. I think I'm still going to keep eating healthy. It's not that expensive where I shop.

I am so sorry. I'm glad you are looking to the future though. Take your time.

oh, Calico. . I am so sorry. I have miscarried and I know, I know, I know.
I feel for you and your husband. Rest up and take care of yourself.

I'm so sorry. Feel better.

Regards,

Patricia

Well, the good news is that I don't think it should take you years to have a baby. You haven't been married that long and you already had one conception, so that is a good sign! It means there is likely nothing wrong with you or your husband's ability to concieve. It is common for young women to miscarry the first conception.

Good luck!

Best wishes. Hopefully sometime soon you will be holding a smiling baby boy or girl in your arms. When you do, your life will change forever.

I have two children. I remember the first one being born as it was yesterday. She is 14 now. I remember going through the whole nine months, the delivery, and everything went just as planned. I could barely believe that we were so lucky as to get to bring home such a beautful little girl. Everything was perfect with the world. We got her home, fed, and then tucked into her shiny new crib. She fell asleep, and we went blissfully to bed with smiles on our faces.

About 2 in the morning I heard this frantic cry coming from the babies room. I jumped up, heart pounding & ran in there. She was just hungry. That's all. She was just hungry. But that cry in the middle of that first night changed my life forever. I could no longer think of selfish things. Someone very small was counting on me to be there to help her. Not just that first night, but for the rest of her life. I was a dad. I had an almost unfathomable responsibilty to try & do my best to give my child the best life I could and to help her grow into a decent, balanced, self sustaining adult. My life had changed forever. It was both exilerating and terrifying. It hasn't always been easy but I wouldn't change any of it even if I could.

Things will happen for you at the pace they are meant to happen. I know that sounds corny & is not terribly comforting at this time but it's true. As others have said, it's very common to have a miscarriage, especially if it is your first time being pregnant. Hang in there, another day will come & one day this will be but a distaint memory.

I've had 3 0n record, but had a couple more that I had no insurance and wasn't that far along on. My family were supportive to a point but they had the attitude that "Oh well, life goes on and a lot of women have them." We do have an RH- factor in our family and have had our share of them. I personally was not encouraged to grieve over mine and thought I was doing okay but one day all of a sudden I was grieving and realised what I was grieving about and did go ahead and grieve for each baby that i knew I'd lost.
One thing I would suggest to you is that "should" it happen again have the drs run test and do not except the thing of "Well, it's just your body taking care of something that wasn't right....." I did go ahead and carry 2 children, the oldest turned 31 on the 9th........oh my!! But had to have help to be able to carry them by having a shot every week for the first 3 months of being PG. Both kids were just fine but my body just had trouble carrying them.

Please feel free to contact me should you need to talk further......

I am sorry for your loss.

Hey there Spokane_Girl, that's gotta be hard for a woman - sorry

Bubbybird up there is my wife, the babies lost were fathered by her ex, not me, so I haven't been through the loss of children. But I've seen her grief.
Spokane_Girl, do take her up on the invitation to talk to her if ya need to, Bubbybird is a good gal to talk to - about lots of things.

SG, is your hubby an aspie himself by any chance? Aspie + Aspie = a real tough time carrying babies to term and/or a really sickly/severely ASD child when you do carry one to term. My mom's family has a history of ASD, and my dad is schizophrenic, a related disorder, and my mom had a horrifying pregnancy with me, and when I did come out I was blue and couldn't keep food down, and ultimately developed an ASD. Then three years later she miscarried. After that her doctor told her that she couldn't have another child and live to tell the tale, so she went on the pill. You will eventually have a child, but you need to be happy with one, people will pressure you to have two or three but it's not worth your life. And you need to be prepared to have an ASD child, and if your hubby is aspie too there's a good chance of having a Kanner autie.

I am sorry to hear that you have lost your baby, I hope that things work out OK for you in the end.

pezar:


Although there is a higher risk for ASD's when one or both parents are autistic, the risk is still only a couple of percent, so don't stress people out when it's unwarranted. As far as miscarrying goes I've never heard any research whatsoever that supports the idea that autistic people are more likely to miscarry, why would they be?

spokane girl: I haven't miscarried myself, but during my first pregnancy I was in a lot of fear of death generally. However, in your case nobody really died? From what I understood from your post, you had one of those pregnancies where your body shows all the signs but there's no featus? I would still expect that you're sad, because I think most women start building hopes and dreams on that new feeling in their body and I imagine there's a terrible feeling of emptiness. Maybe I misunderstood you. In either case, I'm sorry for your loss. Your time will come and the arrival of your baby will spur you to heights you never imagined. There's something about the absolute innocence and complete dependence of your first baby that makes you rise above a lot of your problems. Not that you stop having problems, but they're put into a new perspective. And you will be astounded at your own capacity for love. It is a truly life-alteirng experience. Good luck!

No he isn't aspie but he relates to it. He just has brain damage so parts of his brain is dead so that's why he has problems. You can't inherit that because it's damage, not genetic.

I thought I saw a fetus because it looked like a bow and my doctor said I looked seven eeks pregnant but he sent to to another ultra sound at another hospital to see if it's a miscarriage or if we are a month behind. But I knew it was a miscarriage because one, I lost my pregnancy symptoms and one of them was I stopped feeling fatigue and my sore breasts went away, and I felt normal again despite that I had more veins sticking out and no period and my boobs were a little bigger and I swore my tummy was a little bigger but that was probably the guts because my uterus pushed them up. But the doctor that checked the ultra sounds said there was no egg so maybe it never developed so I don't know what I saw in the ultra sound at my health clinic that looked like a bow. My husband said that was what was left. Maybe it was the platima? Also I had my ultra sound when I was six weeks pregnant so I knew it was a miscarriage. The sack was bigger when I had it again. My mom thinks it might have been the birth control and I got pregnant too soon after I got off it and my body wasn't adjusted back to it's normal self or there was something wrong with the egg so my body didn't develop it. At least I wasn't cramping and all.

I also found out all my mom's sisters except one all had miscarriages. My mom had one too due to her uterus being too stretched out after having my brother and it couldn't hold the egg so it got rid of it and everything came out. She was six weeks pregnant and she had to see the doctor to make sure everything was out of there.

I told my mother I would rather have a miscarriage than a severely deformed child. Those things are rare when it happens because for some reason the body doesn't stop the pregnancy.

So maybe I had a false pregnancy if there was no egg? It may have gotten fertilized but it never developed.

Another thought for you is that there are some ladies who's bodies absorb the babies back into the body......one week they are Pg but the next they aren't. I had a good friend who experienced that several times......so they adopted kids.

I wish we could adopt but it's so expensive. I assume adopting a child, you have to pay monthly for the adoption as months go by and it's like having a new car. I'd rather have my own child so I won't have to make monthly payments for the adoption and I have less money for my child such as food and clothing and stuff. But adopting a foster child is cheap because it costs several thousand dollars but most foster kids have lot of problems that be hard to fix because they came from homes where they were abused or neglected or they feel unwanted because they went from foster home to foster home or people who have wanted to adopt them in the past decided to them back so they think "why bother being good, they are going to get rid of me anyway so why behave?"
That's why everyone wants a baby and I hear it's very hard to adopt a baby from foster care because everyone wants one. They want a kid they can screw up on their own.


Yeah it's possible my body might have absorbed the egg. I wonder why that happens to some women? I can ask my doctor that when I go in on Monday. But my body still thinks I'm pregnant because no period and my uterus never cleaned itself out.