It's pretty damn obvious that I don't want children, but...

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Whenever someone brings a baby around, Mother-In-Law starts making all these jokes to me saying, "You're not ready for a baby yet!", "Your clock may be ticking, but you have plenty of time."

But the the thing is, I never mentioned anything to her about wanting babies, and in fact made it very clear that I do not even really want children.
I don't go gaga over babies like all the other females. I don't play with the baby, coo at it, make faces at it, or want to hold it.

I only approach the baby due to my curiosity. I analyze its facial expressions, the strange sounds it makes, and its involuntary movements. However, in the process of analyzing it, I tend to make it upset and it starts to cry.
Then I quickly back away.

But Mother-In-Law still goes around saying, "If you stay near him too long, you will start to want a baby!"

Uhh, by that same logic, if I hang around dogs alot, I will want dogs. I LIVE in the same house with two dogs, and I still DO NOT want dogs when I get my own house.
I LIVE in the same house with 12 year old little-brother-in-law. I still do not want a 12 year old little boy.


Why does Mother-In-Law keep saying these unnecessary things? Is it possible that she wants to be a Grandmother and is trying to use reverse psychology or something?

Her actions do not make sense to me.

She wants grandchildren..simple

Yes. She had children, and expects that everyone else wants to have children too.

Personally, I always found these kind of comments to be the irritating unthinking cliche that people trot out when they have nothing else to say. But instead of saying nothing they feel they have to fill the silence with something fatuous.

Oh, okay. So it's just that useless smalltalk, albeit in a very annoying form.

She's probably hoping it will come true as well. Don't let her sway you.

I was 100% against having kids when I was 18. I'm the grand age of 21 now and I'm not as dead-set against them; they do seem to have a greater 'aw' factor than before. I really hope I don't start getting mushy over them by the time I'm 30 (although I guess it would be worse at 50, when it's too late).

I'm not an easily swayed person. Actually, her statements actually make me want kids less and less.
Kids make people crazy.
She did say that I shouldn't have children yet, after all.

I take joy in taking people's words literally.
I think it's extremely stupid to try to convince me to want kids by telling me to not want kids.

People are pushing me too, I do not even have a girl friend yet. But they are already asking about them.

I had a funny situation a few weeks ago. On my volunteer work I was working around with the baby of a fellow leader, holding her and looking at some animals... then some long ago 'friends' came onto the terrain and saw me walking around with the baby. They were congratulating me on "my daughter". Luckily the mother came to explain it.

Last edited by Asterisp on 24 Jun 2009, 4:23 pm, edited 1 time in total.

There are more puzzling attitudes in the females of the world, are there not? I have boggled before about the phrase, "I always wanted to be a mother." I thought it was rare but I hear it all over! Like, seriously, always? There wasn't a time when that was the farthest thing from your mind, ladies, say in childhood somewhere? Isn't that weird?

I never wanted children, but I wasn't necessarily dead set against them, either. There was always this nagging, "I don't want to miss this experience," running in my head. So had had 'em. I don't regret it, much. I mean, that I wonder about my competence often. But when they were babies, yeah, some chemical kicked in and woke a maternal instinct that I had previously lacked. Thank goodness. I wish that was guaranteed to happen. It helps. Before that, yeah, babies just creeped me out. And I'm here to tell you, having my own did not make the children of other people one bit less obnoxious.

So there you go. Aspie womanhood in all its forms. Don't want kids, kinda want kids, like my kids but not yours.... What's irritating is the NT way of assuming that you want what they want because your sex organs match.

You're 18 years old. I didn't want kids either when I was 18, and that's the way it's supposed to be. It's only in the most recent few years that I've developed nurturing tendencies that might point toward the possibility of a girlfriend, let alone kids.

Lots of people who have children say they were all accidents, happening during 1 week of believing they were ready to be parents and then backing off on that belief. "Accidents" of this sort are one of those illogical things people do because proficiency at not passing on one's genes doesn't make it into the next generation. Accidents never happen.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3yZZK_vCJeA&feature=channel_page[/youtube]

The problem is not that I don't wanna have kids.

It's that I've made it clear that I don't want kids but Mother-In-law still keeps saying, "You're not ready for kids! Don't have kids yet!"

I say, "I won't!", but she still keeps saying "Don't!"

Like, geez mom, you can shut up already. Why is she so damned adamant about telling me to not want kids when I've made it clear I already don't want kids, and she doesn't have to instruct me to not want them?

It's like telling a nude person in a swimming pool on a hot day to, "Try and stay cool."

It makes no sense.

she's just a nag. they never change.

I read this another way. Suppose your mother-in-law doesn't like you and is hoping that her son will dump you before you complicate the matter by having kids?

Hmm, I can see how you would interpret that..
But she and I do actually have a pretty good relationship. She tells me she loves me just like a daughter.

I guess she is just making useless smalltalk, or is just being an unnecessary nag. Ehh.

I think I will directly confront the problem if this happens again. That should end it.

Or it's reverse psychology. If she argues that you should have kids, then you'll react against it and not have them. I think she wants you to have kids, and she's telling you not to so that you understand you're free to choose and that you are not locked into anything, thereby increasing the likelihood that you'll actually decide to have kids later.