Absolutely Exhausted

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Well I just can't seem to do anything right, a fortnight ago I paid $500 into the wrong account for my rent because I missread the last digit on the account number and now I owe $1000. Just before that I recieved a government welfare bill for being overpaid $509, because I miss read my fortnightly assistance forms and put in the wrong amount of income. I have applied for dissability pension twice and been knocked back. I have 2 kids in 50% shared care with my X wife, my son is Autistic. I have bills for electricity, car insurance and registration, rent, and phone. I can't find any agency that actually wants to help me even though I'm diagnosed AS.

I'm really nearing the end of my tether, I just can't keep up the sustained effort, day in day out, bombarded by beaurocratic paperwork, kids schools, shopping, work, bills, relationship problems, general stress, thoughts crowding my head. I try to find some solace in talking to like minded people on this site, but usually end up feeling more depressed by hearing everyone elses problems. I do care about other people and thats why it depresses me to find so many people seeking to get some sort of help for their problems.

Everytime I feel as though I'm actually making some sort of headway in life, I make a stupid mistake like those mentioned above. That I'm sure is not the first or will be the last time I make that kind of mistake, I'm just under so much pressure that mistakes become easier to make.

Right about now, I feel like I'd like to phone some sort of crisis line. I really feel like sh*%

I'm sorry to hear about your plight. It really sounds like things are piling up on you.

I don't have any magic advice. Perhaps you could break your daily challenges down into steps and try to experience the satisfaction of completing each one. I know this is not always possible. But too much multi-tasking can make anyone's head spin.

Is there a help line for you to call? You might try that. I've called them in the past and found them to be limited but very much better than not talking to anyone at all.

Hang in there and please keep us posted.

Jim

[quote]Well I just can't seem to do anything right, a fortnight ago I paid $500 into the wrong account for my rent because I missread the last digit on the account number .

I am sure the Bank can help u there by looking into it to which account the 500$ went.
U must have some receipt or something on record......

Hopefully this doesn't sound crazy or, worse yet, like a cop out. But, I find that darkness, solitude, and (if possible) sleep are the best things when I have several things go wrong in succession like you have.

I think that AS brains do get completely exhausted from this kind of "crap"... more so than non-AS brains. We have to work much harder to process all of the details surrounding problems like this, to cope with the various emotions that arise as a result, and to deal with, dare I say it, the "lack of empathy" demonstrated by others (like those working at the gov't agencies you mentioned) who don't experience the same sense of mental exhaustion in these situations.

So back to my coping mechanism, it seems like by reducing sensory inputs (finding darkness and quiet) and, better yet, shutting off my conscious brain, I can restore my state of mind to something more positive. I also seem to awake with new solutions that I hadn't thought about before.

I think it is worth a try if you can find a dark, quiet place and (ideally) if you can get a little bit of sleep before trying to deal with these issues again.

Best of luck to you... Keep your chin up.

Thanks for your replies, I have just been to the bank today and to my relief the account I sent the $500 to did not exist and the money was returned to my account. So thats one bad situation turned good and I feel a lot better. I did have a decent sleep last night as well.

*respect for a fellow bill paying American man

it's ok. the economy is pretty bad, but there are still jobs out there, especially for guys. maybe u can find spots to cut down the budget and minimize the losses. maybe some work will come ur way. keep looking. everyone has bills to pay, and it really sucks. u r at a stage many aspies will never get to though as so many live at home and never have sex or pay bills. so yea, u have many strengths, just what u've got to do ur best? set small goals and take small steps. verbalize ur fears and frustrations on the forums. that's my recipe anyway

Hang in there!

Do you make lists? Making lists helps me get the things done that I would otherwise forget. i rank the things and do them in that order. Sometimes it just creates an illusion of order, but feels better. BTW, people who are considered NT forget stuff and make the same kinds of mistakes you are talking about too. Don't be too hard on yourself.

Great suggestions for this problem, though I see it among NTs.

I keep a strict "low stimuli" lifestyle, from blackout shades over my windows to proactive sleep hygiene, and a small apartment that is by most people's standard's unfurnished (it makes a Vulcan's home seem cluttered by comparison). That helps substantially.

Another trick is KISS (keep it super simple). I have one credit card, one bank account, and so forth, so the probability of error is greatly reduced.

I'm impressed by and admire your achievements in your life. Home, marriage, children. That is all well beyond my capabilities. The simple matter of owning a car is about my limit.

To add to the suggestions above, I'd recommend using software to remind you to pay bills and accomplish other tasks. My address books, even Gmail, now support calendars, tasks, and reminder alarms. A cell or PDA can also perform these tasks. Finally, can you automate monthly payments? I do that to further reduce my error rate.