What are late 30's early 40's women suppose to be like?

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Maybe it sounds strange to ask but I wonder what other people my age are like. I don't know anyone my age aside from my former supervisor who is about 6 months younger than me. But I'm quite sure he is immature for his age not to mention he's an undiagnosed Aspie so he probably doesn't have a clue either.

I never meet other people in town my age, they are always in twenties or in 50-60's. So I wonder how I should dress, how I should act, what interests do people my age have. Well except I know many my age are busying raising kids but other than that I don't know what they do with themselves. I've pretty much given up t-shirts and hoodies for sweaters and blouses. Its hard to find clothes that fit me though because I'm so short and weird shaped. I just want to come off as mature or at least looking like my age so I will be treated with more respect. But I don't know what others look like my age because I don't know anyone. I think we were a small generation. Perhaps I'm going through the middle-age crisis I've heard about.

You start to notice that some clothes look too 'young' for you, like jeans, so you start dressing differently. You find out how uncomfortable 'young' clothing was anyway. I stopped wearing my hair out as it went all weird and coarse at that age, think it was hormones or something. I just tie it in a pony tail. I stopped wearing any make up or jewellery (never wore much anyway) as I'd had a couple of guys become obsessed with me. I had a lot of young guys 'coming on' to me too, with their "Mrs Robinson" (older woman) fantasies, so I went for a daggy, baggy, drab kind of look.

Interests...hmm I found my memory for names deteriorated so the names of bands and songs escaped me and I stopped following who was who in popular music. I started to need reading glasses in my 40's so I found reading unpleasant, although I've picked it up again lately. I stopped renting and bought a house, so fixing it up and doing the garden kept me occupied.

Well I'm not quite there yet, but I do wonder about the same things.
I decided since I've never really cared about style anyway, to just wear anything that I like, and is comfortable. So what if I'm not fashionable? I never have been anyway.

It's not about being fashionable. Its about being taken seriously as a mature adult. I used to work at a super casual place amongst mainly college kids so I adopted the jeans and t-shirt and hoodie fashion because that's what everyone else wore. Plus the hoodies are warm in snowy weather, quite suitable for here.

But it suddenly dawned on me, you know how it is that Aspies don't necessarily realize things quickly that perhaps are obvious to others. Well it occurred to me that I was dressing immaturely for my age, though was not quite sure since I don't know anyone my age. The only friend in my age range is a 32 yr old so that's not exactly close. Or a friend that is 44 but she wears only Big Dogs tees because of size, etc.

I have to wear hiking shoes in winter due to my clumsiness trying to walk on snow and ice in casual shoes or even sneakers. So the only thing that looks right with hiking shoes is jeans. So I suppose sweaters and cardigans with jeans is what I will wear till warmer weather. Maybe it would help to met other people my age but where are they?

I just wanted to reinterate the reasoning is as we get older its nice to be taken seriously. As an innocent Aspie who is petite and always looked younger than I was I dislike the way we are treated like children because of being Aspie. And I notice AS people generally dress badly. So I want to do something to at least give a more mature first impression. Once I open my mouth it becomes entirely different though!

It's not the clothes, no, it's not really a clothes thing. It's a persona you have to project. You can wear the rattiest old jeans and a sweat, and if you can project the persona, people will follow your lead. It's a personal bearing, a command presence, a maturity factor, an intangible. I can identify it in others and though I don't think I'm doing it I'm told I am. I think it's a communication/bearing style kinda thing.

I had a supervisor who was well into her sixties. She wore the same clothes her teenage stepdaughter wore and had her face lasered off, lifted, and puffed at regular intervals. She was still the boss. Even though laughed at behind her back by a lot of people for all the "work" she'd had done, she was still in charge. She was a very nice NT woman, but very insecure. That sort of negated her presence in every environment other than the office, though.

As to today's fashions, even young women do not look good with their butt fat hanging out over the top of their low-cut jeans. And nobody really wants to look at anyone's boobs on a regular basis - we've all seen 'em - except maybe teenage males (and those older men who never outgrew that...)

Still though you don't see older women being respected that wear kids Vans sneakers, the low rider pants with butt hanging out, ball caps and talk like teens calling everyone dude. I know a few like that.

You can say the same of young men who want to be respected at work. They don't wear cargo pants and baggy polos but instead pressed slacks and business shirt then they get treated with much respect despite their youth and inexperience.

I just can't do the women's business suit thing because I don't make enough money to dress like that nor do I want to project myself that much. You know what one thing that helped wake me up was seeing a former psych's notes that described me as dressing "extremely casual". So I think the tee shirts have to go.

interesting

A woman is not interesting until she is 35

IMHO you could wear tees with a scoop neck (not a crew) - like this

which is more feminine, esp with some sort of necklace. Don't dress too gender neutral (cargo pants, regular tees).

But I don't know how you would deal with winter weather in something like that A cold winter's day here is 50F

Selective vision at work here?

A number of years ago, maybe it was a decade ago, I noticed that a many of the 'conservative' women's shops in the malls began to disappear. One I especially liked was called something like 'Country Casuals', maybe they are still in business in other areas but not here anymore. I thought their fashion line was very smart and stylish for women of any age who wanted to look good in what I call a 'natural' sort of way. I can't really describe it much better.

Gary was Country Casuals kinda like LL Bean and Lands End clothing? I have some of their items. Sweaters and slacks mostly.

Its hard to know what to dress like because of number of women here wear Carhart duck pants in winter, dress like Professor Trelawney in Harry Potter movies (I'm serious we got a lot of old hippies out here) or they dress in the Mexican chicka style which I refer to as the hoochy-mama style. None of which I want to dress like. I suppose I will just do the Lands End preppie style and hope it comes across at least a little better than I formally dressed. I did just order some Merrell Jungle Mocs in hopes would still be a warm shoe but not so butch as my Columbia hiking shoes which I have had to wear this winter with all the snow, ice and sleet crap. And yes I am a little disgruntled with winter.

I have no freakin' clue. I turned 40 a few months ago, usually dress like something out of the 40s or 50s, had 2-tone hair till the firm I work for threatened my job over it, and love tattoos and piercings. My entire life people have told me I dress and act either too old or too young. Most often, these days, NTs in my age range tell me I'm lucky I look as young as I do naturally or I'd never be able to 'get away with it'. I don't think there's anything to get away with. I'm a bit more toned-down at work (I'm an attorney in a pretty big, very stuffy firm), but on my off time, I do what makes me comfortable. Style and tastes are just part of who you are, regardless of your age. If it's not hurting you or anyone else, it's not a problem.

Casual Corner? There used to be a store in northern CA called Casual Corner. They haven't been in business for a LONG time. It seems that in the last decade clothing was all about pizazz and overt sexuality, especially among females. Somebody mentioned the hoochie mama look which all teen girls and young adult females do nowadays, they wear very low cut, very tight jeans and tops which really accentuate their breasts. Even if no cleavage is showing, they'll wear tees and sweaters in such a way that your eye is immediately drawn to their boobs. It seems that back in my high school days, in the early 90s, that was how sluts dressed. Now every girl dresses that way, even girls who are 14 and 15, way too young to be thinking of themselves as sex objects IMO.

I was reading a tabloid article about whether the stars of the remake of the US TV show Beverly Hills 90210 (a primetime soap for young adults and teens) are too thin, and they put cast pics of the old cast (c 1993) and the new cast side by side, and what I noticed was how they were dressed. The 1993 cast was dressed very casually, polo shirts and jeans and low key blouses for girls. The 2008 cast is dressed in very flashy clothes, they look much less real and more cartoonish.

It's clear that the culture has changed quite a bit in just the 15 years I've been an adult (18 in November 1992). We've gone from just being yourself to trying to project a very flashy, sexualized image, women especially but guys are wearing button shirts with the top three buttons open, stuff like that. It's really strange. We'll have to see as the current depression deepens whether people dress more casually, or whether there's such a thing as "farmer chic" where everybody is wearing Carhartt and Ben Davis overalls or something. It seems that from the 70s to the mid 90s people dressed very casually, then it got flashier and sexier.

Cartoonish, especially for womens fashions is a good discription. maybe it is in sync with the cartoonish attitude the NOW has about young women in America today.

I've never lived in snow, but walking was my main form of transport for quite a few years. I had some leather shoes/boots. They looked a bit like school-shoes, but they had good grip and were warm enough when it was below freezing. They went ok with long black pants, maybe not as nicely as more feminine shoes would, but well enough that I could wear dressy clothes and still walk.

I also got a warm woollen jacket that went down to my knees and was tapered in around the waist a little. Not tightly, but enough to have a bit of shape. It was dark grey, because I didn't want to wear too much black and bright colours don't suit my personality.

Maybe that's an option? Sensible black shoes, long black pants and more feminine t-shirts (like up there ^). Jacket depends on weather, but something with a bit of "shape".



I just realised I've been dressing like a 40 year old since I was 18

desperate