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computerlove
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19 Oct 2009, 1:07 am

A friend of a friend just got back with her ex, she's a nice person, a little bit OCD (who's normal anyway :lol: ).
They dated for about two years then they broke up, due to some AS issues... and they didn't see each other for about five years! He moved out of town, but they stayed in touch, talking from time to time, so they never lost contact.
But, about three months ago she moved out of town to, and now she lives closer, just a couple of hours from here. She started making contact with him again, talking on the phone constantly, and later they started seeing each other again :D. That was about a month and a half ago, and now, after about a month since they got back 8O she told him that he's the love of her life, and that she wants to marry him . And that she'd love to have a ring in about a month (that is, she wants him to propose formal marriage in about one more month!!).
Is he happy with her? Yeah, I think so.
In the past they had some problems, specially about AS and communication, but I've noticed that he has improved in many of his aspects, and people have also told him that.

Is that normal? Wanting to get married so (relatively) soon?


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Last edited by computerlove on 21 Oct 2009, 12:59 am, edited 2 times in total.

LostAlien
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19 Oct 2009, 6:45 am

It seems kinda odd to me but then again I don't know them, they may have grown enough to deal with each others issues and differences that they had problems with before.



LadyMacbeth
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20 Oct 2009, 11:48 am

If you think about it though, they have known each other for a long while. They kept in contact and they ended up back together. I think it depends on BOTH the feelings of her and him, though.


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computerlove
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21 Oct 2009, 12:47 am

Thanks for the comments.
Yes, I agree, they have known each other so there (hopefully) won't be any surprises.

On her part, she's also aware of her shortcomings (which she has, lets be honest), and seems to also be trying to improve.
BTW he told her that he wants her to tell him all the things clearly/explicitly, and she has done exactly that! :lol: Like "next weekend lets check rings", or "Propose romantically", followed by some examples :lol:
And he of course is aware of his shortcomings (asperger) and tries to improve, so the better for both of them (:

He's still unsure about the socializing part, since she'll very very probably move to my friend's town, and she has more friends in her hometown. He has some friends, but not a lot, or not to the level he thinks would be desirable for her...


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david_42
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22 Oct 2009, 1:26 pm

Figure, they've had five years to think about the reasons why they broke up. And five years to see what their other options are. Maybe they've decided that the problems can be worked out or possibly they weren't all that big a deal in the first place or even this relationship is as good as they might find.



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31 Oct 2009, 4:29 pm

That is very fast, but if they've known each other a long time so that there aren't going to be surprises, it doesn't seem abnormal to me. Maybe being apart let her know how much she appreciated him? If they broke up partly because of his AS issues, she may have later realized how relatively minor and deal-able those issues were. If he's told her to tell him things very explicitly like that maybe some of it is that those are things she wanted to do before, but didn't know if she should? Then when he told her to tell her things specifically like that, she felt that it meant that she could be sure that she should.
It's easy for a woman to get very frustrated by a guy's "inattentiveness" and then later realize that she shouldn't have gotten so upset about it, especially if he'll pay attention if she asks him to. It can feel like a "he doesn't care" thing if she doesn't understand the AS. Then later she'll realize that most "attentive" people are manipulative psychos-- people who are just good at making others feel however they want them to.