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Miyah
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03 Dec 2009, 10:08 am

I am 28 years old and I have Asperger's Syndrome. When it comes to having it, I am caught between being normal and having Autism.

For example, I live with my aunt and will be moving out last week. She has done a lot for me but we had a bad falling out over the past year. One of the reasons is because she wants me to volunteer and help around the house with some sort of chore. However, there are times when I felt like I would ask, and she would tell me to worry about my own area. On the other hand, she then turns around and accuses me of not volunteering to clean other areas of the house such as her bathroom. She then goes on to tell me that no roommates or anyone would want to accept me for being so irresponsible.

I have also lived with two other roommates 6 years ago and they made me feel bad because I didn't clean when they wanted me to clean on a weekend.

I just feel like people get mad at me if I do clean, and it's not done right. On the other, I feel like I'm labeled lazy and careless if I don't clean.

How do I approach situations like for this one?



LostAlien
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03 Dec 2009, 10:37 am

Try your best and try to be calm when someone gets in your face about it. If you try, you'd be better off in my opinion, they have less to give out about. I know that when living with people I prefer that they try instead of leaving their messes for me to deal with.



Miyah
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03 Dec 2009, 11:26 am

LostAlien wrote:
Try your best and try to be calm when someone gets in your face about it. If you try, you'd be better off in my opinion, they have less to give out about. I know that when living with people I prefer that they try instead of leaving their messes for me to deal with.


No no, I am talking about regular chores.



Miyah
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03 Dec 2009, 11:27 am

Miyah wrote:
LostAlien wrote:
Try your best and try to be calm when someone gets in your face about it. If you try, you'd be better off in my opinion, they have less to give out about. I know that when living with people I prefer that they try instead of leaving their messes for me to deal with.




No, No, I was talking about regular chores as far as me doing my share.



zena4
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03 Dec 2009, 11:44 am

Plan a schedule as someone told you on another thread and learn how to clean well.

If you don't know how to do it well, take the benefit to still be with your aunt for a week and learn with her.
Since you're not used to it, take notes maybe so you won't forget when you'll be on your own.



emc2
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04 Dec 2009, 8:38 pm

Miyah wrote:
I just feel like people get mad at me if I do clean, and it's not done right. On the other, I feel like I'm labeled lazy and careless if I don't clean.

How do I approach situations like for this one?


Now I know exactly what you mean.

I had to move back in with my parents for a month or so in August.

They were away for the first week, and I did all the cleaning. Then I kept up cleaning a lot.

Well I just can't please my Mum at all with this. If I don't do anything she is always annoyed and if I do, it's taking away from her role in the house.

Just think of it in your own mind, if you are cleaning or keeping a reasonable standard of tidiness, which might not be perfect, that is enough for you. Just live up to your own standards. As long as you are within reasonable levels of hygiene, there's nothing wrong with what you are doing.

I bet even if you were cleaning as your Aunt wanted you to exactly, she would find something else to criticise.

Just my opinion.