I suck at discipline!!

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I have 2 sisters 8 and 10 and either it's I don't want to say anything afraid I'll get you in trouble or yelling at them. I can get mad at them sometimes and yell and overall raise my voice but others I don't want to say they were doing X since mom/dad make them write or get mad at them for doing X which I feel bad since I didn't bring it up. Mom mention this afternoon what if they got hurt etc. It's my responsibility to keep them safe (which she is right) but I just suck at disciplining them!! !

Try teaching them instead. For example: Find a log laying firmly on the ground where they can practice balancing without risk of falling into a ravine. Play on their curiosities and energies in useful and productive ways.

Have them do a time out or take a privilege away from them when they don't obey or follow the rules your mother has set.

This is what I did with my children. You have to be consistent with this and don't allow them to slide. Its extremely important that young people know they cannot break the rules even when Mom isn't around.

I believe its and excellent idea to plan activities to do with them to help keep them from thinking about doing something they should not do. Plus it will make wonderful memories for when you all are older.

I know what it's like to be the only one in charge, it can be a tough job sometimes. I wish you all the best.

Edited to correct spelling

As parents, we do use physical discipline (spanking) with our children. I know that's not the "cool" thing to do these days, but it works WHEN IT'S DONE RIGHT. In other words, spanking a child shouldn't be the first thing you do. We reserve the most severe punishment for the most severe infractions (situations when the child can get hurt, destruction of valuables, and so on). Also, it's important to control the frequency of spankings--kids CAN get used to it, which means the severity has to increase to be effective, which also means an increased likelihood of abuse. You DON'T want it to progress to that point. It also has the potential to teach that physical violence is sometimes OK, which it NEVER is. So making that an option is something that has to be done with extreme caution. We have practiced this in such a way that spankings have become symbolic, not a show of force. Just a light pat is enough to show our son he has done something very wrong.

I don't know how old you are, but if you're a young teenager, you likely shouldn't use physical punishment. Raising your voice is like physical punishment: Easy to overuse, easy for kids to get used to and eventually ignore. One tip for dealing with young children: NEVER get into an argument with them. You're the boss. You have the final authority. But if you react to them when they talk back to you, you've already lost. There is no reasoning with them.

What you can also think about is if a child is about to get in trouble or start a fight, diffuse the situation. For example, my boy LOVES Thomas the train. But his sister likes to play with his set, also. So I know if they are playing on the train table together to take out the bridges. Once it gets set up, he'll happily play with it until his sister knocks it down (not meaning to, she's only 1). He goes BALLISTIC. He also has a train with a motor, and he gets really caught up in playing with it. It's a nice toy, but he won't take very care of it and is liable to tear up the motor. And, if his sister tries to play with it while it's running, he goes ballistic. So it becomes a "special" toy that we get out on special occasions. Spares EVERYONE a lot of heartache.

Taking away privileges can be effective. Time outs are good, but don't isolate them excessively. A good rule of thumb is one minute for each year of their age, although I extend that rule to a 5 minute minimum. Also good for tantrums: "Now you sit here until you feel better." Of course, not all things work for all people. You just have to develop your own style!

Good luck, let us know if there's anything we can do. It also depends on the situation.

I am watching them tomorrow and thought of an ok plan (has worked in the past) each pick movies they want to watch then watch one then the other (this takes up most of the day) also when it comes to discpline my main concern is yelling/hurting each other/jumping on the bed stuff where they could get hurt. I was thinking slightly using a strategy my parents use write X amount of times (I will not do Y 20/25/50 times) IMO do this BUT lesson it to there age so that'd be 8 and 10. Example 8 year old jumps on bed (Ok now go write I will not jump on the bed 8 times if you don't want to do that than wait and do it when mom gets home) that type of thing. Good idea? or not? I don't want to yell or whatever since I can have a temper (the 10 year old remembers when I yanked the phone from her hand and I can get an "evil look" in my eye like I want to kill LOL!) Thanks for the tips.

That sounds like a great plan Zelda.

zelda im a parent and i suck at discipline way worse than you do , yours is a case of divided loyalties. i see it in my children sometimes. i think your plan is excellent . i might say something like write i will not jump on the bed 20 times now or 60 times when mum gets home ( youll have to arrange with your mum the figures in advance ) this will have the double effect that they may well take your punishment as the better option plus while there sat there writing lines they arent otherwise engaged in trying to create chaos .

You need to get very clear, possibly written instructions from your parents. They may not want you disciplining your siblings at all or they may want you to do something completely different from what you have been doing or from what they do. Your mom's instruction to "keep them safe" is too vague. You need to ask her what exactly to do in each of the likely scenarios such as jumping on the bed.

Ask her: "what should I do if they jump on the bed?"

She will say: "tell them to stop"

You should say: "what should I do if they don't stop when I tell them to?"

I won't fill in a possible answer because it could be literally anything. She needs to tell you what to do when they ignore your intstructions. This is an area where you should not guess. You should get explicit instructions. And don't let her end with "tell them to stop" because they will ignore you abnd you need to know what to do when they ignore you.

Disciplining other peoples' kids is a very tricky area. A lot of pretty serious fights between family members happen when the parents are not explicit in what the related babysitter is supposed to do in the likely event that their instructions are ignored. I think it is a very bad idea to decide on your own what punishment is appropriate because they may not want you to discipline them at all! Or they may want you to do something very specific that is nevertheless different from what they do. Trying to do like they do or think up something on your own is asking for trouble. So ask them exactly what to do when your safety instructions are ignored.