Trying to Live Independendly but keep messing up..:(
I am 32 now, I hoped by 2010 to move out of my parents place, I love the country and where I am, but I reach out and seek to be independent, but I keep impulsively spending on so much stuff, it is unreal, well maybe that's what i do, I try to make blueprints, good ideas, but I just always fall into pleasing someone else and putting myself second it is very hurtful to me deep inside, but i never cry in real person, it is always in my head like what is wrong with me , can i do this? Last time i tried a woman used me took my job, and then, luckily my parents let me back with them, if i lose my SSI i am over, done with, it is really confusing , yet i do want to try to work and make my life productive... IT HURTS
I had been trying to move from my father's house since I was 22. Not that I didn't want to do it before, but I didn't have a good job back then. Every time I brought the subject, he played mind games to trick me into staying. There was one day when we had a really serious discussion and I slept at a friend's house that night. Again, I let my father convince me to return.
At 26 I had already earned the degree he had forced me to study for, and my two older siblings were already living on their own in another city. What I did was choose a job that had offices in that city as well, and I'm now studying (for the degree I really want) at a university that has offices nationwide. Then, all of a sudden, I requested to be moved at both work and study. The paperwork was easier than I thought. I just had to save for half a year and then buy my airplane ticket; I had a job waiting for me anyway.
My father was very skeptical of the seriousness of my intent, but the fact that I had all bases covered gave me the confidence to ignore his objections.
Upon arrival, I stayed with my sister for a couple of weeks until my brother got me a room I could rent. Six months later, I'm sharing an apartment with a roommate I had planned to live with since the beginning. He also moved from my hometown, and our company is what keeps our resolution alive.
So my first advice to you is: find someone who is willing to be your roommate and who will accept you 100%. Someone you'll feel comfortable being around, someone who won't judge you for being yourself. Finding a job to support yourself is of course vitally important, but the company you keep everyday is what keeps you going.
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