Getting un-stuck in life

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I've been with my girlfriend for two years, and she was in tears tonight because while I did take her out to a bookstore and lunch for her birthday, I didn't buy her a present. She said that she just wanted a drawing, so I was in the process of drawing it -- it was a portrait of her in a Buddhist robe against a pretty landscape, she was a monk once -- when she came in and told me not to worry about finishing it, it kind of should have been done already, and she didn't want me up late doing it. I had been to my nephew's graduation the day before, and it was exhausting, as was the bookstore and lunch -- it didn't used to be this way, but at one point in the hamburger place, the pounding rap music and cacophony of thundering voices and impressions was like a circular saw cutting into sheet metal inside my brain.

It sucks because she wants me to have fun and be happy, and I want the same for her - but she can tell that I get stressed and miserable and angry in public.

She is often upset over my behavior, like the time last weekend when I nervously put off finishing a little animation for a client which I said I'd do. It's very frustrating, and I haven't made much headway -- I'm talented, but I have this terror of starting and sticking with tasks, especially new ones. I don't know if it's been getting worse lately, or that it's hit me that I've been living respectably (getting to work on time, no drugs) for about two years now and I haven't gotten anywhere. I want to, I refuse to accept watching my dreams drain away as I pour coffee or make sandwiches, but whenever it comes right down to getting something done -- that is, something outside of work -- there's this reluctance, like I'm afraid of doing it.

And I feel like I'm always tired and never get a chance to relax. Thank you for reading this if you did, I don't have anyone else I care to tell this to. Suggestions?

you have demonstrated to your GF that you were willing to try her world, now it is only fair that she be willing to try YOUR world, one of peace and quiet and order.
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just my 2-cents' worth, adjusted for inflation

If there isn't a "mostly-match", personality to personality, in a relationship, it's going to be really, really, hard. Not saying such matches can't work, but they do require a lot of willing compromise from both sides - and that can be harder to accomplish than one would guess. So I've learned in my own relationship experiences.

It's a bummer that things are down in this relationship for you right now. Sounds like she wasn't willing or able to see and appreciate you for who and what you are. Again, that makes it very hard. So sorry!

I've been hoping/trying to become a professinal poker player for 5-7 yrs. now. It was not until the last 2 - 3 yrs that I really started to put a lot of time into it. I would put some effort in, suffer some setbacks, quit, but I couldn't let it die, so I always went back. It was like I couldn't handle the possible truths that would come out if I played a lot like, 1) maybe I'm not good enought to win 2) I couldn't emotionally handle losing...or winning for that matter. What has helped me recently is just that I try to just shut my brain off and do as much as I can. Even so I still commonly find obastacles derailing my progress. I suggest trying to just schedule 5 hrs. of working on your dream related goals consistently every week. Over time that will add up and your successes will spur you forward. It's hard, but I'm hoping to eventually reach my dreams. As far as the personal relationship stuff, I wish I could help. I've been married 14 yrs to an NT. I often think she's the best thing that's ever happenned to me and then at other times I think I would be better off alone. My 2 kids are definitely too much for me to handle often, but w/o my son I may have never figured out I had AS. I don't know what to do so I can only say try to be true to yourself.