relationship success stories

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can anyone tell me something positive about how they overcame issues related to AS and got into a relationship? or learned to communicate better with a significant other?

I think the secret to successful relationships lies in the philosophy of tantra.

I think the tantra exercises and way of percieveing your partner, can overcome a lot of problems aspies have with intimacy and communciation. Tantra really bonds you with a person and helps you understand them so I think its incredibly good for relationships and makeing them strong healthy relationships.

the best book Ive read so far on tantra is Cassandra Lorius
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Tantric-Sex-Mak ... 886&sr=8-4

Idk about overcoming issues. My AS is mild i think (though it seems to get worse as i age) & my GF has AS as well.
We're kinda like two peas in a pod .
no significant problems yet relationshipwise.

i suppose that if i were dating an NT i might possibly have more relationship issues though

I overcame my dating issues by going to Mexico where women were friendly to me. I met my wife there and we have been married for 19 years.

I don't understand why communication would be an issue. It's true that I know couples that have issues, but this is generally because they play games and lie to each other. If you are just honest with your partner, then communication shouldn't be a problem.

i suppose at first she just wanted the citizenship, but then she came to love you?

generally speaking, there are plenty mexicans willing to marry to escape mexico .

or was it different from that and rather sweet ?

Actually she turned down a number of Americans before she met me, so citizenship couldn't have been the reason.

Here is a pretty good article about Mexican women:

http://www.fredoneverything.net/Mexicanas.shtml

once i found out i had AS i felt i had a better understanding of where my own deficiencies lay. i was already married, but it definitely helped me to understand why i had trouble thriving under society's stereotypical conditions. it gave me a framework to communicate why, i.e. even after 15 years i was not always comfortable socializing with my husband's family. or why i could not have the furniture rearranged without a meltdown, for example.

i don't think any relationship is easy, under any conditions. but i think that when we reflect and understand that we are not always right in a relationship (we seem to have a strong sense of 'rightness'/justice, am i wrong?), and also if we communicate our needs clearly, we can be successful.

interesting article

Yes, we had issues because she expected me to communicate non-verbally the way NTs do. Our relationship has gotten much better since we both understand the need for speaking up early and often. We have now been married over 11 years!

Awww, this thread makes me smile and gives me hope. ^_^

God forbid that if anything ever happened between my husband and I, but I'd NEVER date an NT. Hubby's an aspie like me. I would desparately need another aspie. If I ever got with an NT, I'd have to be on such much medication that I'd probably die.

I was with my children's dad for over 10 years. It wasn't always happy and easy but that's another story. He kept trying to 'fix' me and in hindsight he made me worse (didn't know I was aspie then) My wife is pretty quiet and clam and doesn't get angry with me. She used to worry alot about why I get quiet or seem distant sometimes but now understands much more than it isn't her and it's just how I am and that it helps me manage with everything else in life

First wife - forget overcoming things. I think she was willing to try to get me - as I was willing to try with her - but she could not resist her parents who truly did not like / trust / understand / want to understand me.

Wife two - alsio mildly spectral - we are two different people so things come up, but we basically get one another and want to get and be gotten, so pretty much nothing to overcome except the doubts that come from too many past failed relatings.

I think there's a fine art to explaining your AS to an interested partner. I can't count the times I've been blown off because of not being able to communicate. I think a lot of it has to do with the people you're looking for. Some social groups are mostly about style and peer approval. Some people think for themselves. The woman I just tried to get with is her own person and she's very pleasant to be around. I told her how I felt, we aren't together, but even NT's never get anywhere by keeping their feelings to themselves.

Actually, I would have been open to a relationship with a Mexican woman had I not met a woman from the Philippines. My Filipina friend and I chatted online (sometimes video chat) for 6 months before we met in person. Yes, I'm sure that she would like to come to the USA, but she is very kind and accepting towards me. What more can I ask for?

that is a sweet story. we all have ulterior motives of one kind or another, but it's nice there is love involved too. my uncle-in-law is a twice divorced dashing pilot, and HE has a philippina girlfriend who would like citizenship too, but they enjoy each other immensely and gain a lot from being together.