Alcohol and AS
i drink, quite a bit in fact, and often; but then again im Irish. i feel more like myself once i have a few beers and a whiskey or two in me, like i can set aside the mask i wear all throughout the day to blend in with the NTs. i only drink at night, before i go to bed (unfortunatly this has become part of my daily routine, i cant sleep unless i have a few drinks), or for a special occassion.
i spend most of my intellect throughout the day analysing facial expressions and tones of voice to figure out people's emotions, but after ive downed a few i find that i can think better and freer. i often have some of my best ideas when i am slightly buzzed, no joke. i feel i can let it all go and be the true me once im slightly sloshed.
what im wondering as i write this is simple: how do all of you is AS land think of that drug known as Alcohol? do you use it? if not, why? how do you feel once youve had a few drinks? am i the only one that uses it to pry the mask from off my face and relax as myself?
i can pre-empt one reply, of course; i am probably an alcoholic, but i dont care. i enjoy it, and i dont allow my proclivity for drink to effect my life. i dont drive once i drink, i dont hang around children, i dont hit people, and on only rare occassions do i become fall down, vomitous drunk.
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Draax, Evil Genius
I used to feel this way. I would have to drink in order to be comforatable around people. I got ill due to some other problems and drinking wasn't really an option anymore. I did drink now and then but it was sort of like a limbo state where I felt I was damaging myself in order to fit in with people who were directionless. I did try not drinking an going out. It was impossible as I am sure you are aware.
I now do not drink at all, maybe the odd glass of wine, but I feel stronger and my own personal (not national) identity has come through stronger than before. I felt personally that I was damaging myself just to fit in & I was right. I am quite happy in my own company though, maybe at first I was not. The drink was sort of a fuzz over reality for me. Yes it helped me fit in, but what was I fitting into?
Hope your find your optimum area
LostAndFound
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: 6 Oct 2009
Age: 50
Gender: Female
Posts: 43
Location: Washington state
I have a love-hate relationship with alcohol. It obscures the world, which for me is a positive. But every time I drink I feel poisoned the next day. And if I drink too often my psych beats me with a rake while chanting "maladaptive coping mechanism *thwap maladaptive coping mechanism *thwap*...."
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leejosepho
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Joined: 14 Sep 2009
Gender: Male
Posts: 9,011
Location: 200 miles south of Little Rock
I no longer drink at all, but I only ever drank for the very same kind of reasons/effects you get ... and personally, I see nothing at all wrong with that.
i dont allow my proclivity for drink to effect my life.
i dont drive once i drink ...
... and on only rare occassions do i become fall down, vomitous drunk.
Some people might consider you *an* alcoholic (noun) simply because you drink regularly, but actually *being* alcoholic (adjective) is a different matter ... and you will eventually know the answer to that question with absolute certainty if/when the alcohol ever or eventually completely takes over how *much* you drink whenever you do. Apart from being rid of the insanity of their drinking at all, real alcoholics *always* ultimately drink completely out of control.
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I began looking for someone like me when I was five ...
My search ended at 59 ... right here on WrongPlanet.
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I have been using alcohol for a few years as a way of sealing the day. I don't drink every day because it makes me feel bad after a couple of nights drinking. But I think it is a nasty drug that does more physical harm than it gives mental relief. But it is nice if it can be done in moderation. My problem is that if I have a night of drinking it is a proper night of drinking in that I empty a good part of a bottle of rum. It makes me sharper and more focused for a while but then makes me delerious as I drink more. I do like crashing into bed though. Having a joint on top of a nights drinking makes me crash like never before.
I did drink now and then but it was sort of like a limbo state where I felt I was damaging myself in order to fit in with people who were directionless.
i feel i must elaborate on a thing or two. i drink at home, the only time i go to bars is when my roommate drags me to one. what i mean about being being able to 'take off my mask', is to be more comfortable with myself and not feel like such a phony, being what people expect me to be and not how i really am.
most of the time i am quite alone when i drink; noone to interupt my thoughts, or my behaviour.
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Draax, Evil Genius
as i said before, im Irish. that stereotype holds true, for me at least. i dont get hangovers, noone in my family does. the only way i get a hangover is when i drink a very large amount of alcohol (that would be an obscene amount for the rest of you), i have inherited my family's tolerance for the substance.
the last time i got a hangover was the day after i drank an entire fifth of bourbon + a pint of brandy + a sixpack of beer, all on an empty stomach and over the course of 5 hours; and then it was gone within 2 hours of waking up. got to love that Irish blood.
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Draax, Evil Genius
I drank every day for 25 years. Most of the time it was great. It didn't solve my problems; it just "disolved" them. I would forget to feel like I didn't fit in. But the last couple years were more like a contest with the bottle. Am I going to avoid it or drink it today? I'm going to drink it? Okay, am I going to just have a little, or am I going to finish the bottle? I finished the bottle? Okay, am I going to stop there, or am I going to go get another? Gee, I can't walk to go get another, so let's see what else I can find around the house...
Now I don't drink, and I'm back to feeling like the same dork I was from age 2 to age 18. The only thing that helps is finding other people like me to be around so I don't feel so conspicuous.
If alcohol still worked, I would still be drinking.
t0
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Joined: 23 Mar 2008
Age: 51
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Location: The 4 Corners of the 4th Dimension
Hi all
I was a habitual, daily drinker, every night, in my own home, alone. To turn off from work and to get to sleep. Rarely hung over, rarely drank socially, half a bottle of post most nights along with a few beers and maybe wine.
I am not an alcoholic in terms of having the disease. If anyone is unsure I suggest going to a closed AA meeting - you only need to recognise that you have a problem with alcohol to attend and you absolutely do not have to say or do anyting other than sit and listen.
What I was, was a compulsive habitual heavy drinker. And it was certainly a coping mechanism for frustration at Aspergers and stress at work. I still drink but now I just have less and I wait longer and longer before having that first drink. I buy less quantity and better quality. I only drink port on special occasions and make it a treat, all mental tricks to put me in control and to just manage it better. When I drink, even a glass of wine, I feel more in control and feel more self esteem so if it's self medication, so be it.
bathtub
I have the same problem. I try never to drink and it's wokred but at the same time the pain is still there. I don't like talking much abou it on this forum since there's this weird stigma attached to it. Everytime I've brought this subject up, I get people who tell me what a bad person I am and why it isn't something that should be treated but rather willed. I grew up from an alcoholic home and my dad told me he use to have the same trouble whenver he drank. He had an excuse for everything. My grandfather was the same way. Both of them were very smart but never able to keep a job.
I'm a little worried now. I've been sober for a long time but I have to admit, when I drink, I drink. I don't understand it and I don't expect anyone else to. If I ever continue I will always not die happy. I use to want to die thinking it was an escape, I realize now it would effect many ppl and lol my pets.
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I live as I choose or I will not live at all.
~Delores O’Riordan
I'm a little worried now. I've been sober for a long time but I have to admit, when I drink, I drink. I don't understand it and I don't expect anyone else to. If I ever continue I will always not die happy. I use to want to die thinking it was an escape, I realize now it would effect many ppl and lol my pets.
I'm sorry there's such ignorance here. Many here could understand a compulsion so why is drinking supposed to be a matter of will? From my own experience, if you are wired to be an alcoholic then the only way to stop drinking is to put all your effort into not picking up that first drink. Once it's in your system something is triggered and it is next to impossible to drink moderately. Alcoholism is a progressive disease too so if someone isn't completely out of control after that first drink they eventually will be. I could easily have died.
I'm probably just "borderline aspie" anyway, but I enjoy having a few drinks with friends occasionally, it makes me feel pretty much entirely NT. Communication becomes so much easier. I have been told that I become very clever and witty...I think when I'm sober I still have some of that wit but don't have the ability to share it.
So, yeah, I use it to relax and be able to be more what I think of as my true self, i.e. me without the inhibition or awkwardness.
leejosepho
Veteran
Joined: 14 Sep 2009
Gender: Male
Posts: 9,011
Location: 200 miles south of Little Rock
From the experience of Alcoholics Anonymous:
"For those who are unable to drink moderately the question is how to stop altogether. We are assuming, of course, that the reader desires to stop. Whether such a person can quit ... depends upon the extent to which he has already lost the power to choose whether he will drink or not. Many of us felt that we had plenty of character. There was a tremendous urge to cease forever. Yet we found it impossible. This is the baffling feature of alcoholism as we know it - this utter inability to leave it alone, no matter how great the necessity or the wish."
("Alcoholics Anonymous", the book, page 34)
If an alcoholic could just not pick up the first drink, A.A. would never have even come into existence.
... and that is why that only "works" for a little while ... or maybe even for a longer while, but never forever.
There actually is no treatment for alcoholism, but there *is* treatment available for the hopelessness of our powerlessness.
_________________
I began looking for someone like me when I was five ...
My search ended at 59 ... right here on WrongPlanet.
==================================
From the experience of Alcoholics Anonymous:
"For those who are unable to drink moderately the question is how to stop altogether. We are assuming, of course, that the reader desires to stop. Whether such a person can quit ... depends upon the extent to which he has already lost the power to choose whether he will drink or not. Many of us felt that we had plenty of character. There was a tremendous urge to cease forever. Yet we found it impossible. This is the baffling feature of alcoholism as we know it - this utter inability to leave it alone, no matter how great the necessity or the wish."
("Alcoholics Anonymous", the book, page 34)
If an alcoholic could just not pick up the first drink, A.A. would never have even come into existence.
I see what you're saying and perhaps I am different. I've had someone tell I'm not a true alcoholic and that I don't
have the "alcoholic" personality, but rather more an ocd thing. All I know is once I started I was driven to have another
and another and another even if another part of my brain was screaming stop! I am lucky that once I broke the cycle
with a 28 day treatment program and learned ways to avoid triggers I have been dry for 10 years (and I love
sobriety). I have had the occasional urge but my memories of the hell are stronger that whatever temporary relief
alcohol could bring, AA was an uncomfortable place for me personally because it relies on interaction with people and
I'm not good at that.