Explaining to children

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Has anyone their autism to their kids, and if so how did you go about it?

I ask because I'm getting married soon and I plan on having children.
It's fairly obvious something is seriously off about me. Intellectually I'm mature, but emotionally and functionally, I range between 2 and 12. My best friend is 7 years old. I'm exceptionally good with kids, and all my friends insist I'll make a wonderful mother, but I'm concerned about how/when I would explain to them why I'm a different.

Also, does anyone have a good resource for evaluating the hereditary risk increases for autism? I know it goes up with me being autistic, and I've heard that my fiance's age and his awesome techie/nerd mind will increase risk as well, but if there is something that lists risk increases based on various factors, that'd be awesome.

I am not sure about the risk info. You might try the autism research center at the University of Cambridge. Simon Baron-Cohen is associated with them. http://www.autismresearchcentre.com/

There was an interesting (and very short) article about genetics and autism with him in Time magazine a while back
http://healthland.time.com/2011/08/19/could-the-way-we-mate-and-marry-boost-rates-of-autism/

As to telling the kids: My husband and i didn't know anything about autism until one of our children was diagnosed a couple of years ago. After much reading--and finding this forum-- we have much more insight into why we are compatible and why our whole family is "quirky."

Since it's a "done deal" we have been trying to discuss autism as honestly and openly as possible with the kids. We value it as neurodiversity; a part of who we are that does not define us. The hope is that the kids (hopefully) do not hold onto shame or embarrassment about us or each other. We have to make and seek accomodations to deal with everyday things, but that's just our reality. It is what it is.

Because we don't expect each other to act "more normal" I hope it's freeing the kids up to focus on other things.
What makes them happy. If I were to give advice, I'd say prepare for what could happen and start a family!

Best of luck

How can an individual with the emotional and functional capacity of a 12 year old prepare for parenting children?

Maybe this is where extended family could be helpful. In the best of circumstances, family could help coach in skills that are developing. When I was pregnant with my first child, i had no idea that i would hit the genetic "jack-pot." We're not perfect parents, but we have some helpful family members, and read a lot of parenting books.

On the bright side, my kids like hanging out with me for the most part. My emotional "immaturity" also came in handy when i worked in a pre-school. I think I had a lot of empathy that the other teachers did not. All in how you look at it.

Because I have the intellectual maturity of a 30 year old? Also, one of my special talents (I've two, the other is cooking) is children, and I've got years of experience, because I wanted to have children since I was very young, and I knew given my challenges, it'd be harder. I've been working with special needs children since I was seven (I volunteered to ride the bus and help keep them in their seats and to help out with them in class) and non-special needs kids since I was 9 (when I started middle school). No one doubts my ability to intellectually prepare for the kids or take care of them, and I've got a circle of very close, slightly older friends with lot's of experience, such as my friends D. and R. who can help me. R. has a daughter with downs, who I taught to crawl, walk, say and sign a few words, etc. over the two plus years I was her mother's assistant, and D. has three Daughters, one 10 year old neurotypical, the seven year old that's my best friend, and not quite neurotypical, and a 15 month old. I occasionally stay with her for a week or so as a live in helper.

At 10, I was getting up at 4am, cleaning the kitchen, making breakfast, getting my 4 year old brother up dressed and fed and off to school, and coming home, helping him with his homework, cooking dinner, doing the laundry, feeding the cat, getting my brother washed and into bed, and hoping I had enough time to do any of my homework before I passed out. I did even more on the weekends.

Regardless of my emotional and personal functional ability, I have the intellectual ability and skills necessary to care for children, and I have a support system and network through my friends and my church.