2 years and maybe of waiting...

Post Reply New Topic

If you remember my last post: Traitor among us i was very angry but with somes tips i deceide to try to past thought my murderous thing and angry thing. Last month i subscribe myself in Centre Gabrielle Major. My doc want me to be socialised. Yeah you know what i think of it. But i will try it same if i become a traitor for going better. The only snag is that with Canadian health system, god know how Canadian system sucks di*** the center have an waiting list of 2 years or 2 years and one half. When the moment will come because of all late the system take with my case i will be 25/one half. I think that i will be a little old for begin to learn all social thing i'm already very rusty. Worst for dating. Anyway i will wait this time...no choice. I just wonder how i can past time.

I fear to become more bitter than i am. Since a while i idolize nazis while listen to the Horst Wessel or Mussolini with the Giovinezza. I listen to the Unforgiven while thinking of my shitt* life. The only thing that occup me is to invent an story with my fictional character i create with an cousin while we was much younger. I can't begin something to finish it i lack of motivation. I fear for my mood. I fear to become more more and more bitter until insanity.

Yeah i'm always alone but i can't socialize much. You shoulf not be surprised that i will rest virgin until my 25-26 years if that continue. There time to have 20 snowstorms, 2 fall/automn, and 2 very boring summer before that happen. I have an psychiatrist that follow me each or 2 months but that not enough. I curse Canada for been born in this trash. My biggest fear in that is to lost insanity and recessed in biterness. I love Canada automn and winter but that enough!

A few idea for cope with and do not go into madness before the 2 and half year?

lol. o.O I know Gabrielle-Major, nice people in general with good intentions... But it wasn't for me. =/ To each his own! They did want us to learn to socialize, but with other aspies, which for me made it extra-awkward (I think we had gone to watch a movie or something...) o.O . I never had to wait a lot and in fact, they closed my folder because of inactivity with their center, so meh. On the flip side, it was my mom doing "most" of the paperwork and calling them. =/

I find it that more gratifying to make friends by myself (or at least, new acquaintances) among my schoolmates, at least. Also, heh, you should know that nazis aren't very appreciated unless they're with like-minded peers. =/ But then again, your case is somewhat of an oxymoron, since nazis disliked anyone who was "abnormal" or appeared mentally ret*d. So yeah, unless you can harness your hate into something useful (Ha, I feel like i'm quoting Darion Mograine. -.- ), your options are a limited.

And really, being a virgin isn't so bad. =/ Best enjoy it while you're still single, 'cuz once you get a girlfriend, first of all, doesn't mean you'll be having sex every week (or day, ha) or that you'll have free reign to do whatever you want. ^.-

De plus, si tu penses que t'es trop vieux pour cruiser, j'chuis plus vieux que toi et moi non plus j'ai jamais eut de date et encore moins de parties de jambes en l'air, fait qu'arrête de t’apitoyer ok? Y'a toujours ben plus mal pogné que soi-même. <.<

Something useful heh? Not an bad idea. Yeah i idiolize nazi i'm abnormal. At least i admit it! First time i admit it.

Peut être pas trop vieux mais plus que rouiller... Tu peut ben parler tu sais pas la merde que je vie 24/24 7/7 365/année

25 is NOT too old to begin learning to socialize. I was 24 when I made my first friend that liked me for who I was instead of what they could get out of me.

Idolizing Nazis... Man, I feel ya. It speaks to hate and rage against society in general. Been down that road-- in my early 20's-- only with me it was almost joining a demonic cult. No kidding. Screaming Unforgiven II in my head the entire time. No joke.

Just remember-- The Nazis hated people like us even more than modern society does. I have a theory. Wanna hear it??

In the late 1930's, Hans Asperger and Leo Kanner were studying the same disorder in similar children. They noticed the same traits, symptoms, and difficulties. They gave the condition the same name-- autism. Asperger wrote at great length about the strenghths of the people he worked with and their value to society. Kanner wrote at great length about the deficiencies of the people he worked with and how little hope they had for a productive future.

The difference between them?? Hans Asperger practised in Austria, and was trying to save the people in his clinic from being exterminated as part of the Third Reich's eugenics programs. Leo Kanner was practising in the United States, and may have been himself a eugenicist.

It's all in how you look at things, man. It's all in how you look at things.

Your not wrong. I don't thinked about nazi extermination program. And Mussolini, he haved an similar program?

Not that I know of-- but my special interest in it all was pretty strictly confined to Hitler and the US. And was at its height like 20 years ago, so even with my Aspie brain I've probably forgotten LOTS. IRRC, Mussolini's main contribution to all that was that he did not argue with or make any attempt to resist Hitler's campaign.

Another factoid, though. Sorry-- once a special interest, always a favorite topic of conversation.

Again IRRC, the National Socialist (aka Nazi) Party came into power because the German (Italian, Austrian, and other European) people were very frustrated with heavy-handed reparations costs they'd been strapped with after World War I. They were fed up with being put down and poor and struggling, they were bitter and pissed off, and Hitler told them he knew who was to blame (chiefly the Jews) and that he/his ideas could restore them to their "rightful" greatness.

That's why the Marshall Plan was adopted at the end of WW II, even though a lot of Americans (and British, and et cetera) were really not in favor of footing the bill to clean up the mess Hitler and Hirohito made. Because the Allied leaders were smart enough to realize what led to the situation in the first place, and they didn't want to create that kind of environment again.

Yeah, I can definitely see why you'd identify with them. I do wish human beings had learned something from that little episode-- That sh*****g on a person or group of people has a natural tendency to have hideous unexpected consequences.

If we'd learn from history, the consequences wouldn't be so unexpected. Of course, if we'd learned from history, the consequences wouldn't happen, because we wouldn't s**t on people like that.

Sometimes I wonder what's wrong with NTs to make them think they're so all-fired great I'm f*****g autistic, and I can figure that out. Why can they, with their supposedly superior neurological wiring, not see that?? That's why the world NEEDS Aspies-- we're the ones who can be counted on to see patterns and to think.

That's also why you can't afford to let yourself get sucked into that mentality. You can't let the NTs get you down, and you can't let the Nazis take advantage of the mindset. Because sometimes I think God made Aspies to save the NT world from ITS OWN MIND-BLINDNESS.

Wow. I'm getting arrogant. I gotta go cook now. My MIL's on her way home and there's nothing on the stove. Stupid perseveration.