Parent in denial of seeking help

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I recently had gotten an e-mail from my mother who has an untreated form of psychosis. She wrote a very bizarre e-mail that was impovrished. Her e-mail was also very flat and extremly rude. So, I contacted my dad via phone and told him what she wrote since it mentioned that they were going on a cruise later this week and gave a phone number. My dad sounded very interested at first and sent me an e-mail saying that he was sorry and that he gave me his work e-mail so that I could contact him.

I then mentioned that I was concerned that she was safe to take on a cruise of she was going to shout random things at people that made no sense. I also suggested that he further look into the NAMI website and look for support through them in hi s area. Finally, I asked specifically whether she was hearing voices or seeing things along with deluding. I then showed him what she wrote, but he wrote back and was very brief and said, "Oh, she just needs a change in scenery, that's all. I will let you know how it goes."

Could I get some advice?

If you don't live with your mum, you can make secret arrangments for the ambulance to go pick your mum up and drop her off at the psych ward, where she will be tested.

How old is your Mom? Is your Dad living with her - and is he aware of the situation? Are you possibly referring to dementia (Alzheimers)?

If that's the case, it's possible for people with dementia to have good days and bad days. If your father is aware of the situation and has prepared for it (but is just choosing not to go into the details) she may do fine on the holiday.

If you're in the US, you can call the local department on aging and voice your concerns to them - they may have someone stop by and do a "wellness check." I would assume other countries have similar social services geared towards the elderly.

My mom is 56 and has always has bizarre signs that were suttle when I was growing up. However, her acute stage of schizophrenia started peeking about 15 years ago. She has delusions and paranoia problems and the flat toned personality. Although I do not live to see my mother anymore, my dad and my sisters do and I am concerned about her mental state because she blurted out some comments in an e-mail that had nothing to do with the cruise.

For example, she posted in the title of the e-mail "Now see here Nikkita." She then wrote, "Greetings everyone. Shut up dark shadow, we're sorry that's write we're not talking to you." She then went on to write the rest of the e-mail about the cruise.

I am not going on the cruise because she can be very dangerous and toxic which makes her mean. I am also not going for my own safety and sanity because she is also so abusive. What I am worried about is the fact that she will go on this cruise and have one of her psychotic episodes and start freaking out just because someone in the group has a certain name is interested in a certain religion which she is very high about.

If your father is going with her and is willing to take responsibility for her on the trip, and you're NOT going, I don't see why you should try to keep her from it. It won't affect you one way or the other.

I know but that is not the point. My concern is that she will try and hurt my Dad, sister, and others in that condition. Otherwise, I am totally fine with her going on a cruise since it's something that she has never done. I have been to some of those ports and she is lucky to see them. However, my dad knows that she is sick and talks about it but doesn't get out there and try and seek any support groups or look at multiple options just incase something really bad happens like she heards voices and then kills someone based on the voices. Instead, he keeps blowing it off and saying that the county cannot do anything unless she is a threat to others or herself and that is what scares me.

I'm mostly with arielhawksquill - and it doesn't look as though she's old enough to qualify for senior services.

You might try calling her local social services department with your concerns. If the schizophrenia was previously diagnosed, maybe you could try her doctor.

My dad put up with my mom until the day he died. My mother was crazier than the hills. I got crazy emails all the time telling me the many reasons why I was going to hell. My dad downplayed everything, including the physical and verbal abuse he suffered from her. You may not be able to get through to your dad. My mother died without a diagnosis. She refused to see a doctor all the way to the end. She could never admit she wasn't perfect. If you have brothers or sisters, I'd try to get them involved.

I have a sister who has very severe anger and depression and wants to see my mom locked away for good in a psychiatric ward. However, she doesn't really know how to handle my mother and really know how to set boundaries with her like the way that I do. Instead, she yells at her and talks down to her all the time or so I heard.

On the other hand, I have a 14 year old sister who is in complete denial of anything really being wrong with my mom, and I was too when I had the mind of a 12 year old at age 19.

I feel that I have tried everything to point them in the right direction about getting some help not only for her but also for my dad and sisters well in getting educated and support about how to better tackle her illness dead on.

She has never been diagnosed like Wefunction, and my dad has tried calling the county to try and get her help but blew him off by telling him that they could not do anything unless she was a harm to herself and others. So, my dad went along with that and has been doing it for the last 10 years.

Is your dad a member of a church (I know you said your mom has religious issues - but is she a member?) They often offer social services for free.

Nope, they don't belong to any church since she decided that she was too Christian to go or that the other people are all against her.