How to resist negative influence?

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I keep feeling so down lately. I've had anxiety for a long time but never depression. Since September I've been feeling worried and losing interest in my hobbies. My problem is I'm stuck, stuck with life and obligations, and it just happens that everyone has been a bigger problem since September. My kids (both autistic) have been struggling with school and increased homework. We need to breathe down their neck and offer a lot of help (and scribing) or they wouldn't do them. My brother's constantly at odds with his daughter, who seek our help often. He's also unemployed and spending money like crazy and bothering everyone to give him money. His wife cry to me about all these. My parents complain about all these. My dad had his 4th round of chemo and is not doing too well. My mom is still arguing with him all the time and complain to me. My grandma who used to be a bit of help now got dementia, is in paranoid stage and drives everyone nuts. We have no balanced NT people in the family that I can talk to, other than DH's parents, but I didn't want to be such a whiner.

I've never felt so truly autistic until now. I have unplugged the phone and have the answering machine say we're not talking phone calls. It doesn't help for long however. After 3 or 4 days my guilt drive me to pick up phone again or contact my family (parents, brother, grandma) again. I know they don't have anybody else and need me, but I really would rather hide in a cave somewhere. DH said I shouldn't let other people's problems bother me so much. I just don't know how to let it go. I can manage to forget about them for a couple days but then I get my weekly renewal of complaints/craziness by talking to them. It's like a bad job I can't quit.

I know I can't be the only person in the world who's dealing with all sorts of problems. I wonder how others cope. I do have insurance and can talk to some therapist, but I don't drive and need to have someone take me to appointments. I'd only do that if that can really help.

Wow. I’m so sorry for what you’re going through. I have just two words of advice: SPECIAL INTEREST. Mine have seen me through the very inner circle of hell. French poetry, the 19th c. Atlantic Monthly, and lately, the family tree.

Maybe it’ll help if I share some of my story with you. Several years ago, I worked for a couple of thugs who harassed and stalked me just for being "different" i.e., introverted and taciturn (weird). My life was a living hell. Eventually, they published airbrushed photographs of me in a mainline porn magazine – just for laughs. When I found out about it and confronted them, they threatened to kill me if I did anything. (They were very convincing.)

My two younger sisters tell everyone they know – friends, neighbors, and relatives that I am mentally ill - a delusional schizo, as well as a “boozer” and a slut. None of it is true, but, being the morbidly shy, blushing, twitching, grimacing, drooling, nervous HFA that I am, people tend to believe these stories. “Why would her sisters lie about her?”

I’ve found that learning to say “to hell with it” helps. There is only so much you can do and the rest is out of your hands. Focusing on my special interest has been key.

My life is good! Even if I’ve worked for demented creeps and my sisters are a couple of whack jobs. I hope this helps a little.

P.S. Why would you want an NT to talk to?! And I think the term “balanced NT” is an oxymoron – there is no such thing!

Take care.

Life is tuff and moreso if you are not able to shake off other peoples problems.

I am there at the moment, I have two boys (9 and 12 yo) and I think that they are on or near the spectrum. I am going to my own evaluation in january. I do not know if the twins are on the spectrum (they are 2½). That makes family life pretty chaotic. When one or both of the twins cry they send the 9 yo into a meltdown, he sometimes react by hitting his older brother who (being very patient) will only become sad/upset because his brother is hitting him. That makes four children needing attention at the same time Oh and the husband left this february with the B**** he cheated with when I was pregnant with the twins! There are lots of other things - but not for this thread

One of my reactions have been to cut off almost all communication: No television, no radio, two or three pages that I visit on the internet (WP)
I hardly see any people and they mostly have to make an effort to get a reaction. It seems as if I am no longer able to cope with the external world, I have enough going on in my own life. I have also taking up stimming more, which is a good thing. so def. going more autistic

Next year is going to be a better year, that is my mantra.

That's perfectly understandable, and I'm sorry for sounding so flip. It's just that I've had some pretty bad experiences being misunderstood by NTs. Good luck to you!