Told off by my aunt

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Today I went onto Facebook to find a message from my aunt, it went along the lines of;
'You're mam is back from hospital, she's okay but a little sore. She's disappointed that you haven't been in touch. You know you've only got one mam, you should show you care about her more' - my aunt never talks to me, this was her telling me I'm a rubbish daughter.

A little back story; my mother and I are estranged, she was very abusive during my childhood and teens (physically and emotionally), and then when I had to move back home as an adult she did the same only this time round she tried to kill me a couple of times - we never discuss what happened; I wonder if abusers know they're abusers or if they have some way of pretending it doesn't happen. Whenever we talk I make the mistake of trying to share something about me life but she totally ignores it, so on the rare occasions we try to stay in touch she's still not actually aware of what's happening in my life or involved at all.

I knew she was going into hospital at some point for a minor operation on her nose, I had no idea she had gone in recently so had no idea that I was supposed to contact her...I don't quite understand why I had to contact her at all, or how, or for that matter what the hell I was supposed to say. My family don't know what my mother was like, and they don't know I'm aspie, so I can half understand my aunt sending this message...but part of me wonders what the hell it has to do with her and what right has she to tell me off? I'm also thinking if I didn't know I was supposed to contact then why was it expected of me? Am I just being aspie-ish here and not realising that I was supposed to do something?

I just deleted the message, didn't reply or send anything to my mother.
Part of me is very mad and just wants to remove my family form Facebook and tell them to shove it, but if I couldn't do that to my mother I couldn't do it to them either, I just don't have the heart to cut them out of my life, they're still my family even if they've never acted like it.
Was I supposed to contact my mother? Am I supposed to be pretending we are like 'normal' mother and daughter?

I wouldn't have contacted her either, period. Even NTs feel the same way. Why keep in contact with someone who abused you growing up? I bet your aunt is just clueless about the whole thing.

I don't think you should be angry with your aunt. After all, she doesn't know your mother abused you. Personally, I would "out" your mother. Pick one of the worst things she ever did, and drop it into a conversation with your most gossipy relative. Boom.
I don't know if that's the best route for you or not, though; that's something only you know. If you do do that, just be ready for the proverbial poop to hit the fan. Which can be very liberating if you're ready for it.
In any case, it's not your aunt's fault.

I was abused too by my mother and i have cut off from her now
she was constantly harassing and was narcisstic
I think your aunt doesnt know about it
you could start telling people slowly
I have started telling people about my mother
and have forwarded some nasty sms from my brother to my uncle
so that relatives get a clear picture of what and how they actually are

i think you can honestly tell people about her behaviour that will clear your heart
and not bring you bad name also

I'd tell the aunt about the abuse and if she comes back with some shite then tell her to f**k off.

The best possible response would have been "I never had a mam. The woman who gave birth to me is abusive and her behavior in no way resembled mothering. I haven't met the person you are speaking of, and thus would not visit them in hospital."

And that would just set off a shitstorm of nonsense that accomplished nothing - so deleting the message without responding was the right move.

I'm sorry I missed this post when you posted it. I'd ignore that message. You don't owe anyone a justification for your decisions.