Do You Have A Carer ?

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I am wondering if it is a common experience for other adult aspies to have a carer?

I am 31 and have had a carer for the past three years. Before now it was my mother, although there were a lot of problems with abuse. There doesn't seem to be much that can be done about this, although I wish that there was.

I really struggle if I am left by myself, especially with depression and self harm as well as becoming confused and just not getting anything done.

don't you mean "care giver", carer sounds weird, unless someone thought you meant career, but forgot an e.

No not official type person. But I do have that circle of safe people around me. I guess you would call them my friends but it is much more. I have a huge desire to do the right thing, which helps getting things done related to paying bills or keeping my car legal. I do have a good job too. It took years and many stories like yours you shared in the bullying post to get it together. But if someone was a little mouse following me around I think they might see my life as extra simple. I do my routines and they help keep me ok and rested enough to go out in the world and pretend I'm normal. I call my friends in my circle sometime daily, or every other day and check in. I can be honest with them..tell them what is really in my mind..and give them the same time. They know I am sensitive and respectful of their time and I don't call when they are busy. I know their routines and they know I am much better just saying hi and maybe having a little laugh. I've given them full rights to be honest. They are allowed to be blunt and not talk or not talk long if they are busy. They are like my family and I'm not a burden. They know how it keeps me on track. I don't expect them to hold me up, I do that and get through my struggles. I bounce things off them and then go back and give my life the full effort. I also have a therapist. I've learned to wait, put things on hold and then get help when it is available. I am not someone they wish would go away because I'm helpless.

hope that helps

My upbringing made it necessary for me to learn independence quite young and led me to be rather fiercely independent, even though I do sometimes struggle with getting things done. As a result, I'm more likely to be a carer than to have one. I like to help people be able to do things for themselves, or see that they can even if they find it to be a challenge.

I learned to be independent quite young bcos my parents werent able to take care of me they were abusive
My hubby is there now but he is not much dependent and i have to sort out most of the things on my own
but he is helpful especially with the kid
i would be super confused if i was all alone, i make lot of mistakes, cant calculate and get very depressed

No, but my son will need a carer I'm sure when he's older..(well after we're gone), this thought is everpresent with me.

I never had a carer and didn't know what was making me struggle so much until my diagnosis a year ago. I'm constantly tired and get sick frequently from the stress that I get from stupidly simple things, e.g. I get sensory overload from walking through town for half an hour last Tuesday, then apart from meeting my college disability support officer for returning to college next September I didn't really do anything but housework for the rest of the week, but it was too much for me and I got more and more exhausted and sick until I finally vomited spectacularly yesterday.

I admit that I want a carer. I don't have money for one and I know that nobody would believe that I need one, but obviously if house chores and self-care are overwhelming in spite of having forced independence on myself for as long as I could, then that's not working and I need some other help. I have no energy for anything today as a result of being sick yesterday and it's all I can do to try control my frustration every single day. My boyfriend used to help me a lot but then he moved abroad (not too far thankfully, but still abroad!) to get work. I'm giving up on forcing things that don't work for me just to prove to the world that I am trying. It doesn't work and all it gains is exhaustion and sickness for me. I can't talk to my family about any of this because they would absolutely murder me if they knew I was thinking about getting more help to get by every day. I could spend my time absorbed in music and working towards a career if the things that I find difficult, but are easy for non-autistics, could be covered by someone else. I'm scared to ask about it because so far I don't feel like people believe I'm struggling as much as I am.

Sorry about the rant!

I don't have a carer exactly, but I've never lived alone. Right now I live with my closest friend, also an aspie, and we keep each other in check. I also have a couple of very good friends who understand my situation and will take me aside and point out to me if I do something wrong (teaching me new rules slowly over time) or answer my questions about whether something is appropriate. These friends also help me keep calm when I'm getting overwhelmed. I'm lucky enough to be very high-functioning, but the stress of trying to balance my entire life all alone does do me a lot of damage (horrible sleep problems and I'm often ill or simply shut down for a day or two) and I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have friends there to look out for me when that happens. I'm also lucky enough that my career is pretty flexible. I'm a private English teacher and I can usually reschedule lessons if I need to take a day off to recuperate.