Diagnosed as a senior?

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Hi, wasn't sure where to put this but figured that this would be the best place to get the audience that I'm looking for.

I'm pretty sure I have a form of ASD and plan on trying to get a diagnosis soon, but while talking about it with a relative, we realized that there are at least two other people in my family who could have ASD. Both were socially awkward, didn't like to socialize, had special lifelong interests, and worked in IT.

One of them is my father who is pushing 70 and his symptoms seem to be worse than mine are currently. He's the person that I want the most to see get diagnosed even if it meant no diagnosis for me so I can finally understand him. I never was sure if he loved me or not while growing up due to how he was. I would feel a lot better if he was diagnosed so I can come to terms with my childhood experiences and try to get closer to him again.

So, I wanted to see if there was anybody here that got a diagnosis at an older age (post-retirement or the like) and how you felt about it. And would this be a good idea?

I don't plan on bringing it up until I get a formal diagnosis, so it wouldn't be like yo dad, go to a psychologist! I think it'd be a bit easier for him to agree to talk to a doctor if I was diagnosed and he knew that there was a chance that I could have gotten it from him since I recall him telling me that I reminded him of when he was younger.

You're how old?

I don't know, I've thought about this with my dad who's in his 50s, but I figured it'd be best to just let sleeping dogs lie really. My dad's sorta figured out how to adapt, so an AS diagnosis wouldn't be terribly helpful for him. There's almost no services for working age adults, so I'm willing to bet there's absolutely none for retirement age adults.

For me anyway, if you get a formal diagnosis, tell your dad about it, and if he's like "Oh, I might have that" then bring up testing and see how he reacts.

But really, at age 70 I think it'd be utterly pointless on his end for a diagnosis, he's obviously lived a whole life, and I think you'd almost be doing him a disservice. He'd now be having to think he's different and everything for the rest of his life.

I could write a lot on this, and it's likely not what you want to hear, but I'd just let things stay the way they are. When you get your DX, tell your dad, if he's interested in a diagnosis or whatever, then go from there. If not, then, don't bother really.

I did and I certainly haven't regretted it. I've lost the feeling of guilt about the things I didn't achieve and realise now that I actually did as well as possible in the circumstances. Also, it was such a relief to know exactly what my problem was and that there are so many others like me.

I agree that when you get your DX, tell your father. He'll maybe think it over and decide to get a diagnosis.. It will be up to him.

Thanks guys Both of you made good points and I realized that I mainly wanted my dad to get a DX for mostly selfish reasons at first but it would help him if he's never felt like he was normal.

I'll definitely bring it up to him if I do get a DX, indiana brought up a good point about actually knowing what was wrong with yourself which is why I want to get a diagnosis for myself too. I don't think he'll actually go try get one if I tell him but maybe he'll surprise and go talk to a doctor.

My dad's 84, I made the diagnosis official when I was 54, and we discuss it a little from time to time.

There's explanatory power in the diagnosis, but not a lot of joy apart from that. I'm on a cultural jag at the moment - I want to live in a world where being an adult with aspergers isn't something to be ashamed of. There may be a few years of joy in that one, but I'm thinking between twenty years and a century to really lift the curtains. Undiagnosed adult autistics are obstacles to that cultural change, of course.