Who provided the most positive impacts on your life?

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As an adult who is as yet to seek a diagnosis, I am on the verge of receiving support for the most troublesome areas of my life, including help with parenting. And I am very nervous.

It helps that the practical support I was always too embarrassed to seek I may now get. And, I may get the benefit of compassion and understanding.

So I would like to know who have been the most influential people in your life? Who has raised you up.. taught you skills, ways of thinking, given you love where you needed/need it? Who has been instrumental to your success? Who has been the most patient and understanding? Parent? Sibling? Teacher? Doctor? Nurse? Phychologist? Neighbour? Friend? *insert relationship here"?

I think this will be a nice thread to acknowledge the people in our lives who have had positive impacts.

And, hopefully, your examples will help me to recognise my own "angels"-to-be.

SoundOfRain

My high-school geometry and physics teachers are my heroes. They recognized whatever talents I may have had, even though I had a lot of problems in high school and I wasn't exactly what most teachers would have considered promising. I give them much of the credit for the fact that I am now in college studying math, physics, and philosophy.

My teachers are also my heroes, especially my art teachers. The ones this year helped me get through a tough time in my life and treated me with the same respect as anyone else. I think it is rare to find a teacher that does those two things, after all we've had some bad teachers in our lives. Without them I wouldn't of purused art and gotten the love of art I have today.

My dad - no one else has ever been as supportive or kind or generous or helpful. He's a star.

Myself - by realising that by being determined and goal-focused one can surprise oneself every day!

My dad. He gave me concrete praise for real achievements, honest feedback, unconditional acceptance, and someone to talk to who could see the world from my point of view. Daddy taught me every good thing I know about how to live with AS, unknowingly, mostly by example.

My husband. He doesn't understand. I know he suffers a lot for being with me. But he sticks with me and handles the s**t I just can't deal with. I'd probably be living in a foxhole in the woods without him.

My best friend. I don't know what's wrong with him (I don't think it's AS-- his social and executive functioning skills are too good). He might be schizoid; whatever it is, "empathy" is a completely foreign concept to him, but "compassion" is not. I know I can always trust him to listen, and listen, and listen, and tell the truth, because although he likes me he does not give a damn about anyone's feelings. He's WONDERFUL!

oh wow, this is great. Thanks for your replies.

trissgutza and ashuahhe, it is great to hear how your teachers supported you You have reminded me of my own art teachers through school and college, and how it was my mind and skills that mattered and they fully supported my development and learning. I am grateful for them. Now I am independant I suppose it's now surprise that I am relying on my art skills.

Dreamsofa and buyerbeware, I am touched to hear that your Dad's have been so fantastic loving and kind. My Dad has been gone for 6 years now and I miss him. He was a simple kind smart man, and very tolerant

mishmash, I am intrigued. Being determined and goal-orientated. Sounds good. Tell me more of your story???
I am finding it hard to stick to my master plan! I have a lovely son who is a priority right now, so it's tough trying to get on with "project thrive" let alone "project survive" he he!

Ooh I like this thread it is making me smile.

soundofrain

My late father in law. He was a very smart, well respected, powerful, successful man, but he was also very down to earth and judged people by their character rather than circumstances and outward appearances. He always took time to hear everyone out, then considered everything before making a decision. If he listened to you, he listened with an open mind. He was forthright and you knew exactly where you stood with him, because he didn't lie. He also, was never mean or rude. I never saw him angry in all the years I've known him and all the headaches my husband and I put him through when we first married.

He treated me with respect, and courtesy, as if I were his social, intellectual and moral equal, which I was not. He made me want to be more. He made me want to make him proud. He set the bar higher for everyone who's life he ever touched, and he touched many, both average people and powerful people. He expected others to keep their word and do what they said they would do, or at least try as hard as they could. Because he expected it, and not in a demanding way, most people went out of their way to cooperate with him. If you asked a favor of him, he would take your request under real consideration. He wouldn't just tell you he would think about it then forget it. He would research the situation if need be, to find out if the favor you asked was something that would benefit you, or him if you included his interests in your proposal. If he declined to help you, it wasn't because of a personal reason or that he didn't want to get involved or take risks, it was because he truly believed that what you had asked was not the right thing to do.

Take risks he did. Many. Physical, financial, and emotional, even though he rarely showed much emotion. He would invest his trust and his friendship in anyone who asked for it. Even though he was disappointed several times by unscrupulous people, he never sought revenge or even spoke of the events in anger. If something fell through he was the first to say "I should have thought about it more, I made the decision and I take the blame" even though it was not his fault. Don't get the impression that he was a little old man who got the wool pulled over his eyes by con men, that never happened to him. He was very mild mannered, but he could always spot a lie. When a deal he made fell through, it truly fell through due to luck or circumstance, not swindlers.

Even though he had held a very powerful position, once he retired he moved to the country and spent his days doing volunteer work for organizations and his church. Even when he gave fnancially to a local charity, he would always offer to physically help. He didn't have to help paint the fence in a community park, but he chose to, because he said it was the right thing to do, as he was part of the community. He was generous with his money, his time, his sweat and his prayers. He spent his days doing work in the yard and around the house, when he could have easily hired a gardner and a contractor. He wanted to do it, not only because he enjoyed it and to make sure it was done right, but because he felt that it was his responsibility. He was the most responsible person I have ever met on the face of this earth. He was the most caring and giving human being I will ever meet, I believe.

I had not been diagnosed with Aspergers when he was alive. We didn't know that my lack of ability to handle frustration and large amounts of stress were anything other than me "not wanting to". My father in law never treated it that way. He never treated me like something must be basically wrong with my character because I'd say or do the wrong thing from time to time, or because I might get very passionate about something that I cared about. He respected the fact that I "spoke my mind" as he called it, and did so without apology, even though most of the time it was without tact as well. He admired the dedication I had toward my husband and family and those I cared about. He understood my pain and frustration when sometimes a cherished plan or dream vanished for me and I was back to square one. He always encouraged me and told me that I could do anything in this world I wanted to. He said he could see it in me. I told him I wanted to take care of my family, stay home with my children. Make my home a warm and inviting place. He told me that he knew that I would accomplish that, he had faith in me.

I've rambled on too much about him, but I'd like to sum it up by saying that I suppose the difference in him was that many, many people in my life pretend to treat me as an equal, but if you look closely you can see behind the facade. My father in law truly considered me an equal, as he did everyone else. Someone in his position could have rested on his laurels and looked down his nose on the world, but he did not. He felt no one could or should look down on anyone else. And to have a person like him, clearly in many ways, vastly superior to me, treat me as an equal, made him more superior than anyone I have ever met.

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I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA.

The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com

OliveOilMom, your late father-in-law sounds like a great and respected man. The way you talk about him made me smile and reminded me a lot of my granddad (my mum's dad) who was very supportive of me when he was alive and was held in great respect by his loved ones, friends and community. He held many of the values you describe your late father-in-law as holding and, if they had met, I think they would have been great friends.