Undiagnosed until adulthood: Reflections on this

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I remained undiagnosed until my mid-thirties. I remember that it was such a relief to have a cohesive explanation for the quirks and problems of my life until than. Over the years I had developed this "life story" about why I was the way I was. I had come up with all these theories, incidences from my past, possible mental illnesses. I went to psychiatrists and got all kinds of medication, but nothing was able to change the fundamental me. Once I come across AS, which thinking back I cannot remember, and started reading people experiences, thought and feelings, I felt such relief; I felt like I was no longer alone, at least in a global context. The end result is that I was able to abandon all the former constructs of my life (not all at once, still working) and make real progress toward happiness in my life.

Those are my initial reflections at 7am on a Saturday. Please don't flame me if this topic has been done before (I KNOW there's a search function! (lol)

I am undiagnosed. The best thing for me was on-lines tests and reading books. Look for Asperger's books on Amazon. Especially in the workplace. What a relieve. Take charge of your destiny, I think it is all positive.

Been misdiagnosed in the past. Now I can look bad from childhood and say this is why. Asperger's was not even on the radar in the 70's. I am 49 years old now and successful in business. The books have been a great help to me.

My story is similar. I was 45 when a friend's son was diagnosed with AS, so he started reading up on it. He called me and said, "Uh Mike, this is you!". It was such a relief/surprise when I started to read about AS and found that all my quirks had a common cause. It was also amazing when I came to WP and started reading things from people who had the same feelings and experiences that I had (first time THAT has ever happened!). Understanding what the problems are has made all the difference. It would have been nice if it happened 25 years earlier, but better late than never.

I'm on the road to diagnosis after pursuing many other alternatives. Like the OP, I had always come back to not being able to change the real me. So if I get this diagnosis it would just be "official" as I already identify as an Aspie. The hard part is understanding how you can be easy on yourself, I think. Growing up and all along thinking I'm broken, something's fundamentally WRONG with me... leads to an unhealthy sense of self; so in that sense, it will be a huge relief to finally know it's not psychiatric. (or if it is, that would be a relief too in it's own way, but it would baffle me)

My experience parallels yours. All my life i referred to myself as a 'social ret*d', so when I was diagnosed, it really took a load off my back. I was recently accepted in Mensa. I did that , not to stroke my ego, but to assure to myself that I have (had) worth in my life. It's a bit late for me to use my 'blessing' for any worth, as I'm 65, but , hey !..... I was diagnosed about 8 years ago. As a young teen I went to a psychiatrist every week. If I'd have been diagnosed then, I could have 'productively' directed my life.

I was remembering back to high school when my gym teacher said I walked like I had a stick up my butt. Now apparently I walk with kind of a strut. I don't realize it and it's not something I do on purpose. I think other people think I am stuck up because of it. I still randomly get off balance, walking or sometimes just standing. So that comment on my "odd gait" was a clue when I found out about AS a few years ago.
I got in to Mensa too. I am kind of on and off with keeping my membership active. I haven't really seen any benefit to it and it just seems to make dumd people angry! j/k
I felt like I was doing OK in childhood with friends. I had a few that I would play with outside, but I would always spend a lot of time on my own too. I think in junior high when the hormones hit is when the social awkwardness really kicked in. My friends we dating, making out, probably having sex, and it was frustrating for me because I just couldn't figure things out. I have been married twice (never again) and I don't even remember what I did to attract those women. I think they found enough interest in me to make it easy. Things quickly broke down though because of my high frustration level that only gets worse when I can't have time alone to decompress. Neither of them could understand that and both took it very negatively. Live and learn.

My life story too,Maer

I was diagnosed as a small child, but my parents kept it from me. My husband and I looked in to it a few years ago and thought I definitely had Asperger's. When I brought it up with my mom she confessed to keeping it from me, but I had to drag it out of her. I remember the evaluations and an IQ test, but no one ever told me what it was all for and when I asked I was dismissed.

It's been great to know and try and understand myself. It's certainly helped my marriage. However, I think I wouldn't have struggled so much as a teen if I had known and been able to look into it myself. I think my parents were against it because of the stigma. My mom and sister both have it as well, but my my ignores the fact and I'm not sure if my sister knows. She was a harder case than I.

Since I found out I've made huge amounts of progress. I still struggle on a daily basis but it inhibits my functioning a lot less. My husband is also more accommodating because he understand what's going on with me.