Hello,
To begin with, I'm currently lacking any formal diagnosis. When I first began school, there was apparently a good deal of debate over whether I was Gifted or Delayed. I would be monosyllabic with therapist/educator A and quite chatty with therapist/educator B. Then they discovered that I was reading at a high level pre-K, so glossed over with a vague hyperlexic, socially delayed, auditory processing disorder assessment. I was stuck in the gifted program (Which, in my tiny town, consisted of myself and one other kid), and since I never had much problem academically, nothing further was pursued.
I currently have a good facade built up. I'm 38, and clearly by this point in life a person has learned some accommodations. At the same time, I've been a chronic underacheiver, had repeated difficulties in relationships, and on any given day I'm not sure I'm doing ANY of this right. *heh*
I was married recently (Be two years in November), and my wife is well aware how dreadful I am with emotional reciprocity and/or cues and she's quite understanding -- Though I do frustrate her with regularity. I get along great with her kids for the most part, although their sibling interactions -completely- baffle me. (You're fighting all the time. Yet you seem to like one another. Uh.... )
In any case, I'd considered AS before, and now that I'm in a place where my life isn't quite so chaotic, I've been taking some steps at looking into what else I can do for myself. There's absolutely room for improvement.
I came across the AQ test, and got a 42. Thinking I was maybe overstating some things, I went back and took a more careful trip through it -- 39. Huh.
Trying to find a clinician in my area that is covered by my insurance hasn't been particularly productive. I'm also wondering to what degree a formal diagnosis would be useful, if at all. I'm liking a lot of what I read on here, seeing my own weird traits reflected back at me is somewhat relieving. Some stuff doesn't fit -- Just for an example, the body proprioception/physical clumsiness. I have excellent hand-eye coordination and body proprioception. HOWEVER, my parents placed me in martial arts when I was young (For self-discipline/anger management), and I spent 20+ years doing that... Clearly some coordination would be learned, so it's tough to say what I'd be 'naturally', there.
Stims, I can think of plenty. Perserveration, definitely. Insomnia, chronic and lifelong. Figuring people out? Never have.
Although, I HAVE developed some great ability with... ah, I guess superficial charisma. I can get -almost- anyone to like me. I can make a great first impression. But, as I said -- I'm 38, and have no friends, so you can see it all falls apart at some point.
That's enough rambling for now, so just -- Hello.
Edit to Add: And I just -immediately- stuck this in the wrong forum. Sehr gut.
18 Jul 2012, 2:30 pm
