Independant living and prolonged social isolation

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I've been living on my own for nearly 1yr and have discovered it's not quite what it's cracked up to be. I've found it incredibly easy to get socially isolated and just waste way too much time. I've gotten real depressed, anxious, etc. Now it's getting better because every day, I challenge myself to be productive for at least 10 minutes (cleaning apt, washing dishes, cooking, socializing, etc).

Anybody else experience this?

Yes. First time I lived alone, no roommates or anything, was the most depressing time of my life. Hard as it can be to deal with other people, that time taught me that I really do need them around to keep me sane.

Moved to a new city where I didn't know anyone. Had saved enough money the previous couple of years that I didn't need to find work right away, so I pretty much hid in my apartment for the first 6 months or so. Only went out at night to take long drives. Didn't talk to anyone, at all, for several months. No friends, no contact with family.

But it motivated me. Depression, loneliness, got so bad I realized it was time to either off myself or get out there and do something about it. So I did. Managed to get myself a circle of friends, meet some girls, still not sure how I did it. Felt good though, these were the first friends I'd met on my own, rather than people who felt obligated to spend time with me because of some other reason.

Being pushed out of my comfort zone helped. Made me stronger, more capable. Instead of retreating and whining to my family or the couple "friends" left over from school about how no one liked me every time I failed socially, I learned how to get up brush myself off and try again. Most useful skill I've ever learned, and it was being completely alone that forced me to learn it.

I spent most of my life living with various relatives, and it was horrible. For the past 6 1/2 years I have been living alone, and it is SOOOOO much better for me. My stress levels have gone way down, and it is easier for me to manage my constant low grade depression. I am a hermit type, so I don't mind not having friends. I do say hello to the neighbors, and talk to people when I run errands, and also maintain some contact with family members, but my solitary home is my peaceful, and low stress haven.

It was a little unsettling to be totally alone when I first moved here, because there were no sounds of other family members moving around in the place or yelling at one another. I liked it that way, though, and just needed to have the radio or music on to help me fall asleep for a few weeks. I had actually been alone for several months before the move, first for a month in a homeless shelter after a relative kicked me out. Then I was camping out in a decrepit fixer upper that should have been condemned. It belonged to the relative who kicked me out. Other relatives had got on his case about what he did, so he let me stay there for 3 months after I had to leave the shelter. It had a one month limit for staying there. I don't know what the shelter staff expect homeless people to do after the shelter kicks them out. Anyway, some other relatives bought a trailer in another state, not far from where they live, for me to live in. Once I qualified for assistance in that state I was able to pay rent. The other state doesn't like to give cash assistance unless you are an addict, or have kids, or are about dead. My health problems didn't count with them. So I am better off in the state I am currently living in. The staff at this state's assistance office were nicer and more helpful.

I really prefer living alone to living with other people, so I don't have a problem with it.

Living alone has its good and bad points. I've spent many years being homeless. A lot of times it was just me and whatever car I had at the time. There was a time when it got really bad that I did try to commit suicide. They brought me back and I spent 2 months in a psych hospital after that. At times the loneliness can tear you apart. The nice thing about being alone is you can go to sleep whenever you want without interruption. You can wear the same clothes day after day, sit around drinking beer and playing video games and not have someone nagging you about stuff. I am missing out on choice concerts & movies & restaurants, but you can't have it all.

The first year I spent living independently I got completely isolated and depressed. Since then I have lived alone most of my life but without getting completely isolated and depressed like that, or maybe I've just got used to being ALMOST completely isolated. Anyway, now I like living on my own because it feels really free and unpressured and I like that. It is important to find the level of social contact that feels right for you.

I have also been living alone for almost 1 year. I now enjoy living alone, but might eventually get tired of it. I do have a job five days a week, and a Meetup group that I enjoy on a regular basis. I agree with Halligeninseln, that everyone needs to find the right level of social contact for themselves. I find that keeping up with the house maintenance is important for my mood, but if I can figure out some new strategy for living that my mood is boosted even more. From what Halligeninseln wrote, it might get easier to stay upbeat after about a year. I hope so. I do stay upbeat most of the time as it is.

I currently live with 4 other adults, and we have lots of guests pretty regularly. I'm looking to get my own place, but I also worry a bit about not having someone around. I know that I will have to take more responsibility for my own socializing with others, as they will no longer be easily accessibly by simply walking into the living room periodically. I didn't have any trouble inviting people over or going out when I had my own place on the college campus, and I think once I adjust I should do well again, but I know that I probably would do better with at least one roommate, which would also help with budgeting.

First time I lived alone I was out more than often because I needed to be around people. Not necessarily interact with them, just have them around. Kept me from going nuts!

I'm used to being alone - single-parent family with a mother who didn't connect with me, and when living with my ex-partner and flatmate they were messy so I often escaped to the bedroom - so being alone isn't too much of a problem.

BUT social isolation is a problem because I'm unemployed and have been for over four years now - I have to be constructive all the time to be happy, so suddenly going from 60+ hours work then outside of work interests to suddenly having nothing at all to do was hell. I try to stay constructive with housework, decorating, geocaching, and attempt to be social as much as possible (attempting volunteer work but no takers so far, I'm in a social group for aspies that meet once per month, I have a boyfriend and see my boyfriends friends occasionally) - however being alone and with no structure to my day it's hard to keep myself doing these things and not losing myself online, obviously it's hard to try to keep-up the social side of things without any money and with losing many of my friends.

once i wrote: "To be lonely is to experience solitude as a victim."

i didn't get my own place until i was, what, 28, so i rather relished not having to interact in my off-work hours. it felt blissful. i was able to be quite productive, & if the certain amount of energy i put into unsuccessful relationships didn't leave me with a bitter taste, i would have been perfectly happy...

another time i spent a month or so, living on the beach in the Puget Sound area. i might go days without seeing another human being. i preferred it that way. i thought i was supremely fortunate.

it's not that i don't appreciate other people; far from it. but it's kind of like having a dog that wants to play chase-the-ball, & who never stops trying to get you to play it, every hour of the day. and multiply that by a thousand.

i just rather wouldn't.

I have a great deal of company in the house, especially in the morning when nobody calls.
Henry David Thoreau

I have never found a companion that was so companionable as solitude. We are for the most part more lonely when we go abroad among men than when we stay in our chambers. A man thinking or working is always alone, let him be where he will.
Henry David Thoreau

A table, a chair, a bowl of fruit and a violin; what else does a man need to be happy?
Albert Einstein

I live in that solitude which is painful in youth, but delicious in the years of maturity.
Albert Einstein

Think of alone time as a chance to improve or expand yourself and enjoy yourself beyond the bounds of your friends and relatives prejudices. Besides that, enjoy the freedom from somebody's demands and expectations. Enjoy your freedom and kick yourself in the butt to accomplish those projects and passions you have thought about.

I have lived on my own since 1996. I feel there are times (especially recently) when it gets slightly lonely. This is a very minor problem if at all because in all those years, I have never felt any acute loneliness because of living alone. I have the amount of social contact I need to prevent that ever happening.

Co-habiting with any future partner I ever meet would be desirable some day - I haven't been in that position before. Other than that, living alone is the right arrangement for me. I would have great difficulty adapting to anything else especially after living with my parents and not coping, and then having to share flats as a student which I also didn't cope with.

I remember last semester in college, after my roommate moved out. It was kind of soul-crushing, actually, even though I had some friends who I could hang out with. That was mostly because it was hard for me to get around. Driving in a college town means either getting a parking permit or getting your car booted, both of which were more expensive than my parents were willing to pay. and I lived on top of a mountain, so walking was a no go. I had to sit in my room pretty much all day after getting back from class, and with a judicious admixture of AS and OCD, that's about as fun as petting a porcupine backwards.

At least next semester I'm probably not going to have to deal with that. I'll have a roommate, and I'll be closer to civilization. Never want to live so far off the beaten path again, though.

I live alone too for the most part. My family still supports me, but I could fend for myself. While it is an accomplishment I can be proud of, I don't feel it's worth bragging about. I'm not a bragger in general unless I feel it's necessary for survival or getting that job, etc. I work more than my hours for my job because it requires that. While I do get kind of lonely sometimes, I have so much to do that finding something to do or entertain myself is never a problem. I try to meet new people by doing things here and there and/or trying new things once in awhile. I take my time with it. Every little bit helps.

I just recently moved back in with my parents. It's all right. Fortunately I have the whole basement to myself, but it can get kind of overwhelming, for many reasons... footsteps above me, noises, pressure to socialize, petty fights... but for the most part, it's good. I, however, can't wait to move out again.

I lived alone for a while, and I loved it for the most part, but I was drinking heavily at the time and became extremely isolated. I've had roommates before, but most of those experiences were TERRIBLE. I think I've just had bad luck.

I had one roommate I really got along with. We'd do things like sit around together in our underwear, eating chicken and mayonnaise and watching fantasy movies. Hell yes. Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on your perspective), she had a child, and so now any future co-habitation is out.

I do love living alone, but I need to make the effort to have people over. I think I'd prefer to have one roommate - someone who kept to themselves for the most part, just to have another presence in the house... either that, or a dog.

I've been living alone for five years (almost 30), and the first year was awfully depressing.
I guess it's just a stress reaction to all the changes of moving out.

I've been on a waiting list for almost two years for a more sheltered, Aspergers specialized living form.
Basically you get your own rental appartment, but you there's one person on call for most of the morning and in the afternoon and early evening to call upon.
(8 flats for Aspies, 8 where NT's live and one is converted to an office for the person on call. To encourage socializing they organise group stuff and eat together twice a week).

I just know I'd be much happier getting to talk to someone a few days a week, maybe every day if I can cope with that much stimulation