What i can do with that?

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I desire social but i think will all years of solitude i lost my ability to socialize and plus i now hate all things like news parents,pregnancy,new girlfriends/boyfriends and enjoy others pain,broke up and they physical pain when see them suffer on TV news. Why? that i fall very low or i'm just anti-empatic or just an complete bastard? Why i only have empathy for fictional character i see on video games or TV show? They don't really exist an i prefer them to real person? I admit i have an problem somewhere but don't know where or why. Oh i must precise that more peoples suffers or are in problems(a few persons are exception)more i'm happy and in good mood .... more peoples are happy and good things happens to them more i'm bitter,sad and fustrated

Perhaps it's a form of envy for what other people have, that you don't, so on a certain level you wish bad on them because of it. Then, when some are having a bad time, you feel glad about it--kind of gloating over their bad fortune, as a way of getting even with them for what you don't have.

Just remember, none of this envy or gloating will get you what you don't have, but as long as you keep it to yourself--don't actually engage in hurting others--you are welcome to what seems like a warped form of coping method.

It sounds like you were hurt over time and, thus, withdrawl from others. I feel that way too, at times. I "try" not to dwell on the past.

I used to feel happy when something bad happened to someone and made them frustrated. I didn't understand why, but now I think that for me it was comforting to see other people getting frustrated because of how frustrated I felt so often.

I mentioned somewhere that for me social interaction is like exercising and being in shape. If I don't build up the social skills and keep working on them on a daily basis I'm not socially "fit".

Is there any way for you to start seeing a cognitive behavioral therapist? If that's too much to start with, maybe you could try researching it and practicing it on your own (feedback from others is very helpful though). CBT is a method for analyzing your thoughts, throwing out the thoughts that aren't valid and finding better thoughts to replace them with. It works well if you have illogical/distorted/irrational thoughts. There are several types of thought distortion, and I was surprised to see how many of them I get caught up in on a regular basis.

Changing one's attitude and behavior is exactly the opposite of "easy", especially after living with years and years of a certain way of thinking. I had no idea how hard it would be when I started trying. I couldn't think of a more difficult thing to do, and I would rather run 10 miles every day and not have to be on constant alert to not think in a warped, depressed, hopeless way. But if I don't, I'm going to be stuck.

J-P are you unhappy with the way you are and are you trying to be "normal" ? Perhaps you should cut yourself some slack and give yourself some credit.

I find myself to be much like your first post in this thread. Some of us refer to me as a bastard, literally and alliteratively, but it also can be attributed to my Aspie status and proud AS talents.

I find that I don't care to be "cured" so that I may immigrate to this planet. Just visiting this planet. I am what I am and that all what I am. (Popeye)