A sorrow Like Me-Adulthood sucks

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When I was younger I thought being awkward was a matter of not understanding because I was a kid. I had little friends and I assumed it was because of how I looked, or because I talked too much and wore glasses. So I have spent most of my life just trying to be friendly and please people, but the skills I have developed do not stand to close scrutiny.
The older I have become the worse things are for me socially, and in the world in general. I can’t hold a job successfully for long periods of time. I can learn rather quickly but only if the subject is of great interest to me. I have really hard time with math, but I can understand text books for history and art and even sociology very well. I can know enough about a subject to talk about it, but this never really ends well because people tend to be disinterested in statistical and procedural information.
No one wants to hear Wal-Mart re-stocking polices, for example when they wonder why an item is out and usually can’t help myself to respond that way, because it is what I know of the subject.
You share information when you talk. Yet this doesn’t seem to be enough.
My friends think I am completely normal, if not eccentric and rude most of the time and immature. That I refuse to try new things without being argued into it, etc.
Worst of all is my certainty that I am within the spectrum and their reactions when I brought it up. One of them thinks I am trying to find a scapegoat, the other than I am trying to piggy back other’ people’s real problems and that it is disgusting. I can’t even use this site without them being mad at me, so I do it when I am alone.
I picked up the habit of drawing this past few months, because writing has become repeptitve and stopped being stress reliving. I make a deviart account and started posting my stuff. My roomates/family think that it means that their opinions of my work aren’t enough for me so I stopped using it. I have even been told that, though my pictures are eye pleasing they are not impressive. That hurt.
Every time I think of autism I think, no one will ever believe that I misconstrue things on accident or that being focused on something disintegrates the whole world or that I really did not recognize they were bored with my conversation.
I look happy and upbeat all the time and cry when no one is looking.
Being female makes things so much worse for me!
I had to have a female exam for the first time ever last week and I almost died a little. I was embarrassed that I did not know the procedure and had never had it done or thought about it at 29 years old. I did not feel physically pried, it was a medical exam. But I was nervous because it had never happened to me and embarrassed because I did not think about ever getting examined and because I was alone in the office with strangers. Two doctors, one female and a female nurse.
I feel alone, all the time. And when I want to be alone I get accused of being a separatist, of not wanting to spend time with my friends, of “hiding” behind a sketchbook. I do not read much anymore because my roommates insist that part of my immaturity and loose grip on reality, as they call it, is the fact that I read so much fiction and the same books more often than not.
I have little to talk about with them that they have not already heard, so I usually don’t start conversations. When they do, I try to add stuff in, but it is usually a disaster.
I am so very sad, all the time, that no one wants to recognize my autism. Sadder still of what they think.
“You could not be professional if you had autism, you could not write well if you had autism.”
I told them there are lots of autistic authors!
They say, they have friends family and lots of editors to work with their work, they cant do it alone.
I can’t fight them.
My meltdowns are not meltdowns because “meltdowns don’t last only 5 minutes then you are over it”
I usually cry a lot, but only when I am alone. I cried while I was writing this.
Why are women dismissed so quickly and why do people expect so much more of girls?
I hate hearing “He is a dude, yeah he is going to not think things through all the time, but you are a woman and I expected better you are capable of better”.
Or worse yet “I have seen you be polite and friendly with strangers, why can’t you treat me the same?”
“You have a selfish problem not a medical problem”
That is the worst one.
Sorry this was so long. I guess I would like to get to know women I can relate to.

I'm not sure about your individual reactions, but I don't think a meltdown has to be a particular amount of time. If something happens, and it is done on a regular basis, then it would probably qualify as one. If only 1-3 have occurred in your life time, then it might be considered a mini-meltdown (?)

If you have reactions which could potentially threaten someone else physically or mentally, then I will say the responsibility falls on you to find ways to prevent these issues from occurring.

One challenge hard for anyone, but especially non-NTs, is to do things they are not used too or not good at. It takes time, but besides what you like to do and what you're used to, it's good and sometimes necessary to try something you haven't done before. Mix it up-do some things you're familiar with and maybe at least one or two things you are not familiar with. Travel or try new foods if you have an opportunity, read and watch some news and form your own opinions, some could be stuff you like, and some should be stuff maybe you don't like so much. With time, you will be able to relate to things that other people can be more cohesive with, but still be your individual self too.

If you live near a big city, look for a social group.

Your friends sound dreadful. I'm really sorry to say that, but they do. They certainly don't sound like friends! They're treating you terribly by deciding they're not going to recognise you for who you are, instead insisting you fit into a narrow and very unimaginative model of how they think young women should be. At worst, they sound like self-centred bullies. Real friends aren't like that.

I wonder if you'd make a better friend among slightly older, more mature people who understand a bit more about the world and a bit more about people. How did you come by your friends? Did you meet them through college, through a job, through a religious group? Reason I ask, is that I reckon you should think about other people, outside your friendship group, that you like or feel a connection with. If so, make an effort to cultivate them – whoever they are. I know making new friends isn't easy for people with AS; folks have to employ their own strategies and it takes time, but it's worth doing. (My personal strategy is to find friends who like talking a lot, as I don't! All the people I've been friends with my entire life have been talkative people, who're happy pick up my slack.)

You only need to make one real friend and your world will change. I know it's easier to be with people who are about the same age, as they tend to have similar interests and have the same life experience, but it doesn't matter if you can't find someone like this initially. It doesn't matter if they're 94 years old, as long as they're genuine and they'll accept you for who you are. Once you have that support, the person will help you find strategies for explaining to those in your own social group about Asperger's and about it feels to live inside your skin. They'll help you be more assertive about this, and not allow people to react as if your Asperger's is somehow a matter of their opinion.

You will find someone who's prepared to be friends with YOU and not a social stereotype. It might take longer than you'd like, but please believe it: you will. Some things about being young are painful, but it doesn't go on forever. In the meantime, I hope your selfish, immature 'friends' read this...although I know they probably won't. Sadly. I'm sitting here feeling furious with them.

Your friends sound horrible.
Find some new friends if you can. You have every right to be you, and explore whatever interests you have.
Can you get an ASD assessment from somewhere?
Please know the problem in this relationship isn't with you, it's with your petty-minded, know-it-all friends.

My best friend is my only ride and tho she was supportive while we where in California where i got my initial PDD NOS diagnosis, when they changed it out here in LA state, she said she felt cheated and lied to and I do not want to bring this subject back up with her, ever again.

But her reaction doesn't make sense.

I am not a woman. I am a man. Having said that, if you change the gender of your OP from female to male, it could have been written by me. It sounds like you have more friends, however. I don't really have any except for ones that I talk to only a few times a year. My parents will never ever understand me, and they think I am dramatic and that I blow everything out of proportion. They don't understand proportion.

Rest assured, your problems are shared by both genders of Aspies-- at least in my case, that is.

And, yes, your friends sound like dreadful users that only want you to be what they want you to be. If they won't let you be yourself, then they really are not friends. Maybe that's why I don't have any friends, now that I think about it!

I hope you can cheer up a little bit and do a bit of something just for you... something that makes you happy. Just you. Sometimes that makes me feel better-- to go do something that I know I enjoy even though I have no one to enjoy it with. Also, I got a dog. That helped tremendously... my dog is so much better of a friend than any human has ever been. She's not a service dog, but she certainly provides a wonderful service to me by being there when I need her, when I want to have contact with another living being, when I want to not be alone.

So, go do something just for you. Tell me what happens as a result?