dealing with repercussions of a late diagnosis

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NOTE: Apologies in advance, this is in part a rant and part a plea for empathetic advice.

Is there anyone else whose life has been perhaps irreversibly damaged through a prolonged diagnosis?

In my case, I went through school without any meaningful access to information on autism. I was pretty much labelled stupid, due to my ineptitude with certain subjects and kept in the remedial teirs of learning through much of my school careers. I particularly struggled with arithmetic due to my now suspected Dyscalculia. My times tables and algebra would appear jumbled up and make as much sense to me as japanese.

Being put in the lower classes did more harm than good, because not only was it going to slow, but I now know they were still teaching through the wrong method.

As a result, I got low grades in my exams and been unable to find dignified work since. Its only been in the last couple of years that i've had internet access along with the reassessment of the autism spectrum that i've had the knowledge to seek a diagnosis and help. Now in my early 30's I'm stuck in a call centre where the asinine work nature coupled with sensory overload is affecting my health and now am struggling to make something of myself. Anyone else stuck in a similar rut? What are you doing to get out of it? Have you been in this situation and got out? What worked for you?

help...please....

Thread moved from Adult Autism Issues to In-Depth Adult Life Discussion

Is there some other profession you would like to work in?

Are you able to reskill?

I wish I could help but I am in much the same boat. I didn't become proficient in basic math skills until my late 20's or early 30's, yet I have also been able to pass college level calculus. I have a high IQ (depending on the test) but deliver pizza for a living. I am in my late 30's and just coming to grips with the fact that I most likely have Asperger's as it describes much of the pattern of my life fairly well.

My next step will probably be a formal diagnosis but I am also doing other positive things to make my life better. Since I now know what limitations I possess, I can now make adjustments to mitigate the issues that make my life hard to deal with. I am getting rid of my excessive number of vehicles that I can't afford to maintain, I now live alone, and have started limiting the obligations I agree to in order to alleviate my stress. Once I have finished this phase, I can move on to the next one and finish college. I was hoping to do that this fall but I know that taking on another source of stress without first eliminating some of the current ones will be a recipe for disaster. So, I will do it when I can.

I was diagnosed this year aged 41. I am on disability for "mental health problems", for which read undiagnosed ASD leading to difficulties with depression, anxiety and coping with the world.
I have only worked seven weeks in my adult life, though I have done a lot of voluntary work and courses.
Working in a call centre sounds deeply stressful. Now you've been diagnosed, can you see the Disability Officer at the job Centre to ask for advice on how to obtain more suitable work? Or go to see your doctor?

I am convinced that aspeism was at the root of all my diagnosed depressions, disorders and addiction issues. I clawed my way out several times only to find that until I learned things that I would go backwards real fast. Small things like not pushing my glasses back using my middle finger when talking with someone or doing the eye thing to "show interest". These learning experiences only came about when things were going into the toilet. If you have any chance to try a new job give it consideration. Keep in mind that the greener grass on the other side may be because of a healthy amount of manure as fertilizer. Hopefully you can get something out of this.

Bill

Bill, why were you supposed to push your glasses back using your middle finger? What were you doing instead?

unfortunately, having a high IQ doesn't necessarily correlate with having a high-paying, well-respected job. it can make you miserable, though, if you think it's good for things you can't make it do.

i couldn't pass calculus if my life depended on it. i sat through a stats class in high school where the most i ever was able to do was to write my name on the test. i was totally and completely baffled. none of it made - or still makes - any sense. fortunately, in the 30+ years since i finished high school i've never once needed any of that for my survival.

what i did need was social skills, the ability to put structure on my life, the ability to break tasks down into manageable bits. and a heck of a lot of self-confidence that i didn't have for years.

the structure thing would be my first advice to you. sort out what it is you want. write it down. then look at what is needed to get to that point. write it down. then break it down into steps and start methodically doing a step at a time. not knowing how to do a step just means there are steps-within-the-step that you need to address. it's all doable, it just take a lot of time, effort, and preserverance. (sp?). that's one thing we are good at as aspies - doing the one-foot-in-front-of-the-other thing and just keeping going.

you want it, you go for it. if it is too much work, you don't want it. that badly, anyway. go on to plan b. you learned things doing the first drive towards your goal that you can use for future efforts. screw-ups are learning experiences. use them.

good luck.

I was new to wearing glasses and I never even noticed how I was pushing them back until I did notice it. In my mind, using the longest finger was the right way to go about it. In my mind the action was not meant to convey anything and I used that finger all the time, not selectively with certain people. So could it have been subliminal, maybe. Mostly I did not realize it. Once realized conformity followed.

Did people mind? I've just been trying it and it doesn't look weird to me, or like it's giving someone the finger. Maybe it's in the way you do it though.

I wasn't diagnosed until I was 15, which probably doesn't seem that late to many people, but for me it was too late, as I was depressed and self harming. As a result I completed none of my exams and have no qualifications at all. I'm married, and I have kids and I don't have to work as my husband does, but I would like to, and it's quite frustrating knowing I will have to take a really sh***y job because I can't afford more education. It's no use being intelligent if you have no qualifications to prove it. I can't offer any advice really, but a bit of sympathy perhaps.

I didn't / don't think that it was weird but I was having difficulty with an individual and one day after a meeting I noticed that I had done this and thought that it might be disrespectful. Maybe was maybe not but I use only my pointing finger now to adjust my glasses this way. After a while and changing some other behaviors I did get along better with this individual which was a must happen at the time.

Well, whatever it was, it's good that the relationship improved.

Yea, it's crap learning that way though. I'm 50 learning things that should've be second nature.

If they'd been second nature we wouldn't have been aspie

I've had a fairly similar experience. I was diagnosed with AS when I was 21. In high school most of my teachers really didn't get me so I was placed in some classes which were somewhat below my abilities. Anyway, I managed to get into university and get accommodations for my AS and eventually graduated with a decent grade. It took me 5 years after graduation before I managed to get any sort of job and even my current job is one in which I would be overqualified. it is a sad state of affairs having to wait longer than my NT peers to get a job and even those with worse grades than me seem to be employed in better roles.