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Summer_Twilight
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19 Sep 2012, 7:35 am

One of the things that I have to admit is that I am VERY angry with a close friend right now because she has not seemed to be respecting me as a person and a friend. In the last month, she has seemed to push me away and treat me differently. For instance, I noticed that she sent another friend of hers a post card while she was on vacation and I did not get one. This was in addition to cutting our visits shorter after not following through on what she committed to. She has also been leading me around on things as well in addition to ignoring me. I really feel like she is pushing me away while feeling as if she does not really like me.

Part of me would love to call her up and yell nasty things on their voice mail system but I know I can't. I would also love to call her a bunch of names but I can't.
I would also love to prank call her and say silly things but I know that will make things worse as well.

I already asked her a few times but she seemed to blow me off with two different excuses.


How do I handle this without actually hurting her? How do you handle your anger and how do I put my foot down?



TallyMan
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19 Sep 2012, 8:11 am

Sounds like you both need some space from each other, otherwise the friendship might go up in flames.


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Summer_Twilight
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19 Sep 2012, 8:15 am

She just started acting funny with me and it really has been pushing my buttons.



saraip
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19 Sep 2012, 10:39 am

I think it is OK for you to make the decision to end the friendship, if that's what you want to do.
I personally am probably perceived as your friend is - I shut people out of my life when I am not feeling social or when I don't feel like being friends anymore. If you feel that angry with her, just tell her how you feel and that you don't wish to continue being friends. I hope you find other friends who make you feel more fulfilled instead.



Summer_Twilight
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19 Sep 2012, 10:42 am

Oh really? I somewhat feel like she is not interested in me anymore. I want to keep it going.



spaghedeity
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19 Sep 2012, 7:41 pm

this is, essentially, what happens to nearly every friendship I've ever had. I assume I must do something to initiate the withdrawal, but I've never been able to figure it out. I can pick out any number of bits of my personality that I know must be irritating or abrasive, but they're nothing new - I don't know if it's something I'm not seeing, or perhaps that there is a finite limit to how long people can tolerate my oddities. It is hard on me, because making friends is a difficult process for me, and losing them is very painful.

I don't have any advice to offer, only sympathy =/


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Summer_Twilight
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20 Sep 2012, 8:51 am

She did explain to me that:

1. The first one time she started cutting our conversations short, she cut me off with, "Well I have to run, my husband wants me to watch a movie with him." I asked her if I was doing anything wrong. She wrote me back and said that she felt like she was spending more time talking on the phone.

2. When she took off on me like that and was ignoring my phone calls, I asked if she was mad. She said no but seemed to change her story and said Joseph was getting mad at her for talking on the phone and said that she did not have time for her friends anymore. She said that her other friends were getting the same thing.

3. Then when she seemed to be playing games with me on my facebook messaging system by asking me a question and then ignoring my response, I called her out and said that I felt like she was not being a good friend. It was that she had been dumping on people all her life and did not feel like dumping on her friends anymore. So she felt like pushing all of us away.

To me, I really feel like she was using those as an excuse because she did not want to hurt my feelings by being upfront but I don't know.