Board index › Age/Gender related discussions › In-Depth Adult Life Discussion

Recognizing a family member with a possible ASD?

Page 1 of 1 [ 8 posts ] 

Previous topic | Next topic

Keniichi
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Jul 2011
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 617
Location: Spokane, WA

30 Aug 2012, 3:29 am

This is about my grandmother, some of my family members are pondering about whether shes on the spectrum or not?
Heres the things she was friends with boys when she was younger, had no problems dating (marriage is a different matter), went to parties, had obsessions, and was odd by girls. She was often blunt and had some trouble with figures of speech when she was younger..
However now it seems that shes outgrown possible ASD?
Shes had some abusive marriages(which she got out of!), she doesnt party, she doesnt talk/really hang out with people, still uses figures of speech(ancient ones at that) with ease, she has obsessions with reading, sewing, and going to church, and anyone whose opinion is different then hers is stupid. (Shes really smart as well, even though she didnt go to College or have any higher education, and came from a poor family). The only groups she does attend are Bible Study, Church things, and Sewing Club.
She also doesnt like shopping cause of the noise of the crowd(she has other sensory issues), however she still goes shopping like everyone else. She also is good at reading peoples body language, and tone of voice...She wasnt so good apparently when she was younger. (As in teenager/young adult years). She also raised 5 kids(siblings) nearly by herself and her own kids(which she didnt do 100 percent well on but she did her best given her circumstances)
Now my question is is she possibly on the spectrum? Its hard to tell cause of her age, and I dont really know any other people who are her age..(shes 65 now)


_________________
Keniichi


Aldran
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 20 May 2011
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 194

30 Aug 2012, 6:23 am

Is it possible shes on the spectrum? Of course.... Why would it not be possible? I could even say its likely, given what you've said about her, but you have to be aware that I only know what you've said about her and nothing more..... And people are very hard to get to know in the space of a paragraph or two of text....

Is it possible that any here can confirm or deny your beliefs, or diagnose her? No, I dont think so. Sorry bout that, but thats the problem with internet forums.... Real legitimate action outside of the virtual space is pretty much impossible without alot of leg work by at least 2 dedicated individuals.....

I would ask in return, why are you asking here? Im not trying to be patronizing or anything, Im just curious.....

Aldran



peterd
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Dec 2006
Age: 72
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,351

30 Aug 2012, 8:10 am

No, it's a fair question. You could study the roles of eye movement in her communications - that's the sort of thing that we learn to get by around but never do well. You could invite her to do online tests, they're sometimes informative. You could talk with here about autism, ignorance and adulthood, because engaging her interest and investigative skills might be a quicker and faster way to better knowledge.

You'd want to be careful, though. Learning about long standing disability we've been unaware of can be hard, and there's precious little can be done to ameliorate its effects after so long.



ChangelingGirl
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Sep 2007
Age: 38
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,640
Location: Netherlands

02 Sep 2012, 2:31 pm

The posts in this trhead make me wonder ot the OP: will it help your grandma if she knows she is an Aspie (eithe rthrough self-diagnosis of through professional evaluation)? I know for example tha tmy husband's grandfather was admitted to a psych ward someitme at hte end of his life, and there he asked if he could get the same diagnosis as his grandson (my husband, diagnosed Aspie but rejects the diagnosis now). This apparently helped him (he was diagnosed Aspie indeed).

ON the other hand, I reocnigze autism in my father, much younger than my husband's grandfather, but I don't see a reasonfor him to get evaluate dfor uaitm or even to self-diagnose. He functions fairly well, and and ca n't stan dpsychiatrization, so he did everything he could do show that he wasn't autistic and neithe rwas I when I was in my evaluation process.



Keniichi
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Jul 2011
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 617
Location: Spokane, WA

05 Sep 2012, 4:08 pm

ChangelingGirl wrote:
The posts in this trhead make me wonder ot the OP: will it help your grandma if she knows she is an Aspie (eithe rthrough self-diagnosis of through professional evaluation)? I know for example tha tmy husband's grandfather was admitted to a psych ward someitme at hte end of his life, and there he asked if he could get the same diagnosis as his grandson (my husband, diagnosed Aspie but rejects the diagnosis now). This apparently helped him (he was diagnosed Aspie indeed).

ON the other hand, I reocnigze autism in my father, much younger than my husband's grandfather, but I don't see a reasonfor him to get evaluate dfor uaitm or even to self-diagnose. He functions fairly well, and and ca n't stan dpsychiatrization, so he did everything he could do show that he wasn't autistic and neithe rwas I when I was in my evaluation process.

Yes it would she complains about not having a social life for someone her own age.


_________________
Keniichi


onks
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 27 Jul 2012
Age: 47
Gender: Male
Posts: 490
Location: Finland

10 Sep 2012, 1:45 pm

Keniichi wrote:
This is about my grandmother, some of my family members are pondering about whether shes on the spectrum or not?
Heres the things she was friends with boys when she was younger, had no problems dating (marriage is a different matter), went to parties, had obsessions, and was odd by girls. She was often blunt and had some trouble with figures of speech when she was younger..
However now it seems that shes outgrown possible ASD?
Shes had some abusive marriages(which she got out of!), she doesnt party, she doesnt talk/really hang out with people, still uses figures of speech(ancient ones at that) with ease, she has obsessions with reading, sewing, and going to church, and anyone whose opinion is different then hers is stupid. (Shes really smart as well, even though she didnt go to College or have any higher education, and came from a poor family). The only groups she does attend are Bible Study, Church things, and Sewing Club.
She also doesnt like shopping cause of the noise of the crowd(she has other sensory issues), however she still goes shopping like everyone else. She also is good at reading peoples body language, and tone of voice...She wasnt so good apparently when she was younger. (As in teenager/young adult years). She also raised 5 kids(siblings) nearly by herself and her own kids(which she didnt do 100 percent well on but she did her best given her circumstances)
Now my question is is she possibly on the spectrum? Its hard to tell cause of her age, and I dont really know any other people who are her age..(shes 65 now)


It is very likely that she has. Try to make a connection to you through your mother/father. They might have weak symptoms, too. AS is mostly influenced by inheritance

For me,
My mother and her mother, my grandma, and even my grandmas mother were all described to be quite similar (by my mother).

Life was different back then and most probably easier, less stress.

I sometimes have the feeling that nowadays everything, that is somehow different, is per se bad because not ideal.
Society rules are much stronger even if they are less well defined and more difficult to acchieve.
Logic is missing.
The old society was still much more reasonable in many aspects, with a fair chance for aspies as well (Less stress in particular,
the feeling that doing something reasonable is enough to lead a successful life
with an appropriate relation of devotion to work compared to salary).

(well there were also quite many stupid things, as well)

Growth of the BNP and the shift towards a few richer people simply demands total devotion to that what the people with the money want,
be it stupid or not. And all of them play the game perfectly, except us.

I dont understand, that how the people, that have been themselves being in a much more comfortable working life,
now start to demand more from us younger ones

Well and if I would tell to my mum about my problems she simply wouldnt understand me because back then everything was different.



Keniichi
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Jul 2011
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 617
Location: Spokane, WA

18 Sep 2012, 11:56 pm

onks wrote:
Keniichi wrote:
This is about my grandmother, some of my family members are pondering about whether shes on the spectrum or not?
Heres the things she was friends with boys when she was younger, had no problems dating (marriage is a different matter), went to parties, had obsessions, and was odd by girls. She was often blunt and had some trouble with figures of speech when she was younger..
However now it seems that shes outgrown possible ASD?
Shes had some abusive marriages(which she got out of!), she doesnt party, she doesnt talk/really hang out with people, still uses figures of speech(ancient ones at that) with ease, she has obsessions with reading, sewing, and going to church, and anyone whose opinion is different then hers is stupid. (Shes really smart as well, even though she didnt go to College or have any higher education, and came from a poor family). The only groups she does attend are Bible Study, Church things, and Sewing Club.
She also doesnt like shopping cause of the noise of the crowd(she has other sensory issues), however she still goes shopping like everyone else. She also is good at reading peoples body language, and tone of voice...She wasnt so good apparently when she was younger. (As in teenager/young adult years). She also raised 5 kids(siblings) nearly by herself and her own kids(which she didnt do 100 percent well on but she did her best given her circumstances)
Now my question is is she possibly on the spectrum? Its hard to tell cause of her age, and I dont really know any other people who are her age..(shes 65 now)


It is very likely that she has. Try to make a connection to you through your mother/father. They might have weak symptoms, too. AS is mostly influenced by inheritance

For me,
My mother and her mother, my grandma, and even my grandmas mother were all described to be quite similar (by my mother).

Life was different back then and most probably easier, less stress.

I sometimes have the feeling that nowadays everything, that is somehow different, is per se bad because not ideal.
Society rules are much stronger even if they are less well defined and more difficult to acchieve.
Logic is missing.
The old society was still much more reasonable in many aspects, with a fair chance for aspies as well (Less stress in particular,
the feeling that doing something reasonable is enough to lead a successful life
with an appropriate relation of devotion to work compared to salary).

(well there were also quite many stupid things, as well)

Growth of the BNP and the shift towards a few richer people simply demands total devotion to that what the people with the money want,
be it stupid or not. And all of them play the game perfectly, except us.

I dont understand, that how the people, that have been themselves being in a much more comfortable working life,
now start to demand more from us younger ones

Well and if I would tell to my mum about my problems she simply wouldnt understand me because back then everything was different.

Um I dont know my real parents well. My mother(gma) moved alot so she didnt make many friends, but she was popular with the boys in school. She was fairly smart(and still is)!
Shes very blunt to the point of hurting other ppl. Shes somewhat of a control freak. She doesnt like change. But now that shes in a new church shes making friends more and more, and going places more and more like when she was younger. She just doesnt do the get together with this person and have a girls night out type.

Whats the BNP?


_________________
Keniichi


onks
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 27 Jul 2012
Age: 47
Gender: Male
Posts: 490
Location: Finland

19 Sep 2012, 12:01 am

Keniichi wrote:
onks wrote:
Keniichi wrote:
This is about my grandmother, some of my family members are pondering about whether shes on the spectrum or not?
Heres the things she was friends with boys when she was younger, had no problems dating (marriage is a different matter), went to parties, had obsessions, and was odd by girls. She was often blunt and had some trouble with figures of speech when she was younger..
However now it seems that shes outgrown possible ASD?
Shes had some abusive marriages(which she got out of!), she doesnt party, she doesnt talk/really hang out with people, still uses figures of speech(ancient ones at that) with ease, she has obsessions with reading, sewing, and going to church, and anyone whose opinion is different then hers is stupid. (Shes really smart as well, even though she didnt go to College or have any higher education, and came from a poor family). The only groups she does attend are Bible Study, Church things, and Sewing Club.
She also doesnt like shopping cause of the noise of the crowd(she has other sensory issues), however she still goes shopping like everyone else. She also is good at reading peoples body language, and tone of voice...She wasnt so good apparently when she was younger. (As in teenager/young adult years). She also raised 5 kids(siblings) nearly by herself and her own kids(which she didnt do 100 percent well on but she did her best given her circumstances)
Now my question is is she possibly on the spectrum? Its hard to tell cause of her age, and I dont really know any other people who are her age..(shes 65 now)


It is very likely that she has. Try to make a connection to you through your mother/father. They might have weak symptoms, too. AS is mostly influenced by inheritance

For me,
My mother and her mother, my grandma, and even my grandmas mother were all described to be quite similar (by my mother).

Life was different back then and most probably easier, less stress.

I sometimes have the feeling that nowadays everything, that is somehow different, is per se bad because not ideal.
Society rules are much stronger even if they are less well defined and more difficult to acchieve.
Logic is missing.
The old society was still much more reasonable in many aspects, with a fair chance for aspies as well (Less stress in particular,
the feeling that doing something reasonable is enough to lead a successful life
with an appropriate relation of devotion to work compared to salary).

(well there were also quite many stupid things, as well)

Growth of the BNP and the shift towards a few richer people simply demands total devotion to that what the people with the money want,
be it stupid or not. And all of them play the game perfectly, except us.

I dont understand, that how the people, that have been themselves being in a much more comfortable working life,
now start to demand more from us younger ones

Well and if I would tell to my mum about my problems she simply wouldnt understand me because back then everything was different.

Um I dont know my real parents well. My mother(gma) moved alot so she didnt make many friends, but she was popular with the boys in school. She was fairly smart(and still is)!
Shes very blunt to the point of hurting other ppl. Shes somewhat of a control freak. She doesnt like change. But now that shes in a new church shes making friends more and more, and going places more and more like when she was younger. She just doesnt do the get together with this person and have a girls night out type.

Whats the BNP?


Gross National Product (GNP) = BNP in other languages

That what you describe about your mother still sounds familiar to me(or how I feel), although being popular as an aspie is quite extraordinary.
For girls maybe easier to achieve
I am too strange for that