Anyone 50+?

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I'm struggling with a mid-life slump more than a mid-life crisis which kind of sounds exciting, exhilarating by comparison. I'm plagued by a sense of failure, mainly due to social/personal/business relationships which have come crashing down on me. I find it hard to anticipate consequences and am faced with a big pile of them landing on me from a great height at this moment in time.

I don't know if I have AS but suspect I have 'inherited' this from a parent and I just want to reach out to someone/anyone who might relate or understand what I'm going through.

Some of the reasons I've doubted AS is that I have emotions but stunted empathy. I can empathize with people facing tragedies (I am not devoid of empathy completely) but I can't seem to get everyday empathy stuff or understand why they people get so worked up over stupid things and bear grudges. My failing is that I have very little patience or tolerance in dealing with people like this - and there seems to be so many of them.

I don't know what age has brought to me other than this self-awareness of being different. I think I was happier when I thought it was everyone else who was weird.

I've never had much empathy, if any, for people. Over time, I learned to express empathy that I do not feel in certain situations in order to blend in.

Sometimes I think the lack of empathy gives me a very different view on situations.

Look at the case of the George Zimmerman killing of Trayvon Martin in Florida last winter. People who have empathy for Martin are convinced that Zimmerman should go to prison for killing Martin and people who have empathy for Zimmerman are convinced that he is some kind of hero for killing the thug who attacked him.

Not having any empathy for either one, I see it a bit differently. From my perspective, it was nothing more than a fairly simple fist fight and the one who was losing pulled out a firearm and killed the other. Ideally the police would have arrived in time to keep that from happening and would have thrown both of them in jail for fighting.

So I agree with those who want Zimmerman to go to prison but for entirely different reasons. To me, Martin's age or ethnicity doesn't matter at all. All that matters to me is that one of two people in a fist fight killed the other. And in that circumstance, I will always believe that the one who killed the other should go to prison for murder. If you get into a fist fight and are losing, suck it up and take the loss like a man.

yes, I am 50+. I find it hard to anticipate consequences too.
welcome to wp.

<-- 50+

I've come to the realization that the expectations I had as a young adult were gross exaggerations of what I've accomplished.

Well, I'm not quite fifty, but I tend to round up so as I approach 2.5 years shy of fifty, I have started to think of myself as "roughly fifty". Does that count?

Anyway, I'm going through a few things that sound similar to your experiences. My job seems to be withering and dying so now I'm faced with having to go job hunting in an industry that tends to prefer younger people who are willing to work cheap. I recognize that 50 isn't really that old and yet it's not that young either. It's as if I should have a good, stable foothold on life and yet I'm not sure I feel any more secure than I did at 20. I just have bigger bills and responsibilities.

On the issue of empathy, I don't know how useful defining it is when it comes to autism. Obviously some people with ASD can have strong empathy (I feel as if I do) and others do not. There are a wide range of features to ASD so it's hard to pin down.

What are the things that you are facing? Are you working out any solutions yet? I really understand how scary and demoralizing it can be to deal with life altering changes of career at this time. It's also a time when parents start dying and older friends develop health problems. On the whole, there is a lot of reminders of how things can go badly around this age. But at fifty, we tend to have more experience and are better able to weather the difficulties.

I hope you can find some good coping strategies.

Just answering the topic question.

... now that it has been determined there are people 50+ here, what should (if anything) we do about it ....

I am 63 but definitely do not feel old. Went to the gym today and worked out.; bought some new clothes; and eat only good quality food- no sugar (except one chocolate bar per month) no processed food, grains, dairy or junk; make sure I get out of the house even if I do not want to. When I look in the mirror I do not see a 63 year old man. My brain is still 30.

Oh and I love Moondust's avatar.

i've been "39" since i was...

ahem- anyways, aches and pains, dust and disorder are my ever-present companions in life now, i can't seem to give them the shove, so i've had to do my best to accomodate their presence in my life. pain killers, both pharmocological as well as a dandy new TENS [Transcutaneous Electronic Nerve Stimulator] unit are my best friends and defenders against them. the little blue pill is god's gift to oldsters like me, but thankfully diet and exercise [pre-accident] seems to have rejuvenated at least that part of me for my own purposes at my own devices.

Hi,
yep, the ol' mid-life crisis is h-e-ll (typed that way 'cos I don't know if this forum has any auto-censor that deletes words etc).
The worst part for me is realising that it's just too darn hard to pretend I am 'normal' any more! Still, now that I am unemployed, I am seriously considering being a permanent student and indulging my passion for information (what did we do before the internet?)
I would love to chat to other over 50's, as long as you know that the instant anyone starts a (yawn) conversation about their bowels, I am SO outta here!

Hi Eric,
being a student beats doing the housework any day!
18 years of college must be an all-time record (please tell me you weren't repeating a class?!)

I'm only 43 but am happy to say that I've worked through my mid-life crisis and have emerged on the other side of it unscathed. My two big issues that kind of came to a head at the same time were a major career slump and longtime feelings of bisexuality. The result was that I threw the career in the garbage and worked through my gay feelings with a friend without having sex with him. I'm in a much better job situation now and am at peace with my sexuality. There were some really low moments over a two-year period though and I even contemplated suicide on a couple of occasions.