...sleep issues

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AS/AS couple...

Does anyone have experience with sleep issues?

There are kind of 2 sets currently.

(1) My wife has developed a habit of going to sleep at about 4 AM and waking up sometime past noon. She sleeps a bit more than I do, but not appreciably. Ambien helps her sleep, but does not change the schedule. Clonazapam helps, but results in fairly severe dysphoria mixed with extreme irritability and is basically impossible to live with.

We've talked - and the issue seems to be that, as she's out of work, she simply can't bear the thought of being alone all day while I'm at work. This is modestly problematic, as we have a small child - and leaving the child unattended for 5 hours while she sleeps isn't a good idea. (Currently in preschool, but only part-time...long story...she's picky about preschools.)

She does tend towards a regular sleep schedule when she's employed. That's my current plan. She seems to have a lot of difficulty disciplining herself unless there's some sort of taskmaster forcing her to get up in the morning. Taking a while though.

(2) My wife also seems to have a lot of trouble grasping the fact that I'd like to sleep at 2 AM instead of being woken by a friendly wife pouncing on my back and asking if I'm awake. I'd probably feel less annoyed if she didn't tend to repeat the wakey wakey at 4 AM. Seriously, our child never interrupted my sleep this much. We've talked - and her behavior maybe changes for one day.

W: 'Hey (hugs me). Sleeping well?'
H: 'I...was.'
W: 'Oh good - bounces on bed...wakes up small child.'
H: '...please let me sleep.'
W: 'Oh sorry. I forgot - just wanted to hug you.'
Affection is good. But, she seems to have a lot of trouble remembering the bedtime is for sleeping.

Plan A: I get a new bedtime ritual - which involves moving her pill bottles back into the bathroom, so at least she doesn't wake me at 2 AM searching for sleeping pills. Oh, and wear an eyepatch - so the tablet won't keep me awake. Unfortunately, she'll still poke me and try to show me movies at 4 AM.
Plan B: I start sleeping on the floor of our child's bedroom. And lock the door - but she'll be pretty lonely.

I'd welcome any other suggestions. I really miss going to sleep with her.

--Argyle

print out your post and tape it on the bathroom mirror.

Maybe, if it feels right and the spirit moves you, asking your wife if she'd like to cuddle around 1am ? ? ?

A girlfriend with who I had some major things in common with way in 1998, the thought occurred to me that I don't like physically sleeping in bed next to another person. And that shocked me. For I love cuddling and I love the idea of sleeping with someone all night long. It got me thinking, maybe cuddling during daytime drowsy times and during naps.

...thing is...6 AM is worky worky time for me...and I don't do well without my 8 hours - so 1 AM cuddles don't work well.

Thanks...I might try printing something out and taping it to every available surface in our house.

--Argyle

Let her stay with me a week two hours a nights of sleep and she'll be the one complaining about being woke up.