Over 40, unemployed again, and ready to give up.

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I don't know where to start, and I'm probably not going to be very eloquent with this. But I'm at a loss. I lost another job today. I have had more jobs than years I have been alive, most of them ending due to my "weirdness" or because of being bullied into quitting. I definitely have autism. My entire life story points to this. Things are getting bleaker, I have been diagnosed with tumors in my head and am currently taking medication to try and shrink them. I don't have insurance, so surgery is not an option at this time. I live by myself, have done so for 20 years. No idea how I'm going to support myself if I can't find a job, but I have no motivation to look for yet another job that will be fine for maybe 3 months and then everything will go to s**t because of my shortcomings. I'd like to go back to school and learn something that will pay me a decent wage so that I am not constantly in fight-or-flight mode, but I don't know what that would even be with my issues. The depression is overwhelming. I do not have family to help me. I live in a red state that would just as soon push you in the dirt as help you with anything. I have been through the Voc Rehab maze of paperwork and no real help 3 times. They are a joke, constantly changing case workers, and so overworked themselves that they don't know what they are doing most of the time. I've tried to bootstrap myself by getting several jobs, to save money, but I got burned out so quickly that didn't last very long. I even moved across the country to live in a more liberal state, but the cost of living was so high that I couldn't make it. So here I am again, in the same old situation. And I'm so tired of it. Sorry for the rambling and most likely grammar-poor post. Anyone with a similar experience who has climbed out of it? It would be so amazing to hear that someone had. Thank you so much for reading this.

Your story describes my own life perfectly. But, the good news is you have learned how to rebound. I won't insult you with advice about how to cut financial corners and reshape your resume into yet another job or career. You are a survivor. You know the ropes. Give yourself a few days of intensive R&R, and then get back at it. Realize that you have an easier time doing what so many others have failed at. You are the proverbial "renaissance" person. When you are older, you will appreciate knowing a lot about many different things, jobs and people. You can get things done because you know how everything works.

Good luck!

Yeah just get back on the horse. I'm 38 and I have a serious neurological disease. I'm a sociology grad student and an autism researcher, which is my fourth career. I have a young son. I wasn't supposed to have children and I was advised to be satisfied with the middle management job that I hated and made my symptoms worse. I'm glad I didn't listen.

I suggest doing general education at a community college while you figure out what you're good at and what you want to do. Forget about the tumors and your age. If you didn't know how old you were or that you had tumors, would those things matter? Just be healthy and pursue your interests. When you find what you're really good at, no one will care if you're a little weird.

My situation is very similar to yours, UFD. Longest I've been tolerated on a job has been my present one, 5.5 years (probably being fired soon, again for being "odd").

What helped me the most in life was the amazingly painstaking work I did for decades of observation of people and gaining insight. I'm still severely impaired in the social interaction area, but in some jobs, in companies where the employees are unusually nice, I'm able to last longer than I would've in the past.

Thank you all. Your empathy is humbling, and I was in desperate need of kind words. Been wallowing in depression the last few days, but I think I might be ready to get back out there and find my next cruddy job where everyone thinks I'm weird. Trying to keep it positive, failing a lot. But, as you say, I am a survivor and keep going. No matter what. I hope someone else who is struggling sees this and knows that they are not alone. It is a huge help, just knowing that others are going through similar difficulties. And that it really sucks sometimes.

Again, thank you so much.

With your knowledge of hobbies and special interests in mind, have you thought of selling stuff on Amazon? Ebay etc ? Google retail arbitrage and also online arbitrage and start selling stuff you've got lying around the house initially, such as books so that you get used to it. The amazon website has 'how to sell stuff on amazon' tutorials.
Don't try and fit into the NT world if you're not suited to it, instead see what your special interests are and use those as that is what you are naturally good at plus you don't have to deal with annoying peeps!

If you're good with typing and remembering figures, I would go for Medical Coding or Medical Billing.

There will be a greater need for both over the coming years because of the aging of the Baby Boomers.

I would hire a delicate flower in an instant!

Fleur, you very well may be eligible for SSDI or SSI. Your combination of impairments may reach a level that qualifies you. If you want more advice on this, let me know. I got my adult daughter on SSI on the first try with autism, concussion history, anxiety and depression as the main conditions. As support for her unemployability were her two trips through DVR with no success and her six years of university with no degree.

In America we often try to shame anyone who needs the "social safety net," but I am telling you that she is much better off just having to manage her day-to-day struggles without a corporate job to drive her into melt-down. She recently got a subsidized apartment, she has an active and happy social life, and she is slowly learning skills of independent living. Yay!

so..... don't give up!

Job trouble can dog AS people. I think the last ten years has been harder than periods before that. It seems jobs crap out a lot easier nowadays. Even if your selected in a layoff you don't really know the real reason. Try to do research and emulate NT's when needed. Keep your AS secret from co-workers even if you have make up stories. I really believe AS are a different kind of human possibly an evolutionary advance. NT's can be instinctively afraid of us others may just think we are a little reserved.

Jobs in accounting can be good for AS people. If your office is somewhat private that is better than working in a cube with little privacy / bullpen area. I really liked Project accounting bc most of time boss out on project or out in another city. I had one project that went 4.5 years and it was a nice run. You can have a job going good then some unfavorable non controllable event will screw it up - management change, company culture change, downsizing, etc. Best thing is your own business in field your passinate about where your self employed. Age bias becomes a problem after 50 sometimes even before that. Save money as you never know when your career will crap out for good. I have run into some really vicious evil people in corporations especially ones near or at the top. Don't trust them for anything. Don't let their self serving propoganda bother or manipulate you .

Lately at stores I have been hearing the song "I left my heart in San Francisco." I want to be 20 again in 1969 San Francisco with money and do lots of girls (no Aids then so no worrying your gonna die for doing a girl without one), knowing what I know today - just relax n stuff. At that time I could not travel somewhere like that as I was busy with college staying ahead of the draft. Hearing that song in stores often makes me feel like perhaps my life may be near over, like spirit guides trying tell me something - next stop some place that is a carbon copy of 1969 SF.

Someone said the only deadly sin is giving up.

if you ever think of moving again, a liberal city with a low cost of living is pittsburgh. if i were you, i'd get the operation or whatever treatment is needed on my brain tumors, then declare bankruptcy. your health has to come first.