ending relationships

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I just ended a relationship with someone. I have always done it the same way. I ask the person not to contact me anymore. I usually feel compelled to give a detailed explanation as well. I have come to realize that this is an extremely emotionally violent way to end relationships. However, I know no other way to go about it. Has anyone had success in ending relationships in a less hurtful way?

I have little experience, but I think it's better to say less.

Why a detailed explanation? If you want a relationship to continue then you could explain what makes you unhappy in the hope that your partner would understand and be open to change. But if the relationship is over then what's the point? You have nothing to gain from this explanation. And your partner is left with a humiliating experience that crushes any memory of any happy moment that you may have shared.

It's a cliche, but there's wisdom in the line "it's not you, it's me".

It's just in my nature to be brutally honest and over-explain things.

Also, I hate it when people ghost me, just stop contacting me and hope I get the hint. That is an okay way to end casual relationships, but not close relationships. I want an explanation, so it makes me feel better to provide one. I feel like I am doing the person a disservice by not providing one. Perhaps this is an example of the Aspie lack of empathy.

If you would like to try something new (to you) that might be less "violent" to the people you are dispensing with ...

"This is not working for me, so I would like to go our separate ways." Then (and this is the new part) allow them to respond, and listen to what they are saying. You can respond to their remarks without compromising yourself. For instance, "I didn't know you felt that way," or "I'm glad we had this chat," or "Yes, we can still be friends, but I don't want you to expect much of me. I don't do friendships well."

I hope this gives you some ideas. None of the above statements is untruthful, but it's more graceful, and acknowledges that the other person has feelings and they are valid.

Thanks for the advice.