Reflections on growing up.

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It's been five years since I was last on wrongplanet and a lot has changed for me in that time. I had come around to the idea that a very wide range of behaviors and deficiencies in social understanding can be considered NT and that my own problems in this area are probably pretty typical. I thought that I had learned to understand and respond to a lot of social ques ergo making the label of aspie no longer applicable. Recently though I've had to reevaluate this because I've had conversations and been in situations where I realized that I have almost nothing in common with people that I probably should relate to. I've been working with other engineers and they are intelligent, rational, talented people but they've all managed to have social lives that to me seem extraordinary, even though they probably aren't really that unusual.

I've gotten over most of the anxiety of talking to people but it still seems like there is a chasm between me and almost everyone else. I've gone back and read some of the things I wrote here years ago and I would still write those things today.

Self acceptance is the key.
I've found it comes in waves.
So long as you can accept that your normal is okay, even if it doesn't match someone else's normal things will fall into perspective.
Remember, there will always be someone doing it worse than you, and that your eccentricities may pale in comparison to that of some others.
Obviously you will need to fit in to some extent in life and in work, but that doesn't mean you have to be anyone different than yourself.
Just make sure you keep some time for yourself, and if you have to be around people a lot, try to balance it by having some time alone.
There is no such thing as the normal so many people strive for or expect from themselves or others.
Be yourself, and don't worry too much if others don't accept you as you are, because they're probably not worth the effort anyway.

"Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect."
Mark Twain

It definitely comes in waves and phases. Sometimes I'm glad that I can enjoy the richness and complexity of a good sci-fi novel instead of being satisfied by a football game. On the other hand the richness and complexity of a relationship with a real person was always worthwhile the few times I've managed it.