Hey need fairly urgent help with a really tough call

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binaryodes
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21 Dec 2013, 10:17 pm

Im sorry to attribute such urgency to this post out of all the others but im urged on by a rapidly approaching time (14:00 GMT) imposed by the acquaintance to whom you are about to be introduced. (Pardon me if you will for the lack of formality)

My acquaintance is asking me for favours yet again. He doesnt really give all that much (he did invite me to his house a few times and gave me tea and food however. He often expects me to bail him out of difficult situations. The last time he borrowed my guitar he said he'd bring it back at 3 and he ended up bringing it at some point late in the evening.
I also loaned him £5 because he forgot his train fare. He made me wait half an hour for him so that I could take him to the cash machine to access my bank account and withdraw the cash.
Now he wants 14.00 in order to travel to London. Apparently his card has been blocked. Should I relent andgive him the money? He's well liked so its more than likely that he's come to me first bypassing his close circle of friends.

I suspect that im simply there to extricate him from any tight spots he encounters. Im extremely unpopular at uni - im seen as a total and utter freak XD so its unlikely that he befriends me out of genuine fraternal affections.


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jugbandblues
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21 Dec 2013, 10:39 pm

well, did he pay you back these 5 bucks he borrowed?


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binaryodes
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21 Dec 2013, 10:41 pm

Yep he did eventually - took him a while though


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binaryodes
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22 Dec 2013, 9:40 am

oh well decided to give him the money - while the situation is done and dusted so to speak I still would like advice on howto proceed in future. This isgoing to happen again. I couldnt say no as this band practise was apparently critical for the future progression of his career (he has been discussing it with me for some time). I would have felt very guilty.

This is important to me as 99% of my "friendships" are like this with me basically just being used. Am I being used or am I being hypersensitive.


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czarsmom
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22 Dec 2013, 9:12 pm

Personally, I think you should say no to him. It sounds like he is taking advantage of your giving and generous nature. People like this will only suck you dry if you keep on giving and giving. That has been my own personal experience. Many people will act like they are our friend just to get things from us. I'm not saying your friend is like this and doesn't care for you, I can't make that judgement. But, it sounds like that is a possibility.


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bryanmaloney
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26 Dec 2013, 12:38 pm

Kick him to the curb.



donkey
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29 Dec 2013, 8:45 pm

its probably a better long term strategy to learn some assertiveness and say no.


just politely say no, i can't i don't have the money, I'm sorry.


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