what causes me to be 'jangled' when interacting in a group

Page 1 of 1 [ 5 posts ] 

Hathi
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jan 2014
Age: 56
Gender: Female
Posts: 2

18 Jan 2014, 6:42 am

Here is an idea that I have come up with that I want to run it by you. I understand social cues very well I have been studying them all my life. What actually causes me the most stress being in social situations is the fact that neurotypical people lie to each other constantly. Their mouths say one thing and their body language another. (Generally the body gives the truer version). What I feel oppressed by is the sheer weight of lies that can fill a room. Does anyone else feel like this?



babybird
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Nov 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 74,478
Location: UK

18 Jan 2014, 1:03 pm

I think you must pay more attention than I do. I do notice when people are being two faced though.

Is that the same sort of thing?


_________________
We have existence


AardvarkGoodSwimmer
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Apr 2009
Age: 61
Gender: Male
Posts: 7,665
Location: Houston, Texas

18 Jan 2014, 1:05 pm

I have a heck of a hard time telling 'normal' social hypocrisy, the polite lies, from the mean-spirited kind.

And I want to give people the benefit of the doubt unless I'm like 95% sure, or let's say 80%. And I still want to be decent and matter-of-fact in how I distance myself.

=======

By the way, Welcome to WrongPlanet! :jester:



ASPartOfMe
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Aug 2013
Age: 67
Gender: Male
Posts: 35,933
Location: Long Island, New York

18 Jan 2014, 1:06 pm

I over compensate and get too cynical. NT's tell me I am too negative. While sometimes they may also say my observation or opinion is wrong more often then not I am just too negative.


_________________
Professionally Identified and joined WP August 26, 2013
DSM 5: Autism Spectrum Disorder, DSM IV: Aspergers Moderate Severity

“My autism is not a superpower. It also isn’t some kind of god-forsaken, endless fountain of suffering inflicted on my family. It’s just part of who I am as a person”. - Sara Luterman


RVACF
Butterfly
Butterfly

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jan 2014
Age: 63
Gender: Female
Posts: 13

29 Jan 2014, 7:15 am

Hathi wrote:
Here is an idea that I have come up with that I want to run it by you. I understand social cues very well I have been studying them all my life. What actually causes me the most stress being in social situations is the fact that neurotypical people lie to each other constantly. Their mouths say one thing and their body language another. (Generally the body gives the truer version). What I feel oppressed by is the sheer weight of lies that can fill a room. Does anyone else feel like this?


I'm still not good at the body language / facial cues thing. So I get shocked that someone lied to me or they had an underlying meaning. The bad part about this is my job is auto accident claims...we have a saying that 50% of each claim is lying.
*facepalm*