Do you Exhaust your spouse

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So, I tend to analyze everything. And, then, once analyzed, I over-analyze it. So, then, when talking to my wife, I share all the details of this analysis. And this is true for just about everything. I could be discussing my thoughts about shopping for a new pair of jeans (yeah – I sweat the details on that) to preparing for taxes. Anything.

My wife, bless her heart, simply says, “You exhaust me”.

I am just curious – Any others out there who exhaust your spouse.

I don't have a spouse but my parents tell me everyday that I exhaust them due to my over-analyzing.

No, unfortunately at the moment it is very much the other way around...

Seriously however, do you really feel compelled to analyse and tell everything, in the sense that you fear that something bad may happen or something would just not be "right" if you would resist that compulsion? Your post reminded me of my own problems with OCD.

I do not have a spouse, but this Aspie trait seems to be global. By nature, I am analytically minded and I sometimes need to remind myself that certain audiences do not appreciate this. Strikingly, I just now returned from the Laundromat (folding laundry right now). The Laundromat attendant, whom I kind-of know, asked what I do........well, that's an in-depth topic and I'm never quite sure how to broach that. There is no light 'n breezy answer.

All I can offer is that you are lucky that your wife understands. Neurotypicals often prefer light conversations, even for heavy topics.

Yes I exhaust mine but for other reasons.

Interesting question. I never thought about it. My mind is always analyzing one thing (or another). It's just something I do. I do tend to worry a lot. Not certain if it is related.

Regarding "fear that something bad may happen"... Generally, I do understand (in most cases), what the worst case scenario could be. And, typically, it is not something that is "that bad". And, I don't think, "If I don't over analyze this situation, a loved one may get hurt" or something like that.

As a note, during my diagnosis, I discussed some of my obsessive/compulsive tendencies with the Psychologist. I was not diagnosed with either OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) or OCPD (Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder).

I analyze and over-analyze things. Luckily, I have no one around me to annoy. If I did I'd probably drive them crazy (unless, of course, I kept my analysis to myself which is more common with me).

what others might see as "overanalyzing" in me is simply me having a reluctant brain that I have to pound information into repeatedly over a long time, before the novel information is retained inside.

No I don't exhaust my husband with my constant analysing (as I keep the majority of analytical thoughts to myself) but I exhaust myself!! I believe my brain is wired to analyse, so when my husband tells me to "stop being so over-analytical" I get highly annoyed. Analysing for me is as automatic and natural as breathing, so to tell me to stop is infuriating. I can't just turn the analytical part of my brain on or off, it is an automatic and spontaneous process.

My mind loves analysing (hugely satisfying), I can spend hours, days analysing specific topics. When in therapy I write down my analytical thinking (I have box loads of written notes). However, continual analysing can be time and energy consuming. Thus, sometimes I get exhausted by my constant analysing (of specific topics). Yet I can't stop, but, I know once I've had a sleep I'll pick myself up and continue to go - analysing. Without analysing, I would live in mental chaos/turmoil and I would be without self-knowledge - as I have learnt about myself and the social world through much observation and analysis.

I think I exhaust everybody who is close to me with my thinking out loud--analyzing and explaining my thought processes. I can't think about what the other person would be interested in hearing so I just go with what I find interesting.

Vice versa mostly, but my husband is actually more analytical than I am.

I do this a lot too.

However there are also times where I feel I'm just pointing out something I find interesting and sharing it -- but other people just think I'm either worrying or that I'm over-analyzing because I think something is a problem. It can be my wife or it can be someone else.

I also analyze everything, or at least I do not adhere to the analysis of others easily, so I make mine in depth about everything that interest me. However, since I have a hard time to make others understand me during conversations, it is so frustrating that I tend to keep everything to myself. I suppose that you do not have this problem and you should be very proud of that.
My visions are also so out of the norm in general that my NT spouse hardly agrees with me on much, but after 15 years together, we are still fine.
It takes a lot of efforts from both sides to make it work.

I do exhaust my wife and my parents with my over-analysis of things. It paralyzes me as well.

This sounds more like me. I keep most of my analyzing to myself, and only share the tentative conclusions I reach with my partner. I did learn pretty early in life to not just announce that "this is how it's going to be" as a result of all my analysis which my partner knew nothing about! I found out it was better to approach it as "here's what I think should happen, what do you think?" and then it was up to them to convince me their way made more sense. And then it was up to me to be reasonably open to their ideas.

However, with the exception of my late fiance, I've never been in a relationship that didn't exhaust ME, trying to deal with my partner's (what I considered to be) excess socialization, lack of organization, randomness, etc. Also, the inevitable conflicts that would arise when they wanted to make a snap decision based solely on whim or emotion, and I had already done reams and reams of analysis.

I have concluded that this didn't happen with my late fiance because he was also an Aspie and we were so much alike, whereas my other partners were NTs. I could be wrong, but it sure was nice to be with someone who, for the first time in my life, DIDN'T exhaust me all the time. In fact, we frequently conducted our analyses together - we could talk for hours "figuring out" things - from minor things like what to have for dinner to major things like how we felt about various issues.

My NT spouse is often exhausted, but not usually from me. I also keep my analyses to myself, something I learned while growing up. Plus, her native language isn't English, so I've given up on having a conversation about any of my interests with her. She wouldn't have any idea what I was talking about.

My wife tends to work herself too hard and doesn't often realize she's doing so until it's too late. Plus, she does tutoring in our apartment, which is exhausting in itself (not the apartment, the tutoring). However, it's possible that I may contribute to her exhaustion in that I'm not as observant as I should be to how she's feeling and what I should be doing to help her. By the time I'm aware of this, it's usually too late. As we've been married for over a decade I'm getting better at this, but there's still a long way to go.