Anyone trapped in a highly social profession?

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I work as an international sales admin, it's highly politically and socially complex. I of course keep getting fired. For the life of me, I haven't been able to earn a living in any other area (I'm even worse at other things and also I won't be given any job I don't have experience in) and I'm totally alone in the world without any assets or meaningful savings. I'm 53. Right now, I think I'm getting fired once again. It's a horrible feeling, when I give my life to the job and do all I can to pass for normal. I feel totally alone with this plight...

I have no one to even say one word to about what's going on at work now. I can't even hire a counsellor, as their advice is useless because they've never even heard the word Asperger's - let alone NLD, which is what I truly have.

I'm not in a "social profession", but I can understand the situation that you are in. So many people think that if you are bullied by many people, you must be the problem because you make them bully you. Just being "weird" makes you a "bad person" even if you actually don't do anything wrong. Someone with a "weakness" is a "bad person". Well, that's how I get treated. Those that can bully the weak ones skillfully are the winners in most workplaces.

I used to feel utterly alone most of the time but I got so used to it that now I have become almost immune to that feeling. Being on WP helps. You realize that there are other people like you. If you'd like, you can share more of your story here on WP. WP is there for people like you (and me). We may not be able to give you practical help, but at least some of us can listen to you and relate to your story.

Yes I can relate. I deal with people all day long and my job depends on it. I have the problem of being unintentionally inappropriate from time to time. But I get by because I turned that into comedy and can easily pass these faux pas off as a joke or just oddball humour. If all else fails I act really dumb. It gets the sympathy vote. Being a guy these options probably aren't going to work for you as well. Although the comedic aspect might.

Do you want to chat about it?

I've refined my comedy to the point where I am seriously thinking about it as a career option. The NTs find it kind of hilarious. I've not got a problem with stage fright or anything like that. I quite like performing, just not for 10hrs a day like I currrently do.

I work as a receptionist for a community organisation and I have to answer the phone, take messages and greet people who come in. The office isn't very busy and I don't really mind the face to face interactions much but I find the phone calls very difficult. I have a really hard time taking down names, numbers and messages. I frequently have a great deal of trouble understanding people with foreign or strong accents. I'm not trapped in the work in any way because I'm a volunteer in a sense but I feel a very strong sense of obligation and I feel like I should be better at the job but it really isn't a great job for an aspie. The one positive is that most of the people I come into contact with and all of my coworkers are really nice and accepting of my oddities. If it was a for-profit business, I imagine would have been fired already.

corroonb, that has made me think...maybe my problem is I seem too "normal" to be seen as "odd", and too odd to pass for "normal".

i have a job that I am good at and that I enjoy. However, it relies on social skills. I have developed my social skills a lot over time by being in this profession. However, I feel like a phony because I don't really like people and would rather be left alone. I worked with Vocational Rehabilitation for a while, because AS is a condition that is recognized and my AS causes me problems in the workplace. However, I think I will go back to school when I get a chance so that I can figure out a profession where I don't have to rely so much on social skills. It is exhausting for me. Do you live in the U.S.? If so, have you ever heard of Voc. Rehab.? Each state has it. It is for people who are not completely disabled but do have disabilities that negatively impact their work life. You can get help finding a job, money to go back to school, or help getting accommodations.

All of my jobs have been in retail/customer service. For my first customer service job when I was about 19-20 (working as a cashier at Target), my social anxiety definitely impacted my performance. I had a couple of customers think that I was deaf because of how I couldn't talk. It got to me enough that I eventually quit because I was making plans to kill myself.

However, at that time I had no social circle and no form of medication or therapy. As I began to have a social life and began to become more comfortable with people, I started warming up to customer service a bit more. I currently work in retail and - when I'm in an up mood - I interact with people just fine. Every now and then my mood shifts and I feel uncomfortable being around people, but I'm learning to manage it better and better.

Nope. I learned my lesson in my first job, social anxiety proved to be far too much of a burden. Really, even just interacting with co-workers is a huge burden. So, naturally, I chose the profession of truck driver. I interact with very few people, and it works out perfectly for me. It's also incredibly lucrative.. at least, by my standards.

Interesting -- my mood shifts a lot, too. There seems be a lot going on under the hood -- sometimes I can't seem to speak for no reason, sometimes I run away from innocuous conversations, and sometimes I walk out of meeting literally struggling not to kill myself, but everyone else is smiling and chuckling as they walk out the door.

But usually it's OK.

The odd thing is that sometimes the same innocuous meeting or conversation makes me smile, too, and feel closer to the person. There seems to be no logic to it on the face of it all. So I think it's more complex than I can suss out.

Truck driver sounds appealing.

I've reached a senior level in my software industry career where it's expected that I'll have additional social responsibilities, like public speaking engagements and coaching others. I seem to be able to get away with it but it does come with a cost for me soon after.

^ I hope I'm just retired in a ski bum van and/or investing by then.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
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"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

Yeah, I'm 58 and your post makes me feel anxious just reading it. I don't usually get fired, but make enough mistakes to not get kept on. I have problems in both work and personal spheres, so I'm pretty much a hermit aside from family. I gave up a few years ago and went on disability with other qualifying conditions.

Can you head off the firing by confiding in your supervisor and asking for support or advice?

Are you taking medication? I am in a similar situation but somehow have kept a job for a long time.
It got a lot better when I started taking SSRIs and beta blockers. I'll never stop taking them.

Just posted about my experiences in a similar thread. Writing :

I have no clue if this would work, but maybe tell everyone you have Aspergers (what are they going to do?) and just have a relaxed sense of humor at everything, be able to laugh at yourself, be sweet to people, and mind your p's and q's and pray? People can still suck, though. It's ok I think? to see that actually others are not perfect either, and be ok? with leaving a place vs. getting axed.... dunno...