Am I a Simpering Weakling?

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My boss has not sent me a paycheque for my last week of work, which I suspected she wouldn't. So she owes me about $300. I know I should contact her and demand payment, but frankly she scares the bejezus out of me. I would rather lose the money than deal with her ever again.

I hope you don't work for her anymore?

No, thank God. I'm pretty sure she's got traces of narcissistic and sociopath in her. At the end I couldn't talk to her anymore at all. She's a bit of a con artist.

Has she got a secretary?

Also, if you're in the US, you probably don't have to deal with her directly. Just send her a bill with your terms (due on receipt), and one more if she doesn't pay, and then file a suit in small claims and let the magistrate handle it. You'll probably get paid long before your court date came up.

Worth a try, but I don't think I'll see any results. I'm going to write it off as an experience. I knew when I first met her that she was trouble and the five months I spent working for her were like a boot camp.

There should be a government wage and labor department that you can contact about this. For you it would probably be the Ministry of Labour. You can file a claim online. As soon as you do that, she will probably send you a check pretty quick.

Filing an Employment Standards Claim

The stickler is though that my hours were logged into an app but when I went to submit my hours on the correct day, I had been locked out of the app and couldn't do so. So before I take any outside action, I would at least have to contact her and ask her to get my hours herself. (Which she should be able to figure out how to do herself.)
But I just can't bring myself to do it. Talking to her is just not worth what she owes me. I know my fwb would totally ream me out if I shared this with him. He would choose the first option. As does my mother. But I have to go with my gut and sometimes money is not worth the trouble.

Only you know how much of a toll this will have on you vs. how badly you need the money. If this woman is making it so you can't pay the rent or buy food you need to stand up to her or get someone to help you do so. If the money isn't that big of a deal right now you are not weak! You are strong to recognize what you need to do to take care of yourself.

Thanks

Get somebody to call and pretend to be your lawyer. Either that or just show up there and refuse to leave without your paycheck. Threaten to call the TV news.

That wouldn't work for me; I cry when people yell. I think in some ways I am a weakling, but in other ways I'm strong. Direct confrontation is almost impossible for me; I'm far too easily persuadable and intimidated. I don't really like this about myself, but it's my nature. And also, I can react too quickly sometimes because I am intimidated. For example, I can physically react quite quickly if needed . . . but verbal confrontations confuse me.
I'm going to leave this one for karma to sort out.

Thanks for the responses and to the people who took the poll . . . cool!

Have you thought about assertiveness training classes? From what I hear, they do work and you do practice situations there for real life. Look around in your area, or even call the United Way Information and Referral hotline to see if they have a number for some. Also, women's shelters and rape crises centers sometimes have access to information about those.

I'd seriously give that some thought and try one or two out. What do you have to lose, really?

I'm too scared to go to assertiveness training.

It might not be a bad idea. I'm a very passive person and highly suggestible.

What bad thing could possibly happen at an assertiveness training class? It's full of people who are shy and afraid to speak up and the instructors are trained in how to teach them without scaring them.

I used to be like you are, when I was about 12 or so. Up until then I wouldn't say s**t if I had a mouthful. My friends tried and tried to get me to speak up, etc but it didn't work. What finally happened was that my best friend bullied me into standing up to this girl who had hit me, rather than hitting her back like she usually did she told me that if I didn't hit her back, she was going to kick my butt herself. So I hit her back. And I started learning how to stand up for myself. I'm certainly not suggesting that for you, I'm just letting you know that there are ways to learn to stand up for yourself and that I went from somebody that was everybodys doormat to somebody that people do NOT want to f**k with now.

If I can do it, you can do it. Take a friend with you to the class. Tell the teacher how afraid you are. They will work with you. They are trained for it, it's their job.