Does this describe your Impairments?

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I am in the process of re-reading “Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy for Adult Asperger Syndrome”, by Valerie Gaus,

In Chapter 1, she describes 7 patients she has seen (during the intake process) to demonstrate how the disorder impacts people differently in terms of: “age, gender, level of intellectual functioning, level of independence, academic achievement and severity of symptoms”.

She describes the consequences of these symptoms as:
- isolation and poor social support systems
- a sense of failure in attaining interpersonal or occupational goals
- chronic stress in daily living
- a lack of coping abilities resulting in maladaptive responses to stress

That pretty much nails it for me. Thoughts?

To some extent, but the levels of each have varied dramatically throughout my life. I can't say that I've ever experienced a month free from all those issues at the same time.

I find that book very helpful. Even though it's aimed at therapists, the conceptual frameworks were useful.

The breakdown:
isolation and poor social support systems
Yes. I don't communicate with people and lose friends. My only steady contact and support is my wife. As my children grow, we are very close. I don't have a lot of energy left for anything else.

a sense of failure in attaining interpersonal or occupational goals
Never graduated from college despite high test scores and admission to (and decent grades) at top universities. Was lined up for promotion at work a number of times, but then things fell apart for reasons I did not understand... Yes, this fits.

chronic stress in daily living
Yes, I am stressed by simple things like commuting in to work, going to buy groceries at the store or most situations when I have to interact with people.

a lack of coping abilities resulting in maladaptive responses to stress
I catastrophize. I have been diagnosed with panic disorder. Sometimes in avoiding the stress, I don't do things that would be in my best interest to do.

While all of the categories fit to some degree at some times, The above is very strong. Even if I end up doing things in my best interest it takes forever to 1. Decide 2. Then actually do them.

Interesting. What does the author say to do to fix it?




These things somewhat apply to me.

I'm quite awful at reaching out and maintaining relationships. However, I have a decent sized extended family that lives locally. I find that ai pretty much never socialize outside of family events. But, it's unfair to say I have a poor social support system (despite my lack of maintenance behaviors). Recently, and for the first time reaching out, I texted one family member that I was overwhelmed and might need some help that week. Within 60 seconds, I had six texts and a phone call...and offers to take my kids to special events or sleep over all week.

Some of your support network depends on the other people too!



Formal educational goals - yes, absolutely



Yep!



Depends on the day... This one certainly seems like the one that is most alter able by learning new tools.

Very much so. I have no family. I had the rabbi send out a mass email over a week ago asking if someone would please step up and drive my daughter to Hebrew school twice a week (it's during the workday, I can't do it or afford a driver, and they've moved the synagogue to a place where no buses go). Crickets, even though the community's got a lot of rich housewives and they all talk about how important community is. I'm not tremendously surprised -- none of these people have ever been willing to help, even when I've had childcare crises and needed to work -- but it's a blow to my daughter, who really loves Hebrew school and wasn't expecting to be shut out like this.

At one time I had a decent social network but ironically enough I didn't need it then. Single motherhood/working drastically reduces time/money available for socializing, plus I've lost patience for the mom chitchat, and besides can't reciprocate when it comes to favors -- no time/energy.

The book is about CBT. Gaus explains how she uses CBT to help her patients identify and change thought patterns that can be destructive. I will post more, as I get through the book.

- isolation and poor social support systems
Yes
- a sense of failure in attaining interpersonal or occupational goals
Yes
- chronic stress in daily living
Yes
- a lack of coping abilities resulting in maladaptive responses to stress
Yes

That sucks. Happy Passover to you and your daughter anyway.

I have no friends and I have my family.



I am not sure what this means but I never make goals I don't think I would be able to do.



I am not stressed out everyday. There are not things everyday I have to do that are stressful.



I have anxiety so stress does affect me and I don't deal with it well.

Yes to all four.

Thanks very much. In a way, it's a relief - I knew 30 years ago that I didn't want anything to do with that kind of Jewish community -- which I suppose is most of them, now -- and had the sense to stay away until my daughter was born. Then I figured I was obliged to give her an education so she could make her make her own decisions. I think from here on in I'll let her take the lead -- she identifies strongly as Jewish, has enough education to be comfortable in any Reform and maybe some Conservative community, should she want to, and can go further on her own if she wants to. If she wants to go on Saturdays, I'll take her; if she wants to be bat mitzvah, I'll call the rabbi and let him figure out how to work with my schedule. I think he will, but if he won't I'll just shame the community nationally, be very vocal about it. Write a nice moving piece for the Atlantic or whatever. Some years ago, when I was unemployed and couldn't find work that fit the schedule of a single mom with no help and a young child (daytime/weekdays only, no travel), I went looking high and low for help in the US Jewish community. Got no help, but did get an invitation to spend $4K on a trip to Israel. But that's what things have turned into, seems like -- country clubs on one hand, and wildly ignorant and misogynistic religious zealots on the other, and very little inbetween. It's a kind of selfishness I don't understand at all. But it does seem to be getting much worse. A few months ago I came across a recent report on Jewish poverty in the NYC area -- turns out that in this region of lavish bar mitzvahs and palatial synagogues and $1K/wk summer camps, there's half a million Jews living at or near the federal poverty line. So much for community. The official response was predictable, and sad.

The first one - eh, what is social support system? I have good neighbours and a few, but good friends. What is left of my family lives abroad.
The other three: Yes, yes and yes.

Last edited by Jensen on 24 Apr 2014, 8:24 am, edited 1 time in total.

- isolation and poor social support systems

No, not for me atleast, i got a fantastic family, few friend unfortunaly, and a relationship. I find it extremely difficult to make and keep friends though.

- a sense of failure in attaining interpersonal or occupational goals

To a degree this is true for me, i have various goals that i failed to attain.

- chronic stress in daily living

Varies really, now im doing good but there has been a time i was non stop stressed.

- a lack of coping abilities resulting in maladaptive responses to stress

yup

That list describes my situation astonishingly well:

isolation and poor social support systems
I have little family: my mother is elderly and I have no siblings. The family I do have know where I am when they need somthing doing involving technology or the Internet or something mechanical needs fixing but otherwise I'm left to myself. I have tried to reach out (and have tried to heal a rift with one branch of the family) but they're just not interested. Such friends as I had have drifted away as they settle down into successful careers and family life. I'm really scared about the future.

a sense of failure in attaining interpersonal or occupational goals
I got a degree but I always expected better academically. I had trouble with the social side of University rather than the intellectual side. I'm working in a reasonable job but I don't have what you'd call a career.

chronic stress in daily living
I'm working full time and in a relationship but it's absolutely as much as I can deal with. I'm hanging on by my fingernails and it won't take much for me to lose my grasp. The current government's policies of attacking the vulnerable mean there is no safety net under me.

a lack of coping abilities resulting in maladaptive responses to stress
I really don't know how I will cope when my mother dies. I've had short periods in the past where I've got so stressed out that I've been unable to work. This has made employers furious and they've threatened me with the sack (even though I have been supported by clinicians). The atmosphere is much worse now. It's not gong to be good.

That book sounds interesting Rocket123 so thanks for the heads-up - I will investigate it further

I think that the impairments mentioned by rocket belong to people who have an anxiety disorder in combination with other mental problems instead of aspergers.