Household chores and executive functions

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How do you cope with household chores?

I feel so overwhelmed taking care of a small apartment. I have come to realize laundry and dishes are just an endless cycle. But my biggest problem seems to be straightening / sorting - I get a lot of clutter because it hits on my executive function issues. What is this? Where does it belong? Where can I put it that I will find it again?

The result is a rather untidy place that NTs would consider messy. There is nothing dangerous - it's not hoarder level mess but it's definitely got piles of clutter and disorganization everywhere. It's stressful trying to deal with deciding whether or not we need something, will need it, or can get rid of it.

My husband helps with some things but we are both on the spectrum.

Any practical advice?

"It's stressful trying to deal with deciding whether or not we need something, will need it, or can get rid of it."

The trick I learned for knowing what to throw out and what to keep when I had very limited storage space was to put everything I was considering tossing into a box or garbage bag with the date on it, and then put the bag away. Then, in six month's time if I didn't need anything out of the bag, I threw it out or gave it away.

The one catch to this is not to put seasonal-type items in the bag.

Thanks, that's a great idea! I'm going to try that.

Seems that most of us fall into either extreme of being really messy or super tidy. I am a neat-nick and my flat must be well organised or else I would probably fall apart! I do know that one's propensity for messy-to-neat is really ingrained, unlike many other habits which are plastic. In all honesty, if you two are OK with your apartment, you might just take turns with routine clean-up chores.

Otherwise the simplest solution would be for you and your husband to hire a housekeeper to come once a week. Should be affordable and you might be able to hire a part-time student (or something) to save some money. But for sorting, owning fewer things makes clean-up much easier, so you could have a yard sale or donate those extras. Keep you place really sparse! Invest in a nice shelving unit with lots of cubbies for your rooms to make sorting easier, even using labels to keep track. One rule is that for every one new thing you bring into your house, get rid of one similar old thing.

If you haven't used it in six months, toss it. Try to find a home for everything. This is advice I try to follow, but it's definitely a challenge. It doesn't help when something's "home" ends up in a nonsensical area. My husband wants to hold onto everything, and I like open, empty rooms. I guess there's a middle in there somewhere.

Unfortunately hiring a cleaner is out right now as money is tight. I like the idea of getting rid of one thing for every new thing that comes in.

I have been trying to make it a practice of going through our things once in a while and weeding out some stuff for donation - sweaters we don't wear, games we haven't played in ages, etc. The library and shelter appreciate donations.

I think one of the biggest problems is surfaces - they seem to accumulate things. Our table winds up being a dumping ground for anything we are carrying when we walk into the kitchen. Our computer desk winds up covered in assorted things, and then it becomes a puzzle of trying to figure out where to put everything that we remove from it.

I guess the major challenges are -
1) finding things when they 'disappear' into the clutter
2) finding places to put things originally so they don't become clutter
3) figuring out what an 'acceptable level' of clutter is so we can have friends over without breaking a social rule on housekeeping

Although some of it is a bit much, I quite like flylady. She breaks things down into little chunks and suggests things like always clean your car out on Friday, stuff like that. www.flylady.net

Having a specific day to do specific chores on sounds like a good idea. And anything in easy steps is a good thing. I will check that out, thank you!

My suggestion is that you write down a list of everything you need to do each week, then break it down so you have an even workload each day (divided between the two of you) and on the friday or saturday you treat yourselves (something small that you wouldn't do otherwise, maybe order a pizza or buy that tub of ice cream or do to the movies or rent/buy that movie you were eyeing or whatever...) if all your chores for the week has been done on time and without nagging.

Alone, I'll let a mess form around me, not because I like living like that, but because I don't really think to do anything about it. Thankfully, I reach a threshold where I recognize that its getting bad, and do something about it. It would be easier to do little cleanings regularly, than one big one when it becomes overwhelming, but I just can't seem to get myself to do that.

I actually like doing housework (really ) and I love to listen to music while working. Making it fun is less of a chore, plus the gratification of a tidy flat. Attractive colourful cubby bins make the process appealing too and, for extra motivation, don't forget to buy a bouquet of flowers for your front table. Even just 'small minutes' of tidying up, like while watching TV, really add up.

I am apparently a 'bit of a clean freak'.

I however disagree, yes I like my environment to be basically clean and tidy but that is so I can function, I achieve this through having a rigorous routine. Monday mornings I wash bedding and any clothes and towels that need it and then hoover the carpets and every second week I mop the lino in both kitchen and bathroom.

Every evening after cooking and eating my meal I do the dishes and wipe down the surfaces.

I shower every evening and sometimes again in the morning if I have had bad night sweats.

I do all this rigorously otherwise things fall apart and this decay spreads into the rest of my life and my headspace.

peace j

I find that keeping the kitchen tidy is really easy. (I wonder if it's because retreating to do the dishes has always given me alone time) But tidying and cleaning the rest of my place is just so...unappealing. I don't live in a complete sty, but finding the will-power to do general cleaning is so hard.